Having your family, partner or friends’ support is important. It’s crucial to have close people who you can talk to when hard times come, who you know will always listen and support you without judging and would put your needs and feelings first when needed. However, sometimes even our closest people tend to care about their wishes more than helping you in the hardest period of time.
One Reddit user shared his story online after he found out that his ex-wife has cancer and decided to be there for his son, postponing his holidays with his current girlfriend, who got mad about him prioritizing his ex-wife over her.
More info: Reddit
A booked and paid vacation is not the most important thing in life, but this man’s girlfriend puts it before his son’s well-being
Image credits: freestocks (not the actual photo)
He shares that he married his wife young, has a son and had an amicable divorce; during the school year, his son stays with him
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
However, not long ago, they found out that his ex-wife has cancer
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
He has saved and planned a vacation with his girlfriend, but with this situation, he wants to take time off to be there with his son
Image credits: [deleted]
But the issue is that his girlfriend is not happy about it and says that the man is prioritizing his ex-wife over her
A few days ago, a Reddit user shared his story online, asking community members if he is being a jerk for postponing his vacation with his girlfriend because his ex-wife has cancer and he wants to help and be there for his son during this hard time. The post received quite a lot of attention and in 3 days collected over 4K upvotes and 1.8K comments.
The author starts his story by explaining that he and his ex-wife divorced 6 years ago. They married young, but after 8 years, understood that it wasn’t working and to stay together in order to make their families happy wasn’t fair to them. He adds that he doesn’t blame her for anything and they had an amicable divorce. Now their son stays with him for a school year and for summers and holidays, goes to his mom.
However, OP’s ex-wife got diagnosed with cervical cancer last month and the survival rates aren’t great. Now, he adds that he had saved 2 weeks to go to Hawaii with his girlfriend this winter break, but with this situation, he wants to take these days to go with his son to visit his mom and be there for him. Another thing is that his son may have to stay with him for winter break, and he doesn’t want to go on vacation and leave his son alone.
The author says that his girlfriend is not happy about this as flights for their vacation have already been booked. He suggested to postpone the trip and to cover the fee that it would cost to change dates, but the GF thinks OP’s son should be able to be alone as he’s old enough. The woman accused the OP of choosing his ex-wife over her, not taking into account that he just wants to support and be there for his son during this difficult time, because losing a mom at any age is traumatic.
The author received the ‘Not the A-hole’ badge and support from people online, but they also discussed that his girlfriend shows red flags. “G.F is very uncaring. It costs nothing to show compassion and understanding. I hope OP sees that after,” one user wrote. “Imagine being a child and knowing that your dad is in Hawaii with his gf living the best of their life while you are alone with your dying mother,” another added.
Image credits: Nicole Geri (not the actual photo)
Now let’s talk a little bit about how we can support our loved one in hard times. While it’s clear that we always want to be there for people that we care about, sometimes we may feel helpless about what we can say or do to not make things even worse. High Country Behavioral Health shares some tips on how we can do that.
First and foremost, support them. Tell your loved one how much you care and that you are available to them. Respect their boundaries as well. Everybody approaches difficulties in a different way. While some people may rather keep things to themselves, others might want to share what they’re going through. Also, listen without judgment and don’t try to solve their problems.
People online highlighted OP’s girlfriend’s behavior as a red flag for her lack of support and empathy, so it’s important to note that according to Allo Health, emotional support is one of the key pillars to a healthy relationship. By providing emotional support, you show to your partner your commitment to their wellbeing and your willingness to stick by them through good times and bad.
It can also go a long way toward reducing their tension and worry. Your partner will feel more safe and be able to focus on other important things when they know they can rely on you to provide emotional support.
So this behavior from his girlfriend really doesn’t make OP feel better and make the decision easier. But anyway, what do you think about this situation? Were the girlfriend’s feelings valid or did the man want to do the right thing by being there for his son? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Redditors shared support to the author and shamed his girlfriend for her lack of empathy
The post Woman Accuses BF Of Putting His Dying Ex-Wife Before Her Because He Postponed Their Vacation first appeared on Bored Panda.
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