Work Life Is Complicated, Here Are 70 “Unwritten Rules” That People Shared To Make It Clearer

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When you start a new job, it helps immensely if you have a veteran show you the ropes. It’s also a massive boon to your career if you can get your hands on a clear list of expectations the company has for you. But no matter the business, there are some subtle workplace rules that are practically universal and can fit nearly any industry—like avoiding trash-talking others, being polite to everyone, using up all of your vacation days, and keeping a paper trail.

One redditor turned to the r/LifeProTips online community’s members, asking them to share some of the most important unspoken rules in the workplace that everyone should know. We’ve collected the top ones that are bound to come in useful at your own jobs, Pandas. Scroll down to check them out and upvote the ones you agree with the most.

We were interested to learn more about the role that gossip plays at the office and what to do if someone’s talking about you behind your back, so we reached out to workplace expert Lynn Taylor for comment. According to her, gossiping at work can be a slippery slope. Taylor is the author of the book ‘Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant’ and runs a popular blog on Psychology Today. You’ll find our full interview with her as you read on.

#1

That person who tells you the most interesting “news” from around the office is the last person with whom you should discuss any of your personal business!

Image credits: IPauseForHurricanes

#2

If you see someone eating lunch by themselves quietly for the love of god don’t take it as an opportunity to talk their ear off. Lunch time is personal time.

Image credits: thesleepymermaid

#3

Always assume everything you say will be repeated to someone else, even when you’re on the phone in your office with no one else in there. Walls are thin. Don’t gossip, ever. That can make your work life miserable REALLY quickly.

Image credits: daniiiii555

Bored Panda wanted to know what the role of gossip in the workplace is and workplace expert Taylor was kind enough to shed some light on the topic. “On the one hand, you may pick up some insider information about the direction or status of the company or a department. On the other hand, the office is a very small, interconnected, and interpersonal entity. What you say can easily get back to the person you’re talking about,” she explained to us via email.

“Add to that the fact of gossip may not be fully based in reality. Gossip travels fast, but may not always be reliable. If you ever played the game, ‘telephone’ as a child, you know the original story never resembles itself by the time it’s passed along to the 10th person,” she warned. “The key is knowing how to discern potential valuable insight that directly relates to the business or your job… from personal gossip. The personal chatter can be a distraction or color how you view your coworkers.”

Taylor advises employees to take everything they hear with a grain of salt and not become part of the rumor mill themselves.

#4

Take all your vacation days.

Image credits: Pinkmongoose

#5

Write every email as if you were to read it out loud in court.

Image credits: WarOnWolves

#6

Always be about 10 or 20% less chatty than everyone else.

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The author of ‘Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant’ also shared some practical advice on how to “avoid becoming easy prey for office tattlers.” First of all, employees should ensure that they’re not part of the grapevine themselves. Next, they should keep a firm grip on what they talk about.

“Avoid sharing too much personal information with your officemates. If there is no ‘content’ available, then there is no gossip. You can still make friends at the office, but choose wisely—with people you trust.”

Meanwhile, if someone repeatedly talks about you behind your back, try having a conversation with them. Keep it frank but private. “Let them save face by telling them you doubt this rumor came from them—but that you needed to clear the air so it doesn’t go any further,” the workplace expert told Bored Panda.

#7

We are not actually a family.

Image credits: Morenoind5

#8

Don’t f*****g date anyone there.

Image credits: 90swasbest

#9

No 8:00 AM meetings or 4:00 PM meetings.

Image credits: jsakic99

“Of course, you run the risk that your diplomatic reprimand can be part of the rumor mill again. And that’s why it’s easier to mitigate office gossip about you with a little prevention. Hold your personal cards closely and try to avoid getting into the fray,” Taylor said.

“Oftentimes, the biggest office gossipers are looking for others with whom they can commiserate. You’re best served by remaining neutral. Try your best to stay in an observation versus participation mode.”

On the whole, gossip in the workplace is unavoidable. However, you can restrict how widespread it is and whether people focus on trash-talking others or have a more positive attitude on sharing information. According to SHRM, one of the dangers of gossip is that it erodes trust and morale in the office. It also leads to lots of wasted time and lower productivity.

Meanwhile, if employees know that someone gossips about everything and anything that they say and do, they might feel more anxious. What’s more, they might not know which rumors are true and which aren’t. Gossip can also end up hurting people’s feelings and reputations, and can lead to friction between colleagues. 

#10

Don’t reheat fish in the microwave

Image credits: easywind143

#11

Don’t send any bad news or criticising emails after 2pm on a Friday. The other person can’t do anything about it except worry all weekend, and that sucks. Save it for Monday

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#12

In 20 years your family will remember all the overtime you worked but nobody from the companies will.

Image credits: OwnBattle8805

However, Indeed points out there’s a difference between whether someone intends to spread gossip on purpose or simply exchanges information about the situation at work. Gossip can be positive if someone, say, compliments a coworker. On the flip side, gossip that is meant to exclude someone can contribute to a toxic workplace environment.

