We all know it takes a village to raise children. Whether that means sharing carpool responsibilities with other parents in the neighborhood or volunteering to watch your nephews while your sister goes out on a date, it’s great to be part of a helpful community. But how much assistance are we allowed to expect from our loved ones?
One parent recently hopped on Reddit to vent about why they finally blocked a friend who expected them to be an on-call free babysitter. Below, you’ll find all of the details, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
It’s great for parents to have friends that can babysit for free from time to time
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But after one woman expected her friend to be constantly available, they finally decided to put their foot down
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Image credits: jamontooastb
Readers called out the mother for her bad behavior and provided suggestions for the friend
Later, the author returned with an update on the status of their friendship
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Image credits: jamontooastb
All parents will need a reliable babysitter at some point
Finding at least one reliable babysitter is a necessity for all parents with young children. Whether that’s Mom, a neighbor, a friend from church or a teenager from the neighborhood, all parents need time to go out without their children every now and then. According to Kidsit, most families will enlist the help of a babysitter once or twice a month, but of course, it might be even more often depending on the needs of the parents.
Babysitting usually isn’t cheap though. The average parents spend about $1,000 on babysitters every year, Kidsit reports, so it’s likely that they wouldn’t want to be out too often. That is, of course, unless they can find someone who will be willing to watch their kiddos for free. Whether or not it’s necessary to compensate a friend or family member for babysitting depends on many factors.
How often are you expecting them to be there? Did they volunteer, or did you have to call them up and ask for help? Are they struggling financially and in need of extra cash? Are they missing out on something else to be there? Did they have to travel? Scary Mommy notes on their site that it’s not necessarily required to pay loved ones, but it’s certainly important to make it clear that their efforts are appreciated.
Friends and family members often don’t expect compensation when they babysit
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You might prefer to buy them dinner, give them a gift card to their favorite shop, reimburse them for gas or pay for a day at their favorite salon instead of handing over cash. Plus, you’ll want to make their lives as easy as possible while babysitting, by providing food at home for your children and the babysitter, giving them activities to keep them busy and sticking to your word about what time you’ll be home at the end of the evening.
If they do feel comfortable accepting monetary payment, however, you might decide that that’s the best course of action. After all, if you had hired a professional babysitter for that time, you would have had to compensate them! But at the end of the day, every situation is different.
“If you’re thinking about asking family members about compensation for watching your kids, chances are they have thought about it too and have an answer ready for you,” etiquette expert Lizzie Post told Scary Mommy. “There’s no one situation that’s right for everyone.”
But it is key to make sure that you’re not taking advantage of a loved one by expecting them to drop everything or be available at all hours. According to Verywell Family, there are some pros and cons that need to be considered before asking a loved one to watch your children.
But it’s important not to take advantage of loved ones who help with childcare
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Although these arrangements might be convenient and free, and you likely trust your friends and family members to be around your kiddos, there can be some downsides too. On one hand, they might not actually be prepared to watch children. If they’re not CPR certified and familiar with important safety information to know when watching kids, they may not be the best people to be keeping an eye on your little ones.
Plus, it can be difficult to enforce your parenting style if they seem to have their own. When you’re paying a babysitter, it’s clear that your rules stand. But the lines can become blurred when it’s someone your children already know who’s just volunteering time to be there.
In the same vein, it’s common for resentments to build on both sides, Verywell Family notes. The parents might be frustrated every time their sitter isn’t available, while the babysitter might get annoyed if they feel like they’re starting to be taken advantage of. Either way, it’s usually simpler to just hire a babysitter and avoid all of the unnecessary drama between friends or relatives.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this friend was right to put their foot down and stop babysitting? Feel free to share, and then, you can find another Bored Panda piece discussing babysitting drama right here!
Readers shared their thoughts on the situation, and the friend joined in on the conversation
The post Mom Shames Friend For Refusing To Drop Everything And Babysit For Her Whenever She Wants first appeared on Bored Panda.
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