If you’ve never heard the phrase, “Not under my roof!” come flying out of your parents’ mouths, consider yourself lucky. Besides the normal growing pains that accompany our childhood or teenage years, we’re often also slapped with a whole set of painful rules and regulations. Some more ridiculous than others.
Bless our parents, though. Many were just doing the best they could with the limited knowledge they had available. And we’d like to believe that for the most part, our folks had good intentions. “Don’t jump on the furniture,” “Be in bed by 8,” and, “Clean up after yourself” are among the common rules that many (if not most) of us had to abide by. Then there are those moms and dads who not only decided to think outside the box, but burnt it altogether, with their wild and bizarre parenting policies. And a few of them lived to regret it later.
Someone asked, “What’s the dumbest rule that your parents made and it ended up backfiring on them instead?” and the responses read like a family drama series. Bored Panda has put together a list of the best for you to laugh, cry and cringe at while you reminisce on your own carefree childhood.
#1
Racism. My step dad said he would kick me out if i were to ever date a “brown man”. Well i’m now happily living with my Mexican boyfriend and haven’t spoken to him in 10 years.
© Photo: mxxryjxxne
It’s normal for kids to complain about having to follow rules, with some even going as far as calling their parents “mean,” “nasty,” or “unfair” for implementing them. Would life be great if we could all do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted?
Not actually. If everyone ran amok, the world might very well be in a worse state than it already is… Children and adults need rules in order for us to function properly. Many experts agree that setting rules and boundaries for kids is crucial.
“Trying to raise a responsible, cooperative child without age-appropriate boundaries is setting your child up for failure, unpopularity & stress because a well-balanced, self-regulated adult, starts with a child able to follow your rules first until they can self-regulate their own behavior,” says Sue Atkins, President of Montessori UK and a parenting expert.
#2
“Don’t date, don’t even look at boys” then is surprised when I’m 22 and a lesbian.
© Photo: parasiticstars.online
#3
My dad said I wasn’t allowed to answer the door when I was home alone even if I knew who was at the door because anyone who needed to be in the house had a key to the house. He forgot his keys a few days later and I didn’t answer the door while staring at him through the window.
© Photo: k.maloka
Atkins argues that not giving kids rules is a bit like handing your keys to a toddler and letting them drive your 4×4. Rules, she says, prepare children for the real world, and teach them what to expect and how to behave. Having clear expectations can help kids adapt to new situations, perform better at school and fit in easily at work & in society as a whole.
The expert adds that no matter how often children act as if they want to be in control, having too much power is frightening. “They intuitively know that they need an adult to be in charge, and they count on you to guide, nurture and steer [them],” she explains.
#4
I’ve always been a closed off private kid so I would lock my door not even to do anything bad I just don’t like being perceive. My daddy had enough took my door off. Welp yall wanna be so nosey, bet. It didn’t stop me from singing my little heart out loud, tv at a decent volume, me snoring, like I was sparing yall from my shenanigans. Came back one day after school my door was back on. I think it lasted either a day or two & the door was LOCKED!
© Photo: mysterythatispluto
#5
“Only interrupt me on the phone if there’s blood or fire.” I came home with a broken finger (kickball accident in PE that the teacher didn’t take seriously) and waited an hour until she was off the phone to show her my finger was tripled in size… that rule got amended pretty fast.
© Photo: bessfriendreallythough
#6
My step mom: “If you make me wait on you after school I will make you walk home.”
I was late again and she left me. I walked across town and no one could get ahold of me until I made it home. I didn’t have a cell phone.
I ended up getting a cell phone and more time to get to the car after school.
© Photo: auxinput.rnb
Atkins says it’s best to set “positive” rules rather than always saying “no,” “don’t,” or “you can’t.” For example, instead of saying “No running about with food,” say, “We eat in the kitchen at the table.” And praise them when they’re doing something right rather than yelling, nagging or moaning when they do something wrong.
Family therapist Katelyn Alcamo warns that one of the biggest mistakes parents make is not enforcing the rules they set. “We are programmed to want to make our children happy,” she explains. “This desire often translates to avoidance of anything that makes our child upset, including enforcing consequences for negative behaviors.”
#7
Senior in high school and Was grounded; they took away my car for a week…only to realize that as the eldest daughter, I’m basically the third parent, so who gone pick up my lil bro and sister from practice? Lasted half a day, and I became DRUNK with power.
