“My Husband Wants To Divorce Me If I Do Not Quit My Job”

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In relationships, just like politics or business, not all partnerships are created equally. Or, as is the case for Reddit user 194842, upheld fairly.

In a post on r/Marriage, the woman explained that she and her husband agreed that she would work until they had kids. However, not even a year had passed, and he started disapproving of her job.

Recently, this culminated in an ultimatum: either become a stay-at-home wife or I walk away. And the man sounds serious.

A happy life consists of different things for different people, but for this woman, her job was one of the main components

Woman looking distressed while receiving a wedding ring from a man, symbolizing divorce and job conflict.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

However, her husband decided to take it away from her

Text detailing a marital conflict over job demands and potential divorce ultimatum.

Text discussing a husband wanting a divorce if his spouse does not quit her job to become a stay-at-home wife.

Text describing marital issues over household chores and job-related divorce threat.

Text about balancing work and home duties, with marital pressure to quit job.

Text discussing conflict over quitting a job due to husband's financial non-support.

Text about financial control in a marriage related to divorce concerns.

Text about marital conflict over job concerns, expressing distress and unwillingness to resign.

Text discussing job impact on personal growth and marriage challenges.

Text pondering quitting job to save marriage dilemma.

Woman in a kitchen counting money, contemplating a decision about quitting her job.

Image credits: lazy_bear / freepik (not the actual photo)

Shortly after publishing her confession, the woman gave an update to provide more context for her situation

Text discussing pre-marital unemployment and caregiving before meeting husband related to job and divorce issue.

Text about starting a new job to cover wedding expenses, related to a divorce situation over job decisions.

Text discussing marital expectations and the husband's request for the wife to quit her job after marriage.

Text about marital discussion on quitting a job for two reasons.

Text expressing the importance of work for personal goals and mental well-being amid marital stress over job-related divorce threats.

Text discussing a husband's initial stubbornness about his wife's job and eventual agreement, highlighting financial independence.

Text about marital disagreement over job decisions related to a husband's divorce ultimatum.

Text expressing marital conflict over job-related issues.

Text about marital conflict and job-related issues with husband blaming wife.

Text about marital issues due to job and husband's late nights with friends.

Text discussing a marital conflict related to quitting a job, and the emotional aftermath.

Image credits: User_194842 

This story is an example of why women’s participation in the workforce diminishes as they enter committed relationships

Woman balancing work and motherhood at a home office, representing challenges in marriage and job decisions.

Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)

The arguments against married women working have a history of being personal, even on a broader socio-political level in Western democracies.

For example, in Wisconsin, lawmakers passed a resolution in 1935 stating that when married women with working husbands got jobs, they became the “calling card for disintegration of family life.”

The committee said, “The large number of husbands and wives working for the state raises a serious moral question, as this committee feels that the practice of birth control is encouraged, and the selfishness that arises from the income of employment of husband and wife bids fair to break down civilization and a healthy atmosphere.”

Nowadays, a study by UN Women and the International Labor Force, called ‘The Impact of Marriage and Children on Labour Market Participation,’ reveals that men still tend to have high labor force participation rates regardless of the type of household they live in. Thus, there is little variation in their participation rates (higher than 92 percent across all regions—except Oceania).

For women, on the other hand, labor force participation rates vary significantly, depending upon the household type they belong to. Generally, women in lone-person households have much higher participation rates (82 percent globally) than women in other types of households (64 percent in couple-only households, 49 percent in couple households with a child under six, and 41 percent in extended-family households with a child under six).

The presence of children reduces women’s labor force participation and increases men’s by similar proportions in percentage-point terms. This indicates that women’s realities are different from men’s, based on the type of household they live in.

Women give up their economic independence (mothers in families) or take on more economic responsibility (lone mothers) as household needs dictate. And while we can’t know for certain without the complete picture, since this couple didn’t have any children before the man started making his demands, it sounds like he was turning the Redditor into his dependent, whether he was doing it consciously or not.

The woman’s honesty has touched many people, and they were eager to express their support for her

Comment suggests prioritizing job over marriage in response to a divorce ultimatum.

Comment suggesting to keep the job and leave the husband, discussing divorce and job issues.

Comment advising against job-related divorce, urging empowerment and caution against control.

Anonymous comment discussing relationship advice related to quitting job and divorce.

Reddit comment discussing financial control and relationship advice involving divorce and job decisions.

Comment warning about emotional manipulation related to job and relationship issues.

Online comment about control in relationships and work decisions.

Comment advises not quitting job despite husband's divorce threat.

Comment suggesting prioritizing job over husband in divorce dilemma screenshot.

Online comment discussing job and divorce, emphasizing financial independence.

Text discussing the impact of quitting a job due to marital pressure, highlighting financial control and personal struggles.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing divorce and financial abuse advice related to a job.

Comment discussing divorce advice and financial independence for someone whose husband wants divorce if they don’t quit job.

Comment discussing birth control options in response to job-related marriage issues.

Comment about job related to potential divorce ultimatum.

Comment discussing divorce advice in an online forum.

Online discussion about a husband wanting a divorce unless his wife quits her job.

Comment on divorce advice related to quitting a job, emphasizing independence.

Comment about divorce advice, discussing economic implications of job choices.

Reddit comment discussing marital advice related to quitting a job.

Online comment discussing divorce advice related to job and dependency.

Online comment discussing relationship challenges related to quitting a job for a husband.

Comment discussing financial abuse and job-related marital issues.

Comment on financial abuse related to quitting job for husband, posted by user L0la_Silver one year ago.

Comment opposing divorce linked to job decision.

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