Family betrayals are rarely simple, and their effects can ripple far beyond the couple involved. When a parent cheats, it can shatter trust, reshape relationships, and leave children carrying emotional burdens for years.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) was left her shattered after her father’s affair came to light, however, duty to her younger brother left some space for interaction with him. It was during one of these interactions that her father dropped mentioned something that took her by surprise and lost it when she wasn’t on board with it.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, the audacity of certain comparisons leaves us completely speechless, especially when they involve situations that are in no way equivalent
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The author’s father had a five-year affair with a younger woman, ultimately leaving the mother when she became pregnant, which tore the family apart
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She however maintained a relationship with her father mainly to help pick up and drop off her younger brother, despite her resentment
Image credits: Abstral Official / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Her father proposed to his mistress, then asked the author to be his best woman, but she declined, citing her disapproval of the relationship
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Her father accused her of hypocrisy over a brief teenage mistake, but she stood her ground, feeling conflicted yet justified in setting boundaries
The OP shared that her father had a five-year affair with a younger woman while still married to her mother, ultimately leaving her after the mistress became pregnant. Naturally, this shattered the OP, and also left her mother heartbroken an still struggling a year later.
Despite her resentment, the OP maintained contact with her father mainly to support her younger brother since she often had to drop and pick him up from their father’s place. However, it was during a pickup that her father revealed that he had proposed to the mistress and wanted her daughter to serve as his best woman.
The request struck a nerve, and while she remained calm, she declined, explaining that although she respected his right to move on, she didn’t approve of the relationship or feel comfortable participating in the wedding. Her father wasn’t having it and accused her of hypocrisy because apparently, she was “a cheater too”.
For context, ten years ago when the OP was still a teenager, she kissed someone else while intoxicated and immediately confessed to her then-boyfriend. This left the OP stunned because for her, the comparison felt not only unfair but dismissive of the damage he caused. Still, on the drive home, she questioned whether she had been too harsh.
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Research helps explain why the OP’s reaction in this story is far from unusual. According to Scoot Scoop, the fallout from infidelity rarely stops with the couple involved. When a parent cheats, children who are exposed to a parent’s affair often develop trust issues, lowered self-esteem, and behavioral changes such as withdrawal or acting out.
That lingering impact is why boundaries become so critical later on. Melissa Macomber, a parent infidelity specialist, explains that adult children of divorced parents, especially in cases involving betrayal, often need firm emotional boundaries to protect their mental health.
Research also clarifies why the father’s comparison struck such a nerve. According to Chadie, studies draw a clear line between isolated adolescent mistakes and long-term patterns of infidelity. Context, age, power dynamics, and duration all matter. A brief, remorseful teenage incident is not considered equivalent to years of deception in an adult relationship with shared responsibilities.
Netizens were appalled by the father’s manipulation and lack of accountability. They argued that she was well within her rights to refuse a role in a wedding that symbolized her family’s trauma. What do you think about this situation? Is refusing to be part of a wedding the same as “not respecting” a parent’s relationship? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens pointed out that a brief, remorseful teenage mistake is not even in the same universe as a calculated, years-long affair that dismantled a family
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