© Photo: pizzaqueenbk
#8
“You can’t get up from the table till you finish your food.”
Me: Falls asleep at the table
Sometimes you’re full.
© Photo: _justtisha
#9
My house my rules and I say it every time they come visit me.
© Photo: dubsandgers
However, Alcamo stresses that it’s important to set realistic rules. That’s because it’s easier to enforce rules you believe are logical and reasonable. And if your rules are ridiculous, your child may not take them seriously.
“Realistic consequences are also important,” notes the expert. “Don’t threaten something you can’t enforce. Kids notice when parents are inconsistent in enforcing consequences and will take advantage.”
#10
Don’t bring home any babies, now she wants more grandkids.
© Photo: drillmvtik
#11
When I was in highschool, my father told me “We aren’t friends. Don’t act like it.” just because I was laughing with him.
Now we don’t talk. Totally cut him off.
© Photo: chnnlgtu
#12
When my sister & i moved in with our dad post divorce we made “house rules”. For every 15min you were late coming home = 1 day grounding. Well dad decided to go out after work and not tell his kids. 2hrs later he comes home = he was grounded for a week. No TV, no phone, no games, etc. He accepted his punishment. His friends would call and wed tell them ‘he’s grounded you’ll have to call him at work tmrw “. His friends gave him so much [hard time]…and he was never late again.
© Photo: originalcourtney
Both experts agree that the earlier you start setting and enforcing rules and consequences, the easier your parenting journey will be. Alcamo says she’s seen many cases of parents not setting rules when their kids were little because they didn’t see any major problems.
“As a result, they were often lenient the few times their kids did make poor choices. However, things change when kids become adolescents,” warns the therapist. “Not only are the stakes higher, but the pushback may be more intense if they don’t understand their behavior has consequences.”
#13
My [toxic] biological family basically made me responsible for cleaning the house, taking care of my younger siblings and cousin, and cooking. They said they were “preparing me for marriage and motherhood.”
Anyways, my husband does all the cooking and most of the cleaning. I only cook and clean when I feel like. Also, I’m no contact with them.
© Photo: starw0man
#14
So I was my parents dream come true I was the only child so I didn’t have time to [mess] up, got straight As and did all my chores. I was what you called an educated menace. Their rules backfired when they tried to punish me by taking things I loved. I like boring [stuff], so reading and playing piano was my relaxation. They didn’t have anything to take away from the worse thing that happened, was I got pregnant at 15 but graduated high school a year early.
© Photo: __torirena
#15
Not really a rule but a lot of paranoia around teen pregnancy, to be fair, it was the 90s. It worked though, I didn’t have kids in high school or ever.
© Photo: kiffanik
Atkins’ advice is not to be too strict. She says many parents set too many boundaries in an effort to be firm and avoid spoiling or indulging their kids too much. But the flip side is that without meaning to, these parents end up severely restricting and trying to control their child’s behavior.
“I worked with a lovely Mum who had 35 rules written up on the back of the kitchen door! The little 5-year-old was so angry all the time – he had a special cushion in the kitchen to punch,” shares the expert, adding that she helped the mother get the list down to 5 or 6 realistic house rules.
#16
My mom would tell me not to leave my room until I’m done cleaning. I had all of my toys, games, a bed, bathroom, and I only needed to leave when it was time to eat. Lmfao shortly after she changed the rules because I wouldn’t leave my room for a week.
© Photo: bipity.bopity_boop
#17
The only rule was “don’t get caught” my mom really didn’t [care] about where we were or what we got up to so long as it didn’t inconvenience her.
Thankfully I was scared of being arrested so I never did anything that would get me in any legal trouble.
Now my brother on the other hand…
© Photo: janinerbeaner9
#18
If you ever have an unplanned pregnancy as a teenager you will not be staying in this house…I’m 34 in September and still childless.
© Photo: j.a.beautie
As this list proves, being too strict, or setting ridiculous rules can backfire. And Atkins agrees.
“Don’t expect your toddler to sit for an hour at the table every evening while you all eat dinner with Grandma or to never to run in the house – you are setting up your child to fail as your rules aren’t realistic,” she warns. “You could also damage your child’s self-esteem as your high expectations could make them feel that they’re incapable of ever getting things right or ever pleasing you.”
