Many cultures have proverbs about respecting your elders. In theory, they’ve lived for longer, so they automatically have more experience, and with experience comes knowledge, right? Maybe some people would like to argue that wisdom doesn’t come from how old you are. Yet you can’t deny that people who have more years under their belt might have a different perspective on current trends and events.

Well, one netizen had the idea to ask older adults which current social norms and things they find strange. The user u/—–Diana—– wrote: “What’s socially normal now that you disagree with?” The people on r/AskOldPeople shared some things they’re not entirely on board with. And their answers are actually insightful, not the old-man-yells-at-cloud kind.

To know more about the ‘Grumpy Old People’ myth and why older people tend to disagree with modern social norms, Bored Panda reached out to Dr. Julie Erickson, a clinical psychologist and author of The Aging Well Workbook for Anxiety and Depression.

We also managed to have a conversation with the Redditor who started the discussion, u/—–Diana—–. The user from Romania was kind enough to tell us why she was curious about what older adults think of today’s social norms. Read both interviews below!

#1

Everything. I’m old. Get off my lawn.

Image credits: spyder_rico

It’s natural for people to have differing opinions. Sometimes, these opinions can differ because of age. And that’s completely normal, too. Clinical psychologist and author of The Aging Well Workbook for Anxiety and Depression, Dr. Julie Erickson, says that different generations commonly have conflicting views over norms, values, and beliefs.

“Each generation has ‘cohort beliefs,’ which are beliefs held by people born at a similar time period,” Dr. Erickson tells Bored Panda. “These beliefs are shaped by a variety of different social, political, cultural, environmental, technological, and economic factors of the time.”

But to say that “all elderly people hate technology” would be too simplistic and untrue. And, honestly, pretty ageist. There’s much more nuance to it than that. “It’s important to recognize that there is tremendous individual variability in the extent to which older adults accept new social norms,” Dr. Erickson observes. “Some older adults are quite capable of evolving their worldview. It’s an ageist assumption that older adults are stuck in their ways or more resistant to change.”

#2

The widespread inability to spell words correctly or use them properly ( e.g. Their , There , They’re ) and don’t get me started on grammar.

Image credits: Highway-Organic

#3

Our society being ok with total ignorance of science and some are even praised for it.

Image credits: Sufficient-Grand3746

The clinical psychologist says that some studies suggest the personality trait we call ‘agreeableness’ increases as people age. “That being said, as we get older, we tend to prefer what is familiar and personally meaningful,” she also notes. “This can make some people less open to new experiences or worldviews.”

When the world’s changing so fast and in so many ways, it can become harder and harder to keep up with current trends. And that includes not only knowing who the most popular celebrities are or what the latest fashion trend is. It’s more about things like what words or phrases might be inappropriate to use.

#4

Kids (and some adults, but I mostly see kids) with tablets or phones at full volume out in public. I have no interest in hearing other people’s games, videos, music or phone conversations.

Image credits: Amesaskew

#5

Being mad at me because I don’t automatically know your pronouns… Just tell me if I’m wrong in a nice way and I’ll adapt.

Image credits: BloopityBlue

#6

Me: Hey, how have you been?

Them: Haven’t you seen my posts on [social media platform]?

Me: I’m trying to have a conversation with you, not subscribe to your newsletter.

Image credits: Myrindyl

Some people grow more anxious as they age because they feel like the world might be leaving them behind. Dr. Erickson says that this is a concern for people who subscribe to the narrative that it’s all downhill from a certain age.

“We forget about everything we gain as we get older: wisdom, maturity, emotional stability, a clearly defined sense of self, not sweating the small stuff as much, and plenty of experience solving problems. It’s about finding a way to use these strengths in a changing world,” she explains.

#7

Its now socially normal to not use caps or punctuation so that your thoughts are all one single stream of consciousness and really hard to read like reading ulysses but the kids dont even know or care what that is because they just want to get their thoughts all out at once without any regard for the reader and the annoyance it is to try to figure out what they are saying Signed: A pained English major.

Image credits: ktappe

#8

I’m really not comfortable will all the ads for betting and sports book platforms.

Image credits: Flaxscript42

#9

Never saying NO not your child.

It sounds very «boomer» – I know.

But I have two kids born early 2000s and one child born 2015, and just wow how many more kids are brats now.

Don’t get me wrong, kids have always been kids and act out, but now they are more rude.