If you find out that you’re the subject of your coworkers’ gossip, you can politely ask them to stop. Try to keep calm and cool as you do this. If that doesn’t work and the malicious gossip continues to spread behind your back, talk to your manager and explain the situation to them. Alternatively, speak to your human resources rep—they probably have a lot of experience navigating interpersonal conflicts and can mediate the situation.

#13

Anonymous surveys aren’t anonymous.

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#14

If you didn’t cook it or buy it yourself, it ain’t your damn lunch!

Image credits: TheThirdRace

#15

Don’t give details about why you are sick or going on vacation when asking your manager for time off. They do not need to know in order to determine whether or not you can take the time off. People love judging if your time off is “worthy” so don’t give them the chance. You also can report a manager to HR if they deny sick time (at least in the US, I’ve seen people fired over this)

Image credits: J3llyDonut

It’s not all black and white, though. An expert in the psychology of gossiping, Elena Martinescu, a research associate at Vrije Universitetit Amsterdam, told BBC Worklife that she believes gossip is generally a good thing. “According to evolutionary theory, humans have developed gossip in order to facilitate co-operation in a group,” she said.

She states that gossip helps people understand “which colleagues one can trust and who one should be careful with.”

Meanwhile, management professor Matthew Feinberg, from the University of Toronto, told the BBC that most gossip is benign, though damaging forms of it certainly do exist. Moreover, management professor Shannon Taylor, from the University of Central Florida, pointed out that the main purpose of gossip is to help employees make sense of their environment.

#16

The real way to get a raise is to change companies

Image credits: Kevin-W

#17

Pizza is not a raise. Do not be bought out by pizza and think everything is okay

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#18

HR is not your friend. Source: I am HR.
I am not your friend, I sometimes would like to be, but it would be like a doctor dating patients. I view us as being on the same team and want to win together and am focused on how to help us all win. I am rare… again, HR is not your friend.

Image credits: Lurker4longtime

#19

Your energy and perception within the team are more important than actual performance..

nobody likes the pencil pusher, but people love the average but a fun person to be with

Image credits: Xavage1337

#20

Please don’t be that person that cuts your nails at your desk.

Image credits: mixed-beans

#21

Treat new hires with respect. One of them might end up your superior sooner than you know.

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#22

Don’t talk about work during lunch break. Give people (and yourself) some rest!

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#23

Please turn off the audio on your computer or leave headphones plugged into it. There is nothing more annoying than the constant pinging whenever your neighbour gets a new email come in.

Image credits: friedbean4

#24

Be nice to everyone, make friends with a few

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#25

If you notice an office culture of various people bringing snacks to share, like donuts or cupcakes, don’t be a mooch or piggy. Always taking and not contributing can make for hard feelings. Don’t take more than one until everyone has had some. Just because there are 5 varieties doesn’t mean you should take 1 of each.

Image credits: maninikine

#26

This might not be one, but always talk about salary with your coworkers, found out I was actually the one with highest pay compared to my coworkers, who had more experience, but the same workload as me.

Image credits: sincerefan2

#27

if you’re a woman, don’t bring treats in/set up lunches/throw parties and events unless the men are doing it too, or you’ll turn in to the office mom/caregiver and that hurts your career prospects. I followed this rule staunchly for a while, then gave in a few times, and now my boss comes to me for all of it, even though there are plenty of men on the team that could do it but don’t or won’t. Even after pointing out to my boss that he does this, and him realizing how that looks, he still defaults to me.

#28

If you work in an environment where you replace other workers (Eg a hospital), arrive on time. My time is just as important as yours. You might not think that arriving 2-3 minutes late is an issue, but I become irrationally angry when this happens. You’re taking MY time now…

#29

If everything is an emergency, then nothing is an emergency.

#30

Nobody is there because they want to be. Everyone has something or someone they’d rather be spending their time with. Everyone is just paying their bills and goes through the same motions you are. Be sensitive to everyone’s time and work.

#31

Do not talk ill of your coworkers to a coworker. Keep it to yourself, you don’t know if they’ll pass on the info

#32

Always drink two non alcoholic drinks before starting in with any alcohol at any work social functions. Give everyone else a head start so you never become the drama discussed the next day. Or don’t drink at all.

#33

My workplace rule is don’t ask Kevin about crop circles if you don’t want to be held hostage at his desk for an hour or so. We tell the new people but curiosity always wins out and they get given the 2 hour presentation about aliens during work time…. Why do we keep Kevin you ask. Because his the only guy that can fix certain things so it’s cheaper to just keep him happy and give him new victims to lecture to once and a while.

#34

Coworkers are not your friends. Be cordial, but keep your personal life to yourself. Those that gossip to you, will gossip about you

#35

On gossip: listen, but don’t share.

#36

Never assume somethings been done. Always ask the question, always double check.