#19
That my sister couldn’t date until I dated. She was a teen mom at 15… meanwhile I didn’t date until I was 22…
© Photo: kawaiikisha
#20
I was fortunate enough to have a DL and access to a car. My parents took my keys as a punishment once and suddenly they were responsible for getting me to all my appointments and practices again.
© Photo: aubz2415
#21
Not exactly a rule but “when you get a paycheck w/ your SSN on it, then you can choose how money is spent.” Cool. Got a job that paid well. Spent my money how I saw fit. She didn’t like but I said “uh ma’am, I’m doing as YOU stated. I got a paycheck w/ my SSN. So if I want McDonald’s tonight, then YES I do have McDonald’s money.” She couldn’t say nothing and no, I didn’t offer her a nugget.
© Photo: vivalanani
#22
After like 13 we were allowed one gift for Christmas. I’ve never asked for anything less than $1k since.
© Photo: juandamonte_
#23
‘Just be nice.’ now I have no personality.
© Photo: alicelukehurst
#24
I would get yelled at after being told to “not talk back” & I took that literally and wouldn’t answer my mother when she spoke or asked me a question. Like sorry/not sorry, I didn’t know you meant to not get smart with you.
© Photo: psilOcybinx
#25
My stupid dad used to hate having animals in the house, and forced us to keep our cats outside. little did he know… when he wasn’t home.. the cats would get brought inside.
© Photo: elven.druid
#26
It’s a very strange rule my parents have, but no speaking during dinner. It’s weird because they were allowed to talk, but I wasn’t because my mom said I only spoke nonsense. It backfired because I no longer answered when they spoke to me or when guests spoke to me.
© Photo: alexa_syp
#27
It was so mean in hindsight but i was a senior in highschool, got grounded and my mom took my phone for some completely valid thing I did. Halloween came and instead of going home i left school with a friend. Hung out til the party i was planning to go to started and went there. At like 11 pm someone comes late, sees me and goes, “hey man the cops called my phone looking for you. You should probably go home.” Stayed longer then got a ride home. I was still very grounded but i got my phone back.
© Photo: a_user_has_no_name
#28
Less a rule more an order. Find a ride home from band camp. Mom worked nights. I was unable to find a ride. I walked half of the four miles home in southern USA summer midday heat before a good Samaritan gave me a ride the rest of the way. Suddenly I didn’t have to worry about rides anymore.
© Photo: hebrandon18
#29
My brother and I couldn’t use the new riding lawnmower until we had read the manual. We hated mowing, so we never read the manual & never had to mow again.
© Photo: custom.made1968
#30
So in high school mom went through something on the computer and was mad that girls my age that she knew were posting pics in their swimsuits? In her mind I guess she thought I was watching xxx content and put parental controls on the tvs and computer. She put too many restrictions and I couldn’t do my homework unless she was home. That lasted maybe 6 months??
© Photo: chelseatalking_
#31
Not a “rule”, but my conservative parents raised us to memorize the Declaration of Independence and rewrite the constitution in our own words—in depth. & had us take constitutional law classes in highschool.
And are shocked that NONE of us are conservative.
#32
Day before I turned 18, my father told me “my house my rules. If I didnt like it Im can gtho”.
He woke up the next day to me getting out. Had all my [stuff] packed up and he chased me into the parking lot talkin bout “get me inside.” Sir. I’m an adult now and don’t like your rules, bye!!
#33
When I took a year off from college, my parents tried to give me a curfew (as if I hadn’t just spent every weekend of the last 9 months staying out until 5am) and refused to give me a house key. They wanted me home at midnight and after several nights of coming down from the third floor to let me in at night they just gave me a house key.
#34
My mom had a rule with one of my brothers, after he turned 18, that if she ever went into his room and it wasn’t clean to her standards, she would charge him $100. After losing a couple of hundred dollars, he started paying my cousin to clean his room for $20. She was pissed.
#35
“You’re too old now for me to buy you Christmas/ birthday gifts.” So I started telling my Mom the same thing.
Eventually I made the rule that, if she wants something—she has to get me something of equal or close value. It’s worked like a charm for the last 10 years
#36
Dont speak me like I;m one of yo friends.
Now as an adult I don’t speak to her like she one of my friends.
#37
Me in middle school: Mom can you drop me off at school, I missed the bus.
Mom: That’s going to make me late but cmon!!