We have always had the whole class in kids birthday and it has always been insane and loud, but with my youngest class I just can’t do it.

Bored Panda also had a short chat with u/—–Diana—–, the author of this thread. “I got the idea for the question one morning when lying in bed,” the young Redditor tells us. The user shared how she lives in a Romanian village where a big portion of the population is over 50. “They have lots to complain about,” the Redditor chuckled.

#10

Since this is the Ask Old People category, I disagree with people being dismissive because I am old. I have at least one more sucker punch left in me for the next ‘ok boomer’ comment I get in person.

Image credits: MissHibernia

#11

Playing with your phone while in the presence of live conversation.

Image credits: aprehensivebad42

#12

Recording everything.

Recording fights. Recording car crashes. Recording traffic stops (your own or others) when cops have body cams and dash cams already. Recording people in the gym (yourself or others), recording in public and getting mad at pedestrians for ‘ruining the shot’.

Heck, people were even standing there like insane people recording the Super Bowl parade shooting. Like dude…LEAVE THE AREA OR HIDE. Don’t stand there drooling with a phone in your hand for internet clout or to sell it to the news.

Image credits: anon

The inspiration for the question came from a lady in her mid-70s, u/—–Diana—– tells us. She overheard the woman complaining about how her grandchildren were always on their phones. The Redditor then went to r/AskOldPeople to ask the older adults what things the younger generation does nowadays that bother them. “The answers there tend to be intriguing generally,” the user adds.

#13

Being around others while obviously sick. It’s been normalized because we have a garbage safety net that doesn’t allow people financially to take care of themselves and not make others sick. Or allow them to be off work to care for sick children. 40 years ago when unions were strong there were lots of sick days in lots of jobs and people mostly were able to stay home when really sick, in professional or union jobs anyway. There’s always been a segment of the working population that got screwed. But now more than ever we need generous sick leave policies in place for EVERYONE.

Image credits: Reneeisme

#14

Not being willing or able to just be superficially nice in social settings. Sometimes it’s *okay* to just be pleasant instead of making your unique and specific viewpoint heard.

Image credits: stealth_bohemian

#15

Basic manners. My gran must be affecting about 500 rpm in her grave, right about now.

u/—–Diana—– also told us that she’s heard her fair share of complaints about young people from her grandparents. “They’re both about to turn 70 years old this year,” she says. According to the Redditor, they like to talk about how the young generation is self-absorbed and how people became worse and worse after the demise of Nicolae Ceaușescu and the fall of the communist regime in Romania.

#16

I went for a walk at a park recently. There was a guy entering the trail while holding his phone out and talking into it. Everyone got to hear his c**p instead of the relaxing nature sounds. Isn’t he special?

#17

Children having access to social media.

I think nothing good comes of it.

I got other parent friends who have no issue with their kids scrolling tiktok, or being on whatsapp groups (I was an older mum, my kid is still primary school age).

(She says, acknowledging the irony of posting this on reddit).

Image credits: nettie_r

#18

A couple of things but the biggest one by far is the ear bud culture which just bleeds into a level of rudeness and isolation that’s unsettling. You might find small talk tedious but I promise you, the connection to the outside world that small talk creates is a gift to you. Humans aren’t meant to be so isolated.

As a parent I give a lot of rides. I can’t tell you how many teens have gotten into my car without even a simple hi or hello and sat there silently with their head in their phone and their ear pods in.

Say hi. Talk about the weather for a minute. It might be dumb but we are human and civility and connection matter. Otherwise all you’ve got is that phone and your ear buds. It’s kind of a bleak existence.

However, u/—–Diana—– agrees with some things the older people shared in this thread. She feels sad about how many young people of her generation seem to spend too much time on their phones and are not living in the moment. And while she thinks that the rise of loneliness might be imminent, she remains optimistic. All we need is some meaningful human contact, she says.

#19

Peak Cpitalism; the wealthy amassing even more wealth and not caring about a decent life for everybody.

#20

People posting their entire lives online. I’m probably excessively private but it’s really crazy how people are so willing and even eager to broadcast their personal lives to the world.

I don’t think people fully appreciate how possible it is to string together little details from multiple sources and form a detailed picture of someone’s life. That should scare people.

Image credits: PicoRascar

#21

The assumption that if you say one thing you automatically believe something else. For example if you say that we should look at tightening up our gun control laws, that automatically means you’re anti-gun and want to take away everybody’s guns.

