In our minds, family is supposed to have our backs no matter what. So, when they break our trust, it can feel more devastating than any betrayal imaginable. It shakes up our sense of security and everything we know about love and loyalty, which makes recovering from it far from easy.
This woman downright refused to forgive and move on from her sister’s betrayal despite many family’s attempts to convince her otherwise. She went no contact with most of them, including her sibling, as she doesn’t think she could trust her ever again or those who support her ‘mistake.’
Family betrayal is one of the most devastating
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For this woman it was so earth-shattering she downright refuses to ever forgive her sister
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
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Betrayal can cause significant emotional distress and even turn into betrayal trauma
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Psychologically, betrayal involves the violation of trust or confidence in a way that causes significant emotional distress, like feelings of hurt, disappointment, and anger. This breach of loyalty is complex and multifaceted and can occur in various relationships, including friendships, romantic partnerships, family bonds, or professional connections. Regardless of the type of the relationship, betrayal can profoundly affect a person’s mental and emotional well-being and go beyond emotional distress.
People who get their trust violated by loved ones and can’t move forward from the negative emotions may experience betrayal trauma. “This type of trauma usually relates to primary attachment figures like a parent, caregiver, or other important relationship from childhood. In adulthood, it tends to repeat among romantic partners,” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.
Betrayal trauma can affect a person’s self-esteem, emotional health, and relationships with others. Those who experience it tend to dissociate, struggle with PTSD, and can suffer from ongoing trust issues, self-doubt, anxiety, and depression. In order to distract themselves, it’s common for people to self-medicate with substances, food, relationships, or other forms of distraction.
Individuals going through betrayal usually respond by pulling away from the person who broke their trust. This relationship often can’t be simply mended, which makes betrayal trauma extremely painful.
The path to recovery looks different for every person, but what can help is coming to terms with what happened
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The path to recovery looks different for every person, but what can help is coming to terms with what happened. People who got hurt by betrayal might be tempted to hide from upsetting emotions or block the breach of trust. However, doing this makes healing more difficult. The suppressed events still come back. So, choosing to acknowledge them can be the first step towards recovery.
While trying to accept what happened, it’s best not to blame oneself, as it can interfere with the healing process. No matter how things went down, the blame for betrayal lies with the person who did it, not whose trust was broken.
It can help to vent the feelings of disloyalty by writing a journal or talking about the situation with someone trusted (a therapist is a great option). It helps to create a space to reflect on the emotions and clear the thoughts instead of suppressing or avoiding them.
In addition, patience and self-care throughout the whole process are essential. “Self-care after betrayal can include eating balanced meals, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities that bring you joy,” licensed therapist and wellness coach Rebecca Capps explained.
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