My mom when im in high school with a car & my mom didn’t have one: Baby can you run me to the store real quick before you go to work?
Me: That’s going to make me late but cmon MOM
#38
Mom here: I told my ~9yo daughter to finish her green beans. She said no. I made her sit there. She sat. After a time, I told her to eat them or she was grounded and to go to bed. She went to bed. She’s now 23 and she hasn’t touched a green bean since. I won the battle, she won the war.
#39
“You don’t pay no bills up in here” backfired real quick, I been hustling since I was like 8.
#40
As an only child, she would ground me from going outside with my friends or using electronics.
Then be pissed she had to entertain me. Then had to double down because she felt bad and would take me somewhere cool.
#41
Idk if this counts as a rule per se, but growing up she literally ENGRAINED in my brain, “Never settle.” Now that I’ve cut off toxic family, she doesn’t seem to like it, claiming that since we don’t have a large family we need to make the most of what we have. Like I love you mom but YOU are the one who taught me to never settle!!
#42
For the first time in my life 1 subject in school dropped in the mid year report (sure, it had absolutely nothing to do with being 17 and just been given my 1st cancer diagnosis) so “no computer & no internet, you gotta earn them, we pay for it” (because it was key to isolate me during such a difficult time.
2 weeks later I got another bad test and they tried to take my phone and I went “nah cause you didn’t buy the phone and you’re not paying for the credit : I DID ALL THAT! Wanna take it away when you can’t regulate your anger? Start paying for it! “. He didn’t like that but he knew he couldn’t argue with that.
#43
I broke the family PC in the 90s and my dad banned me from using it but he needed my help half an hour later. And yes, I was totally the family support since my teenage years.
#44
When I was a teenager, my parents would always say “You don’t have to be on the go every single weekend.”
Fine, I’ll stay in my room and turn my stereo all the way up and get on your nerves then.
#45
“stay out of grown folks business” now i’m uninterested in what’s going on in their lives cause that’s their business. and now they want me interested…??? i don’t get it…
#46
“U don’t need to be on that phone all the time.”I could’ve got us out the hood if I was on YouTube more in the early 2000s but I had to go outside and play…..&now she need help resetting her password for everything! 🤦🏽♀️
#47
“Don’t get into relationships until u graduate” – graduates, got a decent job with a pay 3x higher than the normal. Guess who’s gonna be single for life (i love my peace).
#48
My mama wouldn’t get me a cell phone my sophomore year of HS. I turned 16, got a job and bought a phone with my first check. Made sure to always pay the bill without her help. Whenever I got in trouble, she had to find other ways to punish me because she couldn’t take my phone.
#49
Wasn’t a rule, just a consequence. My bus for a bit wouldn’t show up or it’d be late so I’d be standing there freezing for a while.
I ended up needing to be taken to school by my stepdad a few times cuz of and he and my mom got into a fight about it once. So the next time I decided to walk myself to school so I didn’t bother them. It rained and the wind was freezing
Guess who almost got pneumonia and didn’t make it to school?
They never got into an argument about that ever again.
#50
She tried the way her mom did her and she made something I didn’t like, I said I didn’t want it and she said “Eat your food or go to bed.” I went to bed. M’am I don’t like this, I will starve.
#51
Not a rule but made me get a job (dollar general in my tiny town 10 minutes from home) but then wouldn’t let me go to said job at my scheduled times bc it was my fault I got home at 10:30pm. Like sorry you also made me go to college and have a job, classes from 9am-2pm and I had to be at work at 3pm and shift ended at 10:15. Half the time I had to wait 20-30 minutes for my brother to pick me up bc they’d fall asleep or just “forget” like I wasn’t at dinner, how do you forget?
#52
Making me go to bed earlier than the scheduled bedtime as punishment. I was up early and well rested.
#53
I shouldn’t be spending any money on anything when I was yet to find a job after university. This only lasted until I reminded my dad the reason I wasn’t doing something he thought I should be doing was that it cost money and I wasn’t supposed to be spending any money.
#54
It’s not really a rule but every few weeks or so my mom would say I don’t wanna talk to you tonight and I would be perfectly OK with that but then she would ask me a question and I would ignore her and then she would get mad so every single time even if we were in public, I would say very loudly “you said you didn’t wanna talk to me tonight.”
#55
Don’t cuss. Dad took me to the library to learn why swear words are “bad”.
Now I’m an educated cusser.
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