Being the other person in someone else’s relationship consensually is one thing, but being one without realizing it is a completely different one. You might think you’re in a perfect relationship only to find out that you’ve been actively participating in an affair without knowing it. This can be compared to being cheated on as the betrayal and pain are similar in both situations.
After this woman found out she was the other person, she felt crushed and didn’t really know what to do. So she turned to people online for advice, and they delivered.
Participating in an affair without knowing can be crushing
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As it happened to this woman, who turned online for advice on how to deal with it
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Image credits: Polina Zimmerman / Pexels (not the actual photo)
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Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Cheating person can go to great lengths to appear single when they aren’t
It might be hard to understand how a person gets involved in an affair without knowing. But all it takes is one lie to end up in such a situation. In scenarios like these a cheating person can go to great lengths to appear single when they aren’t. That’s how a person gets into a relationship with someone, and they have no idea that their new partner is taken, as they’ve been lying about it the whole time.
Interestingly enough, this happens more frequently than we might realize. One Bustle poll has found that 21% of those who have been the other person were completely unaware that their significant other wasn’t single.
When or if their lies come to light, being the other person without knowing can have a profound impact on a person, comparable to being cheated on.
“You are likely to feel betrayed, to lose trust in your partner, to feel taken advantage of, and to go into a protective mode that, ironically, is like that of the partner who’s been cheated on,” Dr. Josh Klapow, a clinical psychologist, told Bustle. “While the circumstance is not exactly the same, the emotional consequence has parallels.”
Klapov says it’s best to end such types of relationships the moment one realizes what’s going on. But even though the relationship was based on lies, the feelings of loss and betrayal are very real and don’t just magically disappear. Such an experience of finding out you’re the other person can follow someone for years.
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There are signs that give away a person is hiding another realationship
As we previously mentioned, a cheating person does their best to keep their other relationship a secret, so it can be hard to know if you’re the other partner. But luckily there are signs to look out for that might give away that a person is hiding another relationship. If any of these sound familiar, it might be that you’re not the only partner in their life.
One of the most telling signs is them being secretive, whether about family, friends, or their free time. They might be hesitant to open up and when they try to hide something about their personal life, they may get uncomfortable or change the subject quickly, which is a total red flag.
Another sign is them disappearing for long periods of time. They might be with their other partner during that time, which leads them to take a longer break between seeing you or answering your calls and text messages.
Additionally, they might be guarding their phone and avoiding showing what’s on it, as well as avoiding putting a label on your relationship and making excuses for why they can’t define what you’ve got going on. If they’re not fully invested in the relationship, it’s possible that you’re the other person in another relationship.
Lastly, if they seem too good to be true but don’t ever take you to meet their family and friends, this may be a red flag signalling that they’re distracting you from the fact that they’re cheating and at the same time trying to keep you a secret from people they know. No one deserves to be kept in the dark like this, so if you’re noticing these signs in your relationship, it might be time to seek the truth.
The commenters urged the woman to not believe the man’s lies and tell everything to his fiancée
Later, the woman returned to clarify some things
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