Family get-togethers walk a fine line between a heartwarming success and a total disaster, and sometimes, it only takes a brief moment to tip the balance.
A few days ago, Reddit user Kaylaharper90 shared a story about a recent visit from her brother, his girlfriend, and the children they’re raising. At first, it seemed just like every other time, but when the kids stopped playing, a few toys went missing.
As the Redditor went looking for them, she quickly realized that they weren’t just misplaced—the toys were purposely hidden in the visitors’ bags.
Family visits can quickly go from great to bad to worse
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This time, it was a few missing toys that revealed a much deeper problem
Image credits: Image by Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After the story went viral, the woman released an update on the latest developments
Image credits: kaylaharper90
Stealing can become an addiction
We can’t know for sure what pushed the woman to steal, but there is a condition in which a person experiences a consistent impulse to secretly take items they might not even need—it’s called kleptomania.
According to the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the symptoms of kleptomania include:
- A persistent, recurrent impulse to steal items that are not needed for personal use and do not bring financial gain;
- Feelings of increased tension before a theft; of pleasure, gratification, or relief at the moment of a theft; and, often, of guilt, shame, and/or remorse after a theft, and sometimes of depression;
- The individual’s thefts are not committed due to delusions, mania, or hallucinations, and are not motivated by revenge or anger;
- A person’s thefts cannot be better explained by Antisocial Personality Disorder, Conduct Disorder, or a manic episode.
The age of onset for kleptomania varies, and it can begin in childhood, adolescence, or adulthood. In rare cases, it also begins in late adulthood. So, if Vivian has it now, it could be that she didn’t have it when Chase met her.
However, some experts believe this doesn’t absolve people of responsibility for their actions
“In 40 years of evaluating a variety of offenders, including men and women who steal repeatedly, I have never encountered a true case of ‘Kleptomania,’” psychologist and expert in criminal behavior Dr. Stanton Samenow wrote. “These individuals steal frequently, usually with great proficiency and, more often than not, escape detection.”
“Like driving a car, stealing is a skill that they acquire and practice. Developing a modus operandi, they quickly case out targets and proceed with the theft. They are under no compulsion to steal. If they think there is a good chance of getting caught (e.g., they spot cameras in a store or a security officer), they refrain from stealing at that particular time,” Samenow explained.
But if they do get busted, he said these thieves offer a variety of explanations to try to minimize the penalty—portraying themselves as a victim is one of them.
“This makes the act of stealing appear to be the result of a psychological disorder rather than what it really was—a conscious and deliberate act,” Samenow said.
“Stealing is not necessarily related to a need for the item or to its monetary value. Some individuals steal merely for the excitement. This excitement occurs before, during, and after the act (unless, of course, the thief is caught). For the proficient, frequent thief, even when he is arrested, there is the challenge of deceiving others in an attempt to get out of the hole into which he has drug himself.”
People have had an extensive discussion with the author of the post about what happened
Most of them believe she did nothing wrong
But a few think otherwise
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