Before children develop their prefrontal cortex and figure out all the unspoken rules of polite society, they get a brief window of pure freedom, saying and doing whatever pops into their heads.
Great for them. Not always so great for their parents. Because while that zero filter can be hilarious, it can also lead to some painfully awkward moments.
On TikTok, Trey Colbert asked parents to spill the most mortifying things their kids have pulled off—the kind that make you want to avoid public outings forever. Their replies did not disappoint. Scroll down for the most entertaining ones… and maybe send a little sympathy to these parents. They’ve earned it.
Image credits: trey_colbert
#1
Here’s a cute one 🥰: my 3 year old in the grocery store in Florida saw an old man with a white beard and white hair and grabbed him arm to say “Santa”?. The man pulled his sunglasses down and gave a wink 😜 and said he was on vacation.
Image credits: Side of my neck
#2
Me and my son where playing monopoly we lost all the money so I printed some out off the computer and we cut it. I went to the bank a week later and the teller was counting our money and he says my mom prints it in the basement.
Image credits: katefielder
#3
My son when he was 4 thanked a black man in a suit who held the door open for us by saying “thanks Obama.”
Image credits: ehmro11
#4
Middle of a world wide pandemic, lockdown here in NZ so essential services only. Took my son to the supermarket with me and while waiting to pay for shopping he walked up behind the man in front of us and licked the chicken nugget tattoo on the back of his leg!
Image credits: AshC
#5
Got dragged to church by my mom. The pastor started preaching about Jesus dying and then resurrecting on the 3rd day. My son started yelling MOM THAT GUY IS SAYING JESUS IS A ZOMBIE!
Image credits: Airwreckuh
#6
After hurricane Helene hit, my daughters class wrote cards for the people affected. She told me she wrote ‘I hope you’re okay but I don’t think your house is.’
Image credits: Meghan|Get Your ✨ Fit Together
#7
My autistic child was into organizing by color. A black family got on the elevator. She tried to move us into a pattern. They were very understanding.
Image credits: Banana
#8
When my daughter was 4 we were having breakfast at a restaurant and she asked the elderly lady next us why she wasn’t in heaven yet.
Image credits: Bonifa
#9
I was pushing my daughter in the cart walking in to Walmart. A lady with vitiligo was walking past us and she points at her saying “MOMMY COWWWW” and then she proceeded to make cow noises going “moooooo”.
Image credits: mlauni1
#10
When my son was 2 I took him to Michael’s! He saw a Muslim woman covered from head to toe. He pointed and yelled “you forgot to take your Halloween costume off” I wanted to crawl under a rock!
Image credits: karlah227
#11
I’m not a mother but i have a lil brother. We were at the airport going back home after a trip and my brother saw a heavier guy and my brother proceeds to point at him and shouts “THE PLANE WON’T FLY IF HE’S IN IT!” I wanted to bury myself when he said that.
Image credits: D_Yangyang
#12
My daughter (6yo) announced while I was presenting on a zoom call (right at the beginning of Covid) “mommy you’re wearing pants today!” So 300+ people knew at that moment I didn’t wear pants on a regular basis.
Image credits: not lisa
#13
5 y/o son asked if the gas station guy with a turban on was a genie.
Image credits: Marlena M
#14
My 3 yo at the time told an elderly woman at the drs office her brother was at home locked in a crate and wasn’t allowed to go places with us….. the “brother” she was referring to was our rottie.
Image credits: gray
#15
My son when 10 saw a Hasidic Jew with his top hat on and shouted/pointed, “look dad, a magician!”
Image credits: Jack Straw
#16
I made the mistake of telling my son if he didn’t eat, he wouldn’t grow. He told a person with dwarfism in the checkout line at the grocery store that they needed to eat so they would grow.
Image credits: Laurian
#17
When my daughter was a toddler she called all Men Daddy’s. She really stressed out some dudes at the grocery store.
Image credits: Michelle
#18
My daughter asked the Walmart cashier (who was missing some teeth) if she ever brushed her teeth before.
Image credits: Meg Ehlers898
#19
My son was 3 or 4, saw a little person who was a local celebrity and he pointed at him from about 2 feet away and said “look at the weird baby dad.”
Image credits: Jeff Perusse
#20
I told my son he couldn’t eat chips until we got home. My son responded loudly, “but mom we don’t have a home.” We very much did and everybody in the store started offering housing resources.
Image credits: JustDonnta
#21
My son saw a man with dwarfism and started screaming “MOMMY ITS AN ELF!” We had just watched buddy the elf.
Image credits: Kya Howe
#22
I was hospitalized for stress got out we were at the store she says “ mom you’re out of rehab” 😭😭 I swore I felt the stares.
Image credits: Nancy
#23
My daughter had to write a poem about me a as mom… She said she gets all the candy and sweets… cause I have diabetes… It was posted in the hall with my picture for everyone to see.
Image credits: Esme
#24
My son told the pediatrician when he was like 7 or 8 that “my mom doesn’t make us wear seatbelts and we duck if we see a cop “ NEVER HAPPENED and I was so speechless I couldn’t even react.
Image credits: MLee
#25
This guy had a huge birth mark on his forehead at the mall & my son asked if a dog pooped on him.
Image credits: That one person
#26
We were at Walmart and I told my son he better stop or he was in trouble and he said “… are you going to whoop me till I bleed” HUH YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN BEEN WHOOPED.
#27
In Walmart and a nun was in front of us and my daughter yelled “why do people come into Walmart wearing the most ridiculous things.”
Image credits: janis
#28
When my 3-year-old pointed with a bindi on her forehead and asked if the little girl had a boo-boo, I was mortified.
Image credits: stephc329
#29
Not my kid but a girl I nannied in my twenties. I went on the elevator to drop her off at pre k and there was a woman on it who was heavy set. As the doors were closing, the little girl said loudly, “Is she fat or is there a baby in her tummy?” Longest elevator ride in my life.
Image credits: AimeeLloyd
#30
We visited a family member and as soon as my son walked in he said “it’s so dirty. You guys need to clean up.”
Image credits: Mtaka ma
#31
This little boy at the park had something wrong I think it was spina bifida and used his arms to get around. My son thought he was playing so he started doing the same. I got in my car and couldn’t help but cry.
#32
My 3 yo told her pediatrician “I think you forgot to brush your teeth today.”
#33
My son around 4 at the time ask a black lady why did she have chocolate all over her face.
Image credits: Apple User334366
#34
My oldest son pointed to a balding man and said “he’s not wearing any hair on his head”. My second oldest son told a classmate’s mom that I said her son looked like Oscar The Grouch. He really did.
#35
My oldest told her kindergarten teacher that her mom and dad are cousins 🫠 I was so mortified that I sent her teacher a message informing her that we are in no way related and I don’t know what made her say that and all she said was “No worries, have a good weekend!” Which somehow made me feel more embarrassed.
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Image credits: ADesh
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