911 (or 999 in the UK) is the number you call when there’s an emergency. However, it turns out that people have very different definitions of “emergency.” For some, a fire, a car accident, or some other dangerous situation constitutes an urgent matter. For others, however, a kitten stuck in a tree seems like a reason to call emergency services.

911 dispatchers get about 240 million calls in the U.S. every year. Unfortunately, some of them take up the line for the stupidest reasons imaginable. In a recent online thread, one person asked, “911/999 dispatchers, what’s the dumbest reason someone has ever called emergency services?”

Some of the answers might make you wonder how these people are able to function in society at all, as it really takes a certain kind of person to dial 911 for things like locking their keys in a car, a man not holding the door for them, or checking which hockey team won the Olympic games.

#1

A man burned his foot on a George Foreman grill. He set it up next to his bedside so that he could wake up to the smell of fresh bacon… he jumped out of bed, stepped on it and it clasped around his foot. Terrible burns, some would even more serious than head trauma.

© Photo: PNW_Pinguino

#2

– Guy once called during a power outage to ask what the score of the USA vs Canada gold medal olympic game was. I’m Canadian. Obviously I told him.

– 14 year old called to complain that her mother took away her vodka and demanded it be returned. It was not returned.

– Tourist reported a bear crossed the highway about 100km outside the city. Yes sir, we live in the forest.

– Old man reported kids being loud in the playground. It was 2pm.

– American tourist complained that the fish in the lake weren’t biting and by god he paid a lot of money for this trip.

– Old lady called to complain that a random man didn’t hold the door open for her.

– Got yelled at once because no one turned on the northern lights.

© Photo: crathis

#3

Retired cop here. Woman used to call like 4 or 5 times a week because of a ghost in her attic. I was still in training at the time, and my training officer, an old, salty Sgt. who was hired the year I was born, was with me. He knew the address immediately and literally said “This is ending today.” and he directed me to pull into a Dollar General. He walks out with a mason jar that he bought.

We get to the home and we meet the lady. He tells her “we’re going to fix your ghost problem today!”. We go up, shuffle around a bit, and he lights a cigarette. Blows the smoke into the jar and puts the lid on.

We go back downstairs and he proudly shows her the jar. “We got him!” She was beaming. Never heard from her again.

© Photo: Guns_Donuts

#4

I was visiting my mother (age 96) and she reported me (age 68) to 911 as a missing child because I hadn’t gotten back by dark.

© Photo: LowellStewart

#5

I’m not 911 but I was managing a retail store and a customer asked me to call the police for them.

I inquired why what was going on.

They said they locked their keys in the car.

I told them we don’t need the police for that but I can look up a locksmith for them.

They insisted the police told them they would help if they locked their keys in their car.

I said ok well I guess I’ll look up their non emergency number since this isn’t a 911 event.

The customer says oh I have the police number saved in my phone.

They pull out their phone and start to look for the number in contacts.

It takes a while.

Finally find town name police. (For the town we are near but not in)

Click on it and reveal the saved number is 911.

They dial it themselves (why did they need my help?) and turn on speaker.

The operator asks what’s going on, they talk about the locked car, the operator says “ma’am you don’t call 911 for that”

The customer walks out of the store still on the phone.

Edit: Lots of comments about how sometimes polices do help with locked cars. That’s awesome. I didn’t know at the time and at least in our area you aren’t meant to call it in as an emergency.

© Photo: Littleblaze1

#6

Someone called to report their neighbors dropping pebbles into their lawn. Not rocks, pebbles. Into her pebbled driveway. Turns out it wasn’t happening and she had actually been harassing them for months and they had proof and she actually got arrested because it escalated so much that she attacked the cop.

© Photo: reineluxe

#7

When I was working dispatch, i literally had someone call the 911 emergence line saying “Im a tourist and bored in your town. I dont have enough money for a hotel either. What can you do?”

I was just like, “Sir… thats not an emergency”.

© Photo: GodofAeons

#8

I am not a dispatcher, but I have worked EMS and I’ve responded to a few frivolous calls.

I responded to a public toilet from which a bystander called 911 because there was an “unresponsive person” in the toilet stall. As it turns out, the guy in the toilet stall had diarrhea, and wasn’t unresponsive, he just didn’t feel like talking to some random person who was bothering him while he was pooping. He definitely did not want any assistance from EMS.

Edit: Real world emergencies exist where unresponsive people need ambulances, but I can guarantee you that in those situations, the person calling an ambulance probably asked, “do you need an ambulance?” before making the unilateral decision to call an ambulance. That didn’t happen for my call, the pooper had no idea that EMS was called. It was not a situation where someone was being helpful, they were being crazy.

