Is it okay to for men to approach women at the gym? It depends on who you ask… In the blue corner, those who feel guys should just stay in their lane and focus on their workouts. The red corner is somewhat divided. A few there believe some small talk never hurt anyone, and the others are all for a full-on flirting session while flexing their muscles.
One man recently admitted that he never really understood the “don’t approach women at the gym” rule, mainly because he considers gym to be a semi-social place. That’s until he witnessed what he described as a “bald man in his 50s” flirting with a woman who appeared to be half the man’s age. The guy’s argument was was going strong until he made a comment that some netizens found questionable. Some were left wondering whether he really does understand.
Many women prefer not to be approached while working out at the gym
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One guy claims he finally understands why, but not everyone is convinced…
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
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A dating coach explains when it is okay to approach a woman at the gym
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Leading dating coach Blaine Anderson, founder of Dating By Blaine, says as a general rule, it’s often best to avoid approaching women on the gym floor. However, she admits that she actually met her husband at the gym, and that there are ways in which to strike up a conversation with someone without coming across as creepy or annoying.
Anderson says you should never interrupt someone’s workout. Ask yourself how you’d feel if a stranger suddenly appeared and started bothering you while you were repping squats, or in the middle of your bench press. Irritated? Distracted? Creeped out? Would you think they’re weird, inconsiderate or even rude?
“Even if your crush isn’t actively exercising, she may be in the zone, and unreceptive to interruptions,” cautions the expert. She says many women, herself included, don’t feel attractive while they’re working out.
In the same way it’s a no-no to tap a fellow plane passenger on the shoulder and strike up a conversation when they have headphones on, do not disturb a woman wearing earphones or headphones at the gym. Or anywhere else, for that matter.
So when can you talk to the cutie you’ve been eyeing? According to Anderson, “if she’s working out right next to you, and you’ve already smiled at each other, by all means start a conversation!” Keep it short and sweet and casual, and see if the conversation goes anywhere.
The dating coach believes it’s actually best to “shoot your shot” after you’ve both finished working out. For example, at the smoothie bar, or water cooler. Try paying her a genuine compliment, suggests Anderson. Something like, “Did I see you crushing it over at the squat rack today?”
Initiating a conversation while you’re leaving the gym might also work, if the timing works out. Anderson says you could introduce yourself while you’re both walking to your cars, and mention that you see her often and thought you’d say hello.
Just because you approach a woman doesn’t automatically mean she’ll be open to speaking with you. But Anderson says creating a non-verbal connection while you’re on the gym floor can often increase the likelihood that will she want to talk with you. Basically, smile and make eye contact.
“Her response (i.e. does she smile back?) tells you everything you need to know about whether she’s receptive to chatting, plus it gives you an excuse to approach later,” says the dating coaching. She adds that you can literally say, “Hey, we made eye contact earlier, and I wanted to introduce myself…”
For the love of dumbbells, don’t ever stare at a woman at the gym. Or anywhere. It’s creepy. There’s a huge difference between making eye contact and ogling someone. You also should hold off a bit on asking for her number, or asking her out, even after you’ve had the first conversation.
Anderson says it’s best to keep it casual and breezy the first or second time you chat. The expert believes you can “increase your likelihood of successfully sparking romance 100x by waiting to ask for her number until your second or third conversation because it shows you’re socially intelligent.” And here’s why…
Not pouncing immediately indicates that you’re aware the gym isn’t a place women expect (or want) to be hit on. And, says Anderson, it shows that you’re “not so desperate that you ask girls out before you’ve learned whether you have a connection.”
One survey revealed that 88% of men polled “like” or “don’t mind flirting” in the gym
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A survey of more than 2,000 Americans aimed to delve a bit deeper into whether gym-goers like mixing flirting with fitness. Sports nutrition brand MyProtein polled people between the ages of 18 and 70. The results revealed that men are much more open to flirting in the gym than women.
88% of guys polled said they like or don’t mind it, while 76% of women said the same. Interestingly, those aged 51+ are the most open to flirting in the gym, with 95% saying they are totally cool with it.
Almost a third of U.S. adults admitted they have actually tried to make a move in the gym. Of those that did try, more than half said their efforts were successful.
According to the survey, the best technique for flirting in the gym was to ‘just smile and try to make conversation,’ similar to Anderson’s earlier suggestion. 54% of respondents said this was their preferred way to meet someone while or after working out. ‘Making friends in common to talk to them’ was the second favorite among those polled.
‘Staring at your gym-crush’ was voted the worst way to flirt by 41%of respondents. Don’t say we didn’t warn you! Similarly, being arrogant, big-headed, braggish, or showing off in the gym turned out to be a major turn-off.
Many netizens shared their own similar stories
“Cool guys don’t announce it”: some felt the man’s flex fell flat on the floor
People had mixed reactions about whether or not it’s okay to approach women at the gym
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