Ruminating on the most trivial things, having a bad self-image, dreading failure, coping with social anxiety, continuously seeking reassurance – all of this is only a minor portion of what we call “insecurity.” It’s a universal part of the human condition, and while there’s no one-size-fits-all cause for this incredibly dreadful state, it’s safe to say that a fair share stems from trauma. 

But here’s the thing, insecurity is complex.

Sometimes you can tell that someone has poor self-esteem by their speech, mannerisms, and even their posture, in certain cases. But there are also those who excel at disguising it. So, are you curious to know about the signs of insecurity that are not as evident?

“What screams insecurity but most people don’t realize [it]?” – this internet user sought out one of Reddit’s most insightful and thought-provoking communities, asking its members to reveal obscure behavioral traits that indicate that someone lacks confidence. The thread managed to garner nearly 40K upvotes as well as 16.7K comments containing some intriguing answers.

More info: Reddit | Zara-Dee’s Instagram

#1

buying Twitter

Image credits: Theodorable47

Now, to find out more, Bored Panda decided to reach out to Zara-Dee, a professional who supports people in building confidence and trust from within, so they can be themselves, do what they want to do, and live life regret-free and on their terms.

“Our composition as a human is based on our values and beliefs and these begin to form in childhood. I believe it is the same for self-esteem. It is built upon learned experience and the relationship we have with ourselves. If we feed ourselves with unkind, negative thoughts from a place of insecurity, inevitably our self-esteem will suffer,” said Zara-Dee when we pondered why people struggle with self-confidence. 

We then questioned our expert on how to deal with insecurity: “You must first accept and acknowledge how you feel. Only when you recognize you are acting from a place of insecurity can you take steps to move forward. Challenge your internal dialogue and begin to show yourself some love and kindness. Focus on your strengths, qualities, and achievements, and begin to practice gratitude daily.”

#2

when they can give you s**t all day but can’t take it back whatsoever

Image credits: kittenslutbaby-999

The thread’s author, a 19-year-old college student, also offered his input.

“I’ve recently graduated from schooling and entered a university where I’m now moved in and staying with the other dorm students. Now that I’m facing new people, I’ve been constantly noticing them acting on their insecurity, so I was interested in knowing more about the way people act,” the netizen responded when we asked about the inspiration behind the post. 

BP then invited the fresher to answer his own question: “i) Talking bad about someone who’s better than them behind their back to feed their ego. ii) Always showing off their ‘cool things’ to get people’s attention and feel they’re better than others. iii) Buff dudes wearing tight shirts and posing near the girls. Yeah, it happens a lot here. As a buff dude myself, I’d say while dressing as one wishes is not bad at all, making one’s physical traits their whole personality screams insecurity, at least to me.”

#3

Ridiculing other people’s achievements

Image credits: queenofthegrapess

Well, now that we’ve tackled insecurity from a professional point of view, gone through the author’s commentary, and collectively agreed (right?) with the “buff dudes” remark – let’s finally move on to the article!

#4

Revving an engine in front of a bunch of strangers who could care less about cars or motorcycles

Image credits: Moist-Pool-5937

#5

When you achieve something or improve your life in any way, and their first instinct is to tease or make fun of you, it actually screams instant jealousy.

Image credits: timbuckley01

#6

Never apologizing

Some people will twist the story, change the way it happened and retell it so convincingly that they’ll believe their own nonsense but will never apologize

Image credits: SuvenPan

#7

Being a bully.

Image credits: ChenilleSocks

#8

Huge wedding. My sister and her husband spent $70k.

Divorced in 9 months.

Image credits: theMAJdragon

#9

1. Wearing massive designer logos such as Phillip Plein on everything

2. Bragging about money/girls

3. Lying about the smallest and meaningless things

4. Changing their views and principles based on who they speak to in the hope they’ll be liked

Image credits: Eyeswift

#10

In terms of leadership, it’s when someone can’t (or won’t) take input from the rest of their team and tries to act like they have all the answers. I was this type of insecure leader once and I thought that if I used the idea of someone with less experience then everyone would think I was a weak leader. But after I was removed from that position I had to work for a lot of managers who did a lot of the same stupid s**t that I was doing but magnified due to years of insecurity/habit/karma.

