Infidelity automatically destroys any semblance of a once-harmonious relationship. It ruins the person who was cheated on, the people closest to them, and even some of those outside the inner circle.
It’s a sad state of affairs that this man had to face when his beloved mother-in-law had an affair. When he helped the woman during her time of need, his husband and brothers-in-law immediately took it as a sign of betrayal.
While he understands his spouse’s sentiments, he maintains he did nothing wrong by showing kindness. However, he wonders how he could move forward.
Infidelity is like a hurricane that destroys everyone in its path
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In this story, a woman ruined her relationship with her sons, which greatly affected her son-in-law
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Knowing he only acted out of kindness, the son-in-law sought advice from the internet on how to move forward
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A child’s high expectations of their parents may hinder forgiveness if one of them cