Many couples want their proposal to be perfect. Unfortunately, only 39% of Americans would give their proposal an “A+.” The top two things people wish they could change were the ring and the place of the proposal.
When a guy proposed to this woman, she wasn’t happy about the place either. The BF chose their friends’ wedding, but the GF thought it wasn’t the time or place. He got hurt after being shut down, but the GF went online to check whether she was being too harsh.
A guy proposed to his girlfriend during their friends’ wedding and got rejected
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
The GF thought it was not the time and place, but asked for unbiased opinions online
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Feeling_Camp_8847
Popping the question at someone else’s wedding might be perceived as rude
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
It might seem like a good idea: a wedding is a celebration of love, so what better place to ask your significant other to marry than at a place celebrating love? Well, the thing is that they’re not celebrating your love.
Etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore told People that popping the question at someone else’s wedding is rude. It takes the attention away from the couple whose wedding you’re at.
“If you announce your own engagement while at a friend’s wedding, instead of focusing on the newlyweds and their relationship, you are choosing to focus on how the couple positively impacts your relationship.”
Wedding planner Lea Rhynehardt agrees. She told The Knot that a wedding is a special day for the bride and groom, not their friends.
“When we work with our couples we ask the infamous question, ‘what do you envision for your wedding day?’ From experience I’ve never gotten a response where they share that they want their day to be about celebrating another couple or a proposal,” Rhynehardt says.
She admits that proposing at someone else’s wedding might be okay if the happy couple gives you the “okay.” However, other experts say that the couple might feel obligated to accept, so it’s best not to ask at all.
On the other hand, if the newlyweds really do agree, the permission should come from both the bride and groom and involve a more serious conversation than just “joking around,” like in this story.
A proposal should be unique to the couple’s love story
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
There is no one right way to propose. But when you ask your partner to marry you, it should feel personal.
In a previous interview for Bored Panda, proposal expert and date planner Michele Velazquez explained that a proposal should be meaningful and resonate with both partners.
“Brainstorm things about your relationship that may be unique to your love story,” Velazquez recommends. “Think about how you first met, how you fell in love, shared hobbies that brought you together, moments in your relationship that made you stronger, etc. Then circle those ideas that you think could be used as the central theme in your marriage proposal.”
There are some ideas that Velazquez says should be big no-nos:
- Don’t propose in a way that only you think would be cool. For example, if you love a crowd and your partner doesn’t, don’t propose with a flash mob.
- Don’t propose at a sporting event. Proposing in front of thousands of people with beer and nachos on the ground is not romantic.
- Don’t propose using food. Long gone are the days when you can hide a ring in a cheesecake. To that point, don’t propose in any cliche manner.
There’s no shame in discussing the proposal. The days of springing the big question on your partner are long gone too.
“A more subtle way to suggest how you’d like to be proposed to is by starting a Pinterest page for your engagement or liking and sharing proposals you like on other social media outlets,” Velazquez suggested.
“I just didn’t want to be proposed to at an event tailored for someone else,” the GF clarified in the comments
Most commenters sided with the girlfriend: “Proposing at someone else’s wedding is tacky and selfish”
However, a few people blamed the GF for embarrassing the guy: “Try putting yourself in his shoes”
A day later, the woman came back with an update about how the couple’s conversation went
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)
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