© Photo: awful_astronaut

#9

Had a caller asking for a restaurant phone number in a different town. Wasn’t an elderly person so they got a lecture.

A lot of times you’ll get elderly calling to ask for stuff like the time; if they are confused its often a prompt for me to send LEOs just to do a welfare check on them if they sound really out of it.

© Photo: ThisistheHoneyBadger

#10

I help to run a small historic cemetery. A neighbor called the police on our landscaper because he was mowing the cemetery while Black.

I hate that neighbor.

© Photo: thefuzzybunny1

#11

So I placed the 911 call. I was young, I don’t remember how young. But, I hid under the porch swing and called 911 because my grandparents tried to get me to eat a hot dog

Edit: I was very young. No older than 5 and a half or 6 at the most.

© Photo: 20-percent-success

#12

God, so many.

3am call in the middle of nowhere (30 min response time for my poor, sleeping crew). Tooth pain for 2 years. When asked why he chose that exact moment to call, he “just felt like it was time”.

Working in a National Park. Woman called because a bull elk was “making sad noises” and was “separated from its group”. Had to delicately explain to her how elk mating season worked.

Woman called because her son had super glued his index fingers and thumbs together. During our whole conversation she’s laughing at him and verbally berating him. I thought this was kind of a terrible way to treat a child. I asked his age. Reddit, this man was 32 years old.

A man called because his friend got drunk and decided to wrestle a Javalina (Google it if you don’t know what it is, but think hybrid pig-rat). The Javalina won and ate his finger. While technically yes this is an emergency, it was a really dumb thing to do in the first place.

An elderly woman called because her TV broke and she couldn’t get a TV repair place to come after hours. She wanted the police to come out and fix it for her. She did not understand that police did not possess the skill set for this.

Also in the National Park. Midwestern white lady calls to report a “suspicious person” near one of the museums. Shockingly, her description of the suspicious person is darker skinned, and his suspicious behavior is “skulking around staring at people”. I give out the call to NPS LE, and the ranger (one of my favorite humans of all time) tells me to have her stay put so she can meet up with her. As it turns out, dude was Native American, and he was there helping set up for a cultural demonstration. He wasn’t staring at people, he was watching for his sister who was supposed to assist him. The LE ranger, again, one of my favorite humans of all time, read this lady the riot act, and gave her a verbal warning for harassment. I loved it. Park rangers don’t play.

And then of course, several Karens calling because fast food place/service place/hair salon didn’t do a thing to their standard.

© Photo: SJane3384

#13

Their KFC was cold. Same idiot called back 2 weeks later to say the KFC was out of wings.

Edit: I just remembered!

This genius called from a payphone (way back before cell phones were invented). He didn’t have money for the payphone but dialling 911 was free. He wanted to be put through to his friend, and since it was 2 AM and nothing was going on, I agreed to put him through, but I advised him to make it fast and that I would be staying on the line monitoring the call and if an emergency occurred I’d disconnect his call.

He agreed, and I put him through to his friend, genius number 2. I gave the same info to Genius 2 and he agreed, and then I listened as the two geniuses plotted to break into a shop so they could steal the safe. Genius 2 said that he was sending a truck over to help Genius 1 and to stay on the line until it got there – and then asked me if that was ok!

I said sure it was ok, because my partner had already dispatched police. The police decided to just wait a few blocks away until the truck arrived and the driver got out and then they moved in.

© Photo: Wherestheshoe

#14

Not 911, but work as an emergency helicopter dispatcher (911 will actually call us). People will occasionally look up our number and call us directly though.

One time a lady called asking me to make sure the check she mailed was received. At 11pm on a Saturday. When I told her I was in dispatch, not membership, she asked if I could “just go look in their desks to see if the envelope was there”. Ma’am I don’t have access to that department, and even if I did, I’m not going to rifle through someone’s desk!

© Photo: p0llyp0cketpussy

#15

Cows were mooing too loud.

© Photo: HyperHocusPocusFocus

#16

Not a dispatcher, but I remember one coming into our school to tell us the importance of using 911 correctly. Then told us stories about ridiculous calls. The one that stuck for some reason was a woman calling 911 to ask how long to cook a turkey on thanksgiving.

© Photo: Sixpntcrownroyal

#17

Not a dispatcher, but in 2018 KFC in the UK had massive supply problems for a week or so and the police had to issue a public statement for people to stop calling them about it, as they’d been receiving so many. .

© Photo: Bob_Leves

#18

We had someone call the other night because she saw lighting outside. During a rainstorm. Not close. Not a strike. Just cloud to cloud lighting. Through her window.

