Tired of the hogwash that inspirational quotes try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes’ mushy tone? Well then, you are absolutely not alone! For we, too, would rather twist an ankle than read another excerpt like that. Thus, we shall join our forces and our prowess for the unconventional and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we’ve gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any!
So, what should you expect from these demotivational quotes? Will they take your life force away from you with their contemptuous words? Or maybe they will rip all the joy out of your breath? Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in that very ironic way where your face makes a sneer and embers of amusement start to dance in your eyes. By and large, though, these snarky quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. But you, of course, already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to actually bring yourself down.
However, we should probably stop wasting our precious time with this gabble and skip straight to the real deal here – our wonderful, mesmerizing, and truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know very well by now, just an iota down below. Once you are there, do not forget to give these cool quotes your vote and share this article with your like-minded snarky friends.
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#1 Well, that explains a lot
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.” – Marion G. Harmon
#2 Bright ideas, loud surprises
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes
#3 Love you, but also fix yourself
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
#4 When Stupidity Goes Social
“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
#5 Tomorrow’s plot twist, guaranteed
“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”
#6 This Math Just Isn’t Adding Up
“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”
#7 Big Starts, Bigger Oops
“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”
#8 Holding Out Hope for Space
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein
#9 Disappointments You’ll Actually Want
“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”
#10 When Persistence Turns Stubborn
“If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a d**n fool about it.” – W.C. Fields
#11 Well, That Went Dark Fast
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
#12 Plot twist: same old start
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”
#13 Uniquely Pointless, Anyone?
“Just because you are unique doesn’t mean you are useful.”
#14 Work s***s? Welcome to the club.
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
#15 Leveling the Hate Game
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – W.C. Fields
#16 Uniquely Basic, Haven’t You Heard?
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
#17 Peak productivity, or just chaos?
“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”
#18 Galactic Oops Everyone’s Still Talking About
“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” – Douglas Adams
#19 Cold truth nobody admits
“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman
#20 God’s sense of humor is expensive
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” – Dorothy Parker
#21 Peak Life Hack Energy
“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”
#22 Catchy enough to cry over
“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”
#23 Failure Doesn’t Always Teach You
“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” – Dwight Schrute
#24 When Fate Doesn’t Take Your Order
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.” – Lemony Snicket
#25 Congrats, but where’s the love?
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” – Bette Midler
#26 Built to Break But Never Built Up
“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”
#27 Work in Progress Forever
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
#28 The struggle of doing nothing
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.”
#29 When “Good Job” Means Overtime
“The reward for good work is more work”. – Francesca Elisia
#30 Asking Level: Expertly Clueless
“There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots.”
#31 Bold Moves, Bigger Cringe
“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”
#32 Low-Key Weasels Win
“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” – John Benfield
#33 Not Buying Any Lemonade Today
“Raise your hand if you have had quite enough unsolicited advice about what should be done with any lemons that life may or may not give you.”
#34 And they’re already 10 steps ahead
“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”
#35 Ants: Tiny Flamethrowers Unbothered
“It’s only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.” – Harry Hill
#36 Friday Mood Activated
“Every day is Friday when you’re unemployed.”
#37 Unintentionally Hilarious Life Edition
“You’re naturally funny because your life is a joke.”
#38 Good luck out there, legend
“The meaning of life is to find your gift. So good luck with that.”
#39 Plot Twist: Failing Feels Like Progress
“Challenging yourself… is a good way to fail.” – Dom Mazzetti
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