Kristen Bell was forced to take measures on social media after facing immense heat for her anniversary tribute to Dax Shepard.
The 45-year-old actress shared a disturbing confession while celebrating her 12th wedding anniversary with her longtime husband.
Netizens slammed her message for being “insensitive” and “tone-deaf,” but the couple’s celebrity friends seemed unfazed by the controversy and flooded the post with congratulatory messages.
Experts also told Bored Panda that her message could contribute to the “harmful trivialisation of violence against women.”
Kristen Bell was forced to take measures on social media after facing immense heat for her anniversary tribute to Dax Shepard
Image credits: Araya Doheny/Variety
Kristen Bell appeared to intentionally shut out critics after her post sparked controversy over the weekend.
Her anniversary tribute to Dax Shepard featured a dark joke about him turning her into the subject of a true-crime episode.
“Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: ‘I would never k*** you. A lot of men have k***ed their wives at a certain point. Even though I’m heavily incentivized to k*** you, I never would,’” read the caption alongside a post of the couple tightly embracing each other.
The actress made a disturbing confession about her longtime husband that irked fans online
Image credits: JB Lacroix/Getty Images
Social media users quickly accused the couple of glamorizing violence. Some even pointed out that October was earmarked as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
“Kristen there’s no way you posted this during domestic violence awareness month,” one said, while another wrote, “that’s a very odd thing to say.”
“Not funny at all. What kind of man says that to his wife? Oh wait, I know exactly what kind. Get out now, Kristen,” said another.
Kristen restricted comments on her post amid the backlash.
The couple’s Hollywood friends seemed oblivious to the backlash and gushed over the couple
Image credits: daxshepard
Meanwhile, the backlash didn’t seem to register among the Hollywood circle, as they chimed in with congratulatory messages and inside jokes.
“This is LOVE,” said Brooklyn Nine-Nine star Terry Crews.
“He should write for Hallmark,” quipped longtime America’s Got Talent judge Howie Mandel.
Actress Mae Margaret Whitman said, “Only because we’d never let him get away with it.”
“You guys are the best,” gushed fellow actress Zoey Deutch.
“Oh I love this picture,” said comedian Sarah Silverman.
Dateline, the investigative journalism show that covers true-crime stories, also left a cheeky comment on the post: “Screenshotted.”
Image credits: kristenanniebell
Image credits: kristenanniebell
Experts revealed that messages like these, especially from figures in the limelight, could trivialize violence against women.
“Violence against women and girls is no joke,” said Isabella Lowenthal-Isaacs, policy manager at Women’s Aid, a charity working to eradicate domestic violence against women and children.
“In an era where one woman is k*lled by a partner or ex-partner every four days, language like this is a harmful trivialization of violence against women which normalize ab*se, make light of real suffering, and contribute to a culture where harm is dismissed or minimized,” she told Bored Panda.
Isabella noted that violence against women and girls “is rooted in misogyny and sexism.” So to “dismantle these structures,” it’s important that “everybody, particularly those in the limelight, take it seriously,” she added.
“Violence against women and girls is no joke,” said Isabella Lowenthal-Isaacs, policy manager at Women’s Aid
Image credits: kristenanniebell
Domestic violence expert Annalise Acorn acknowledged that Kristen’s post was “obviously” a “joke.”
“Whether it’s actually funny or not is another question, but Kristen Bell is a comedian and for most people who are funny, you have to play the numbers,” said the professor from University of Alberta’s Faculty of Law.
She explained that comedians “pitch a lot of things,” and some of them may be really funny while some might not be.
“In order to be funny, they need to be dis-inhibited and try/say things the rest of us would probably edit out. So yes, in a private context I would not think it was that funny but I would totally give it a pass,” she told Bored Panda.
However, she said the dynamics are different on public forums like social media.
Image credits: kristenanniebell
“On a public forum where you have no control over your audience and no actual relationship with the vast majority of your readers – I would say that this post is exactly what people online have been calling it- ‘tone deaf,’” she said.
“I don’t think there was any intention to trivialize domestic violence here, I just think that as a public figure with a large following it would be better if one gave a little more thought to their ‘edit function’ because such comments are going to land in all kinds of different ways for different people and it’s obvious that a lighthearted comment about men killing their wives is going to really be offensive to some people,” she added.
The Nobody Wants This star had to be reminded by a reporter that her wedding anniversary was coming up
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Ahead of her anniversary, Kristen appeared to have completely forgotten that her anniversary was coming up.
When asked by an Entertainment Tonight reporter if she remembered what was special about October 17, The Good Place actress said, “The beginning of the weekend? The Wrexham Charity Gala?”
While sharing marriage advice, Kristen said it was important for couples to be “sitting in discomfort”
Image credits: daxshepard
“Oh my god! It’s my anniversary!” she shouted when it finally struck her.
“You know, I don’t remember that … I’m so glad you told me,” she added before noting that Dax probably forgot about it, too.
They nevertheless had a date planned for the day, despite forgetting it was their anniversary.
Image credits: daxshepard
The couple first connected in 2007 before getting engaged in 2009. After tying the knot at a Beverly Hills courthouse in 2013, they welcomed daughters Delta, 11, and Lincoln, 12, over the years.
During the season two premiere of her Netflix show Nobody Wants This last week, Kristen offered some marriage advice and said “sitting in discomfort” was extremely important for couples.
“Because vulnerability is uncomfortable,” she told Entertainment Tonight.
“I don’t even remember my anniversary. I maybe am not the person to come to if you’re single,” joked the mother-of-two
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“It’s hard to say what your needs are,” she went on to say. “It’s hard to say, ‘You hurt my feelings, and here’s why.’ It’s also even harder to say, ‘I hurt your feelings, and here’s why.’”
“So sitting in the uncomfortable feelings and realizing that just like anything, cooking a great meal, going to the gym and getting a six-pack, whatever it is, those things take hard work, and relationships are no different,” she added.
The actress joked about having nothing to say when asked about the best dating advice for single people.
“Oh, I would have no idea,” she plainly said. “I don’t even remember my anniversary. I maybe am not the person to come to if you’re single.”
Some defended Kristen’s humor and said it was a joke, while others said it was in poor taste
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