But that’s just the most recent one.

© Photo: mae1347

#19

There was a recording released in my state a couple months ago. Elderly woman couldn’t find her pulse. Her OWN pulse.

© Photo: Adventurous-Owl1295

#20

When my FIL was in the early stages of his dementia, before he was diagnosed, his hypochondria went into overdrive. He would call 911 for things like hangnails or an unpopped blister. He eventually was diagnosed with dementia, and he kept calling. The local 911 eventually put a flag on his number/address somehow to do extra screening with him before sending responders.

© Photo: othybear

#21

I’ve had a few folks call because the drive-thru closed before they thought it should, or because they were refused service for being a jerk and/or drunk.

You have your usual dementia-adjacent folks who are convinced random passers-by are out to get them.

My wife once called me at 911 because she thought someone was breaking into the house. She heard banging and scratching at the back door. Turns out an opossum had fallen into the recycle can we left by the back door for soda cans and couldn’t get out, causing it to bump up against the house.

#22

Not dispatch but ER. Had someone come in via ambo for head lice.

#23

My friend called 911 and asked them to mark his yard so he knew where to install a fence. He thought he called 811.

#24

Someone parked in her spot in front of her house. On a public street. Clearly a major emergency with life-threatening implications.

#25

My cousin retired as a Chicago 911 dispatcher and I asked her this question. A woman wanted paramedics because she had a hard booger stuck in her nose. 🤦🏻‍♀️.

#26

My mom was a dispatcher for a long time. She told me about a woman who would call multiple times a week about rats ‘stealing her garbage’. She was a hoarder. Very sad.

#27

Dumbest but also cutest was when my friend got dispatched to a call from a kid saying she had to go to jail for hurting her baby. She had accidentally popped the arm off her dolly. The operator asked for a parent and got a hang up, so they priority dispatched my friend to the call location as no one was picking up. Apparently the little girl was waiting on the stoop with her dolly when my friend showed up. Mom was mortified and didn’t know what happened as she was busy with her newborn and dad was busy fixing a clogged toilet. After fixing the dolly and saying that 911 was only for people emergencies and dolly emergencies are for mom and dad, my friend left with his partner and they dismissed the fines.

#28

The Town had recently installed a “Deer Crossing” sign to a major intersection. A woman called in to complain because people “fly down that road” and she did not think that was an appropriate place for the deer to cross.

#29

The regular at the bar I work at is nationally famous for calling 911 to report people driving down the wrong way of the interstate, only to realize mid call that he was actually the one driving the wrong way.

#30

* Person called 911 because an ATM ate their debit card. When I told them they would have to get in touch with the bank that the ATM belonged to in order to get assistance, the caller told me they would break into the ATM machine to get it back. I advised the caller that following this course of action would be a crime and that there was nothing the police could do to retrieve the card. The caller hung up on me. 2-3 minutes later I get a call from the grocery store in which the ATM was located stating that someone was kicking the ATM. Sent police…I don’t *think* the person got arrested but I honestly don’t remember.
* Customer calls because fast food order is incorrect (multiple times)
* Parent calls because their 7-8 year old won’t go to school (multiple times)

#31

Possibly dumb, but the dispatcher didn’t seem upset – a bat got into my apartment. Tried calling emergency maintenance and animal control multiple times with no response, and eventually couldn’t think of anything else to try, so called 911 and opened the conversation with “I’m sorry, this isn’t a very good emergency.” They sent over a cop who seemed kinda confused how he was supposed to help (which, fair). .

#32

Not a dispatcher, but when I was maybe 5 I called 911 to tell them that my doggy got run over and I was sad then hung up. My dad, who was in the shower, got out when they called back and asked to speak with him. I listened to him explain that yes, our dog got hit by a car, but it was over a year ago. I got a stern talking to about when you are to call 911 and how being sad about your old dog isn’t the time.

I’m sure the dispatchers got a chuckle out of it.

#33

911 hang up, with gps ping in the mountains. Send a full remote rescue response (helicopters, engines, the works). Lady never answers when we try to call back.

15 mins later she finally calls back and goes “oh, I just saw a helicopter flying by and was wondering what was going on”.

#34

I have a police/fire scanner at home and you’d be surprised at how many times a week people call because a stray dog or cat walks through their yard.

#35

Not 911 but security dispatch. Got a call from a woman who worked at an attorneys office. She wanted me to send security because she believed someone stole the chicken out of her salad when she wasnt looking and threatened to sue me when I said i wouldnt send anyone for that. Word got to my manager and he sent someone to take a fake report.

#36

My mom called 911 on me once because she asked me to get her something from the store and said she would pay me back when I got to her house. When I asked if she was going to pay me back she told me to get out and then called 911.