#22

The way that men are starting to call women “females” but when referring to men they say “men”.

We are not lab specimens dude.

#23

Declarations of “body count” to dating partners. I don’t like the violent implication of the term, and I don’t like intimate history being tallied like a score.

Image credits: meddit_rod

#24

Texting instead of sitting down and having an actual conversation especially about difficult topics.

Image credits: Th3TruthIs0utTh3r3

#25

Emotional support dogs/pets pretending to be service dogs Dragging your dog every f-ing where. I love dogs,I foster dogs,I train dogs,I have 4 huge dogs….that don’t go shopping/to festivals/everywhere with me. Also letting your dog with c**p recall off leash and thinking that screaming he’s friendly makes it better. And not picking up your dogs s**t on hiking trails,that’s just rude and ignorant. And petting strangers dogs,um no keep your hands to yourself please Those disgusting long nails some women sport like little wearable petri dishes. Talking about politics,money or religion in every social setting. It was so much nicer when people realized that not every gathering needed to be bombarded with contentious subjects.

Image credits: WoodsColt

#26

Wearing pajamas and slippers to go shopping. People, if you can’t be bothered to put on fresh clothes, don’t go out in public. Also, do they then wear those pajamas to bed? Ew!

Image credits: catdoctor

#27

Tipping on everything. Especially with those iPads that spin around and awkwardly ask you for 10% because someone got you a muffin from behind the counter. Make it end.

Image credits: larryhood35

#28

I don’t get why it’s wrong to use punctuation when texting.

#29

Vaping in public really bothers me. I hated it when restaurants and bars were filled with cigarette smoke before 1990 (or whenever that changed). Now, I hate seeing people vaping everywhere I go. I see it at concerts, in bars, restaurants, grocery stores, the gas station — everywhere.

#30

Mine is that nobody is taught cursive anymore, and they surely can’t read it! My fdil’s little brother (19) couldn’t sign his name for his driver’s license and had to ask her to do it for him.

Image credits: Dangerous_Pattern_92

#31

That every white woman who complains is a Karen. Sometime it’s a legitimate complaint.
Calling someone a Karen on Social Media has become such a lazy comeback for when you don’t agree with someone who appears to be female online.

#32

Refusing to go one teenie tiny step outside your job description. If we all want to have a smooth work process sometimes you need to reach out to the other people involved in the process and work together to make things efficent.

Also, its no ones JOB to order more vacuum bags or sponges at work. If you see something that needs addressed for the good of the office, just f*****g do it.

This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.. lol.

#33

Interrupting someone while they’re talking.

Maybe it’s just me bc it’s a huge pet peeve but I feel like I’m constantly being interrupted or people are always talking over one another. When I politely say, “excuse me, I was in the middle of talking” or “hold on a sec please so I can finish what I was saying” I get looked at like I have 3 heads or like I’m totally out of line when I say something about it.

Again maybe it’s just me, but imo interrupting people mid sentence and talking over others is now for some reason socially acceptable – by both adults and kids no matter the setting – and I don’t get it. Now I feel like the abnormal one for thinking that’s it’s rude or for feeling slightly offended when someone does it to me. Tbh I literally physically cringe when I’m there and witness it happening to someone else while they’re talking lol. It’s wild to me.

#34

That elders deserve zero respect unless earned.

For some reason it is demanded that elders respect the every wish and desire of younger generations (pronoun choices for example), but I read constantly that elders deserve zero respect unless they earn it, and often distain unless they can prove their innocence. It’s a complete double standard. Even in many “ask” subreddits I will get aggressive and any responses like, “we’ve heard enough from your generation” usually calling be a ‘boomer’ even though I’m not. But there’s such hatred for older people that ‘boomer’ has become a standard put down for anyone over 40.

Image credits: Old-Man-of-the-Sea

#35

Politics being your entire identity. They did this to us on purpose to divide us.

#36

Constantly doing stuff on your phone. The gym had to put up little signs on all the weight machines asking people to give others a turn instead of just sitting there on their phones – and the place is still full of people sitting on the machines glued to their phones. The effect when you walk into a room like that is eerie.

I’m much more of a phone addict than I’d like to be, but I’m trying to be more mindful and not just automatically reach for it every time there’s a lull, whether between sets or waiting for an elevator or whatever. Practicing my lost art of just looking around and thinking my thoughts and tolerating boredom.