Spending that 5 minutes extra and finding out the report has been sent, or that bolt has been tightened is always worth doing. Because if you assume and it hasn’t been done, that could spell disaster for you.

#37

If you’re coming into a new job, take a minute to soak everything in and watch the dynamic. Sometimes people have a flow. They come in, get their stuff done and leave with minimal contact. If you want to celebrate birthdays and get people together you might want to observe and see if people are into that before pushing for it. I for one don’t want to spend any more time with my coworkers, especially outside of work.

#38

If you are being trained for a position accept the training. If you act like you already know it all (even if you do) people won’t share the little things that may be unique to that situation that make things easier.

#39

Do not Reply All

#40

Get along with everyone/be a professional. Even if you can’t stand Janice 2 cubicles down you better be front and center with a huge smile singing happy birthday to her every year.

#41

The 9-3 rule is your friend. Also, don’t schedule meetings for a full hour. 45 minutes is enough, often too much. Meetings are like sharks. They will take up however much room you give them.

#42

Use all of the company benefits!! I have met so many people who don’t take advantage of the free stuff their company offers because they never read the benefit plan or perks page. You may find out your plan covers massages or that you get free gym memberships and subscriptions that you’d otherwise pay for yourself.

#43

Don’t smell.

Don’t smell bad obviously. Bathe. Deodorant. But also. Don’t smell too good. People don’t want to smell you. If you’re not leaning over my shoulder to show me something I should not smell anything. Your scent should not linger in my office after you leave, Emily. Same goes for your office. If I pick up your smell being in your office and it sticks to me I am annoyed. Small pieces of your smell adhered to my skin hair and clothing and go into my nose later and it’s gross and your fault.

Don’t smell.

#44

No one is a rock star and we’re not having a meeting in the war room. We sell software Carl.

#45

1. HR is there to protect the Company

2. Management never want staff discussing salaries because it allows them to pay folk less. If you can discuss salaries without it being ego driven and selfish… then your peers will make more.

3. Almost all walls and floors have ears. ..careful what you say to others.

4. If in corporates . . . Learn politics. .who to be close to and who not to…..when to do more and when to hold back and reject work….you will ascend much faster than if you just try to rise on merit and performance.

#46

Hygiene, but also avoid anything that leaves a strong scent on you. Some people are very sensitive to scent, and no one likes being trapped in a small space with a suffocating amount of perfume or cologne or body spray.

#47

You get paid to get on with your team mates. You don’t have to like them, but you have to try your best to get on with them.

#48

Don’t touch other people. You may be cool doing that to you’re friends but at a workplace that is a big no no and I’m surprised so many people still don’t know that. Also don’t steal people’s lunch in the fridge. Also don’t ever ask about their religion or politics.

#49

Use your inside voice. I don’t need to here your conversation from the other side of the building.

#50

Operate with the understanding that everyone is replaceable, even yourself. It may seem like some people are so ingrained in the process the company could not get by without them. Reality is if that person got hit by a bus, the company would be fine.

#51

Make sure the work that you have done get recognized

– edit a word

#52

If it’s in an email, it is evidence.

Also, don’t f*****g talk to me when I’m pissing at a urinal.

#53

The chatty self-proclaimed expert: knows nothing.

The one gen Xer that doesn’t talk to anyone, ever! Unless absolutely required: they know everything.

#54

Never ever comment on someone’s weight

#55

You don’t get to whistle in an office with other people.

#56

never show them your full potential because then thats their chance to go and over work you because “you’re good at it‘’

#57

Never, and I mean, ***NEVER***, trust someone (usually those who are considered as a senior in the organization), who says to you “if you have any complaints and/ or grudges you’d like to express about the company or the company leaderships, tell us. You can trust us to be on your side.”

I learned this the hard way; those who said you can trust them are those who you should trust the least in a company.

#58

Do not schedule meetings from noon till 1pm unless absolutely necessary

#59

Treat interns respectfully and never gig-gig-giggity with them.

#60

That most meetings could just be an email.

#61

Do NOT bring your dirty laundry(baggage) to work. I made this mistake during an incredibly rough time and though everyone has been cool, I can’t help but think people are pitying me and it seems they walk on eggshells around me. So yeah, at the door, leave your home coat on the rack, put on your work coat, and do your job.

#62

If you take the last coffee in the pot, BREW A NEW POT!

#63

Don’t rat on your co-workers

#64

Don’t tell your manager that you are depressed.

#65

Don’t ask about people’s personal lives unless they bring it up on their own

#66

Don’t touch other people’s food in the breakroom. It’s not yours, leave it alone you absolute savages.

#67

CYA. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.

had a phone call, follow up the minutes of that call via email.

If you can’t email a copy to yourself, have a burner phone and take a photo.

#68

Keep your phone on silent.

#69

Don’t dip your pen in the company ink

#70

Your coworkers are not your friends. It’s possible, but don’t just assume people will have your back and look out for you just because you’re friendly. People suck.

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