#37

I called 911 to talk to my dad when I was a kid. He was a firefighter.

#38

I was a night dispatcher during my college years. I guy, obviously drunk (first red flag), called in crying so hard he was hyperventilating, blubbering so bad I couldn’t understand him, but after a while I got him calmed down enough to get his story. He was driving on a dark highway (second red flag) and a UFO came blazing out of the sky and “tried to take me”. He was begging for police protection. So, I sent an officer to his location and he was arrested for DUI. That officer was convinced enough of his story to request a unit be sent out Highway 183 to investigate. Sure enough, there was a disabled small aircraft on the highway.

#39

My favorite is the one where the lady dialed in from a Wendy’s drive thru because they wouldn’t sell her a Whopper.

#40

One of my neighbors on my floor had an Amazon package stolen and was knocking on people’s doors asking tenants if they took it. She knocked on my door and despite my denial, she insisted on coming into my apartment to look around. I refused her request to search my apartment and she called 911, telling them I stole her package. I don’t think the dispatcher/police cared even if I actually did steal it because they told her they weren’t coming. Turns out neighbors package was delivered one floor below her unit lol.

#41

Their dog got neutered 7 years ago and they didn’t agree to it and wanted to report the vet for malpractice.

#42

I work in a home for the mentally ill. Folks calling 911 is pretty common and I know the local paramedics too well. One told me of the last time a particular person in the house called an ambulance:

He called claiming it extreme foot pain and insisted on going to the hospital. That part I saw. But the EMT said when they got to the hospital A car pulled up near where the ambulance unloads people to take them in. As soon as they open the back doors this guy jumped out and ran over to the car. Due to the traffic the car could not make a fast getaway and the EMT caught up with him only to learn that this was his brother driving on the car and they were going to go out and party. This is the only way he could get out of the mental health facility was by ambulance.

#43

Woman in town was confined to house arrest (with monitor) and couldn’t leave but ran out of cigarettes. wanted someone (a beat cop) to go get her a pack of camels. yes, it was an emergency!

#44

Someone called saying they had applied and wanted to know when they were going to hear back.
I said don’t wait by the phone.

#45

I got called for index finger bleed and same night 5 day infant bleeding. The index finger bleed was arterial and pt was on blood thinners. The 5 day old’s umbilical cord dropped off and mom was scared she broke her baby. The rest of night was easy at least.

#46

My mother-in-law, in a moment of panic, called 911 when her dog was having a seizure. She meant to call the vet instead. She IMMEDIATELY realized her mistake once the dispatcher stated that she had called 911.

The dog was ok, fortunately.

#47

Not a dispatcher but in recruitment for a police force. Someone turned up for their first day and couldn’t get through the front door due to not having their security pass yet…. Called 999 To be let in the building. We were then sent an angry email by the hiring manager due to them doing this.

#48

I had a parking attendant call about two guys on bikes riding around looking at cars and he thought it was suspicious.

I’ll give you one guess where my bike units were.

#49

I have a couple.

A vehicle was blocking a helicopter landing zone and the caller wanted us to know the driver of the vehicle was probably embarrassed when the firetruck honked their horn at them.

2 blocks from an active hostage situation, a caller wanted one of the officers to walk over and chase her neighbor’s chicken off her property.

Mid-December caller reporting a multi-colored fire along their neighbor’s gutters. It was Christmas lights.

#50

Duck being assaulted by another duck. It wasnt clear for at a few minutes that it was ducks.

#51

When I was 3 or 4 I called 911 to ask if my parents new phone was working. An officer came out to do a welfare check but ultimately was just there to teach me about when to call 911. The only number I knew was 911, so thats what I called.

#52

I once asked if a caller needed police, fire or ambulance and she said whichever one would get there fastest to run her over so she could get money.

#53

Woman called about a suspicious black man in her neighborhood. She insisted multiple times she knew everyone in her neighborhood and he had no right to be walking around.

He had lived a couple houses down for several years.

#54

Had a drunk dude call in because he couldn’t find his phone and was convinced it was stolen.

The phone he used to call 911.

#55

Not a dispatcher but someone had called 911 on me 3 times in one day because I was birdwatching. Apparently a dorky looking guy with binoculars looking in trees, which are the opposite direction of any nearby houses, meant I was “casing the neighborhood to rob people’s homes”. Cops arrived and laughed. Then again. The third time they joined me to watch some crows attacking a pair of hawks.

#56

A woman called because she got her period and needed a pad. Got a male call taker who got flustered and actually dropped a hemmorage call for EMS 🤦‍♀️.

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