It’s natural to expect a sibling to be there for you in a time of need. What’s not okay is to take their kindness for granted and feel like you can act as you please just because of your relationship with them.
Doing so is a surefire way to spark drama, as seen in the case of these two women. The older sister thought it was acceptable to suddenly change plans during their road trip and cause a significant inconvenience.
The younger sister, who was understandably frustrated and furious, decided to ditch the trip and all their planned activities. Unfortunately, she was also vilified because of her actions.
Some people may feel entitled toward their siblings
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This was what a woman experienced with her older sister during their planned road trip
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The older sibling didn’t think her actions caused her younger sister a great deal of inconvenience
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Out of frustration, the younger sister decided to ditch the trip altogether
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The author clarified some parts of her story
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She also revealed that her entitled sibling tried to make her come off as the villain
Image credits: Protectyour_Peace32
Even the slightest case of unequal treatment can cause sibling entitlement
This likely isn’t the first story you’re reading about siblings quarreling because one of them acted so entitled. Experts refer to this as genetic relational entitlement, where a person believes they deserve something from a family member because of their genetic relation.
But what causes this kind of behavior? According to marriage and family therapist and Pacific Coast Therapy founder Kaila Hattis, MA, LMFT, even the slightest display of biases from the parents can be a factor.
“A child who is constantly spared of chores, even that 10 minutes a day, will add up to more than 60 hours of exemption in one year,” she told Bored Panda. “The habit teaches them that other people will take responsibility on their part.”
Kaila explains that the favored child will gradually develop a lack of responsibility, not because they are aware of their manipulative behavior, but because their environment has reinforced the imbalance.
Here’s when things get problematic: as the siblings grow older, the favored one may continue to expect compliance, while the other will begin to harbor resentment. According to Kaila, the gap between the two may become solidified over the years into estrangement.
“Once the fracture sets in, mending trust is a long-term process that almost never happens without a deliberate effort to repair it,” she said.
“Entitlement increases when reinforcement is unpredictable”
It’s one thing to establish limits when dealing with an entitled sibling, but it’s another thing to be consistent about it. As Kaila explains, the variability of the boundaries one enforces only increases expectation, much like how it is with gamblers.
The process may take weeks or even months of consistency, but she says it is for the long term.
Regarding interactions, Kaila advises replacing the environment to decrease the chance of entitlement. If you’re meeting with a sibling for three hours one-on-one, she suggests restricting it to 45 minutes in a public or group setting.
“In time, these practical changes clearly indicate that the relationship will go on, but on healthier terms that protect your emotional well-being,” she said.
It’s safe to say that after the road trip incident, the relationship between the two sisters is dented, to say the least. While it may take the older sister to realize her shortcomings, it is up to the younger sibling to properly enforce boundaries and prioritize protecting her peace.
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