I have since learned that if I hear people out, discuss a course of action, go with other people’s ideas, and especially give them credit you gain exponentially more influence and respect. That even people who have little experience should have their input considered. I feel horrible for the people who had to work with me, but now I don’t just act like a more capable leader, I am a more capable leader.

Shakespearean TL;DR “Take every man’s censure, but reserve thy judgement.”

Image credits: poizunman206

#11

Insulting your friend in front of others to be cool.

Image credits: SuvenPan

#12

Taking a situation that was never about you or had you involved in it and somehow making it all about yourself and playing victim(even tho you had meddle in it and make yourself the” victim “)

Image credits: Professional-Exit754

#13

Mocking other people’s physical features or personal character traits.

We get it, you’re projecting.

Image credits: scientologyfan69

#14

When they can’t make fun of themselves

Edit: holy yes the opposite is just as bad I know. I’ve literally gotten that same comment about 100 times ? please stop redditors, my notifications can’t handle it

Image credits: gulaggremlin

#15

Posting pictures of yourself with tons of filters on

Image credits: SteveStSteve

#16

Being the funny one in a group at other’s (mostly the quiet ones) expense.

Image credits: FictionalReality7

#17

Selling NFTs of yourself.

Image credits: distractionfactory

#18

The incessant need to compare.

Image credits: Pretty-Benefit-233

#19

Insecurity can manifest in different ways and can be difficult to detect, as people often try to hide or cover up their insecurities. Some common behaviors or actions that may indicate insecurity include:

Seeking constant validation or reassurance: If a person constantly seeks validation or reassurance from others, it could be a sign that they are insecure and unsure of themselves.

Putting others down: People who are insecure may try to make themselves feel better by belittling or putting others down.

Overcompensating: Someone who is insecure may try to overcompensate by boasting or exaggerating their achievements or abilities.

Being overly critical of themselves or others: Insecurity can sometimes lead to excessively criticizing oneself or others.

Being overly defensive: If a person becomes defensive or reactive when their beliefs or actions are questioned, it could be a sign of insecurity.

It is important to remember that everyone experiences insecurity at some point in their lives, and it is a normal part of being human. However, it is important to address and work on insecurities healthily to promote personal growth and well-being.

/ai

Image credits: breakite

#20

Those handshakes that are firm to the point you wonder if they’re actually trying to hurt you

Image credits: bawdyloco

#21

Bragging and giving yourself titles

Image credits: iam4r33

#22

Trying to justify every “mistake”, usually its minimal, but once you notice someone that does it, you just cant stop noticing it when they do it

Image credits: benitocamelo11

#23

The three I always look out for are:

1. Overt displays of intelligence/prowess.
2. Belittling others.
3. A need to closely monitor the behaviour of others.

Image credits: Conway_Morning

#24

Obsessing over hierarchies, or who is ‘ahead’ and who is ‘behind’ in life.

Image credits: AdultMNTurtle

#25

Explaining how smart you are.

Image credits: NotReallyChaucer

#26

Not listening. Preparing the next smart thing to say without listening to what the other one is saying .

Image credits: DennisV1993

#27

People who wear ridiculous clothing on ridiculous prices just to show off they are well off financially. Usually young people.

Image credits: CarryTrain

#28

Being loud and domineering in every conversation.

Image credits: LucyVialli

#29

purposely waiting a long time to text back so you don’t seem “desperate”

Image credits: coconutflanflakes

#30

Being a workaholic.

Image credits: Suphred

#31

When they found a point that makes them look better than the other person and continue to overstay on that point.

Edit: The situation is subjective, and I’m talking about the situation whereby the person punches down on someone to make themselves feel good. I did not mean for a person who requires positive affirmations.

Image credits: the_far_yard

#32

When they can’t take constructive criticism

I dedicate this post to my ex girlfriend! Hope she can take constructive criticism now!

Image credits: HiFiiii

#33

“oh no Im not jealous like other girls, he can like and talk and watch other girls bodyparts, I’ll watch with him, it’s fun” girl you’re convincing yourself not me

Image credits: Vanessa_Aron

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