Picture this: you’ve met the man of your dreams, and as a bonus, his mom is lovely. The two of you get married, and suddenly, it’s like a switch was flicked. You now have a mother-in-law that can best be described as an “absolutely overwhelming and exhausting human.”
Those were the exact words one woman used when she sought help online in dealing with her husband’s mother. The pregnant woman says her MIL was a terrible mom to her husband as a child, and is now trying to overcompensate. The mother-in-law even went as far as praying that she’d have a grandson. The woman is so angry that she’s decided to keep the gender of her baby a secret – but her husband feels she’s being unfair.
She’s livid that her mother-in-law prayed for her to have a son
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Now that she’s pregnant, she refuses to tell her MIL the baby’s gender, but it’s causing huge problems in her marriage
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“It’s actually disturbing”: The woman gave more info when prompted by netizens
Many felt the husband needed professional help
The mom-to-be revealed that she’d decided to draw boundaries after the feedback she received
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Then she said that her mother-in-law had struck again!
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“You have a husband problem”: There was no shortage of advice for the woman
The woman revealed she was on her “last straw” and was fed up with her “delusional” husband
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People came forward to support the mom-to-be, and some had similar stories
Deal with your in-law issues before giving birth…
Once you have a baby, your in-laws are not just your in-laws anymore. They’re your child’s grandparents. This can be a good or bad thing depending on who your in-laws are and how they behave.
On the positive side, in-laws can provide a much-needed support system once the baby arrives. But you’ll need to see eye-to-eye in order for this to work. You can forget about smooth sailing if you’re already facing endless family drama.
That’s why boundaries are important. And experts advise setting them before the baby is born. The first step is to have an open, honest conversation with your partner. You’ll need to be on the same page so that you can present a united front.
Then decide what your boundaries will be… “These can be whatever you feel comfortable with, because remember: You’re the mom, so you make the rules,” advises Mom.com. “The in-law boundaries you set can be anything you want. How much do you want to share with them about your pregnancy? Start with what’s going on in the present, and go from there.”
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You should also discuss everyone’s expectations for when the baby arrives so that you aren’t dealing with issues while in labor. Make it clear who will be in the delivery room with you, when family can start visiting, etc.
“Giving birth is not a spectator sport; it’s a medical procedure,” notes the site. “If you’re not comfortable with your in-laws being in the room (or even in the hospital), you’re the one who makes that call, and your partner should back you up on this.”
Don’t forget to address other important issues, like who makes the birth announcement, whether you’re comfortable with photos being shared on social media, or anything else you feel strongly about.
“Set your boundaries, make them clear, and keep the lines of communication open from here on out. There will certainly be bumps in the road along the way, but hopefully, you’ll find that working for better in-law relationships and having that family support is well worth it,” notes the site.
“I think I’m done”: She provided another update after going to therapy
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