Some relationships do more harm than good. However, knowing when that’s the case can be difficult, as romantic feelings are often blinding, making the warning signs of unhealthy relationships less visible.
This woman endured a toxic relationship without fully realizing it for 1 and a half years, until she started suspecting her boyfriend of messing with her toothbrush, which he completely denied. So, she turned online for some advice, and after the Internet weighed in, she chose to make an important decision.
Romantic feelings are often blinding, making the warning signs of unhealthy relationships less visible
Image cfredits: cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Luckily, this woman managed to see red flags in her relationship thanks to a toothbrush and the Internet
Image credits: engin akyurt / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRAbeautifulglow
Realizing that your relationship is negatively affecting your well-being isn’t so straightforward
If a relationship detracts from a person’s overall happiness, it’s a good tell-tale sign that it’s going into unhealthy territory. However, realizing that your relationship is negatively affecting your well-being isn’t so straightforward, as all couples go through ups and downs, and love has a funny way of putting rose-colored glasses on us.
Besides, a relationship might start out healthy when things are going well, but the addition of outside or inside stressors can create a strain between partners over time, which happens subtly and isn’t always noticeable at first. If partners don’t acknowledge that their relationship is becoming unhealthy, it can develop into toxic or even abusive behaviors that have a significant impact on one’s health, happiness, and overall well-being.
In fact, poor communication is one of the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Ineffective communication often involves not talking about issues, avoiding confrontation or difficult problems by stonewalling or getting defensive, and expecting their partner to read their mind. This prevents partners from expressing their needs, feelings, and boundaries, which can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
Other signs of unhealthy relationships include a lack of trust, disrespect, and controlling behaviors. When there’s a lack of trust between partners, they might feel like they have to hide things from their significant other or might suspect that the other is hiding something from them. Meanwhile, disrespect and controlling behaviors in the relationship can make a person feel dismissed, ridiculed, and isolated from friends and family.
In more extreme cases, people in unhealthy relationships are going through feelings of betrayal, blame, emotional abuse, fear, gaslighting, loneliness, and physical abuse.
Some unhealthy relationships can be repaired, but not all
When a person realizes they’re in an unhealthy relationship and not just going through a rough patch, the first thing they should do is to carefully reflect on the relationship and decide if it’s fixable. Some unhealthy relationships can be repaired, but this requires both partners’ willingness to participate in making it work. If one party is uninterested in changing their unhealthy behaviors, the survival rate of the relationship plummets past the point of saving.
If a couple decides to try and make things work, they have to work as a team to recognize and avoid the unhealthy patterns in their behaviors. This calls for emotional support, active listening, and transparency. Both partners should offer support and communicate in a manner that feels honest and free of guilt and manipulation so they can set healthy boundaries and restore their connection. For this purpose, therapy can be very helpful. A therapist can help the couple identify their issues and teach them new coping and communication skills.
However, not every unhealthy relationship can be saved. If one person has no interest in changing, or the situation involves any form of abuse, ending things could be the best way to protect oneself.
Leaving an unhealthy relationship is far from easy, but what can help is reaching out and opening up to loved ones. They can offer emotional support as well as have a place to stay or help move out after a breakup. After ending the relationship, it’s important to take some time for relaxation, sleep, and self-care, as leaving any relationship can feel painful and distressing.
Readers urged the woman to get out of the relationship
Image credits: yoppy / flickr (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman posted an update:
Image credits: ThrowRAbeautifulglow
And readers were glad that she was able to get help so quickly
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