#37

The thought of if you can’t accept me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best.

#38

That the following are OK with a large swath of the population:

Shoplifting

Fighting

Shooting each other

Yelling

Using outdoor voices indoors and drawing everyone’s attention to you

Lack of customer service.

#39

My grandfather used to tell me that who you vote for is private. He and his wife never even shared with one another which candidate won their vote. I wish that was the case in modern times.

#40

Sharing every aspect of yours and also your children’s lives on social media.

#41

Yaknow…… I wish people still dressed up *a little* more. I dine at some seriously nice restaurants and it’s while overall I guess it’s OK if someone decides to dine there in a t-shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops but I gotta say it sorta reduces my own experience, especially if we’re celebrating a special occasion.

OK, I’ll stop being grumpy now.

Image credits: MrsChickenPam

#42

Ghosting people, both professionally and personally. This is only appropriate if you’re in a dangerous situation where your safety is at risk, otherwise it’s a cowardly and inconsiderate way to handle a situation. If you need to break away from any kind of relationship or commitment for any reason other than imminent danger, you need to tell the person(s) so they don’t waste time waiting on you or wondering what happened to you. It’s common courtesy, and ghosting shows a huge lack of consideration for everyone involved.

Image credits: Atheist_Alex_C

#43

Intentionally lying, then doubling down on it.

#44

Posting yourself naked online.

#45

Wearing headphones everywhere you go.

#46

Erectile dysfunction ads everywhere.

#47

Going no contact with anyone who moderately does anything you don’t like.

#48

I you work in customer service I expect you to acknowledge my existence and be polite. I don’t care how oppressed you feel because you’re “only” making $15/hour. I did the same job for $3.35/hour and managed to be professional. (And before you go off on my about the cost of living, my rent was $350/month at that time, meaning I had to work 105 hours to cover it. Sorry, Zoomers, but your generation isnt the first to experience poverty.).

Image credits: Rich-Air-5287

#49

Going up to veterans to thank them for their service. It’s not wrong, but my dad got very tired of it. He had to quit wearing his cap with his destroyer number on it.

#50

The idea that people aren’t grown-ups until their mid 20s, because their brains aren’t fully developed until then. Adulthood used to start at 18, then 21, then 22 after college, and now who knows when. You can enlist in the military at 17-18.

I apprenticed at 17, married at 21, had two kids by 25. My career, marriage, and kids all turned out fine.

#51

Mainstreaming/inclusivity. Kindness and humanity have to be taken to illogical extremes so that there is no chance of offending anyone different.

#52

I notice there’s some younger people who just don’t say hi at work. You should say hello to everyone you work with.

#53

I read a book last week about climate change migration, one section of which dealt with seasonal flooding in a Virginia neighborhood.

people would buy a house in the neighborhood not knowing it was flood-prone. then they’d get flooded and either rebuild and sell or rebuild and stay.

those who wanted to sell were apparently not required to tell prospective buyers that the house was in a flood area (but not officially on a flood map). so the seller has a dilemma: keep quiet and sell the house for as much as possible, or tell and watch the offers and price dry up. the author described the situation as the seller holding a lit stick of dynamite: seller has to time it just right so that he/she hands off the dynamite to a buyer before kaboom (another flood), or get kaboomied him/herself.

as i’m reading, i’m thinking: is this who we are now as Americans? we’ll just hand off the dynamite to the next guy and feel glad we escaped? we won’t even warn others that this is, ya know, dynamite? do we bear no responsibility to others?

i get that it’s a terribly difficult decision for those who got, all unknowingly, handed the dynamite themselves. the consequences of fessing up are pretty appalling and financially ruinous. i’m certainly glad i’m not one of those homeowners.

so that’s what is apparently socially normal now that i disagree with. you can hand a stick of dynamite to someone else knowing that it’s dynamite, but convincing them its a bunch of roses.

#54

I don’t disagree with it exactly but using the word “f**k” and some other choice words has gotten to be used in every other sentence. It’s coarse and boring.

#55

Not being able to work your way up at a company.

Corporations going right to layoffs as a form of saving money, instead of a last ditch effort to stay in business.

Companies being bought out and half the staff being let go, while those who remain take on more responsibility without a chance to negotiate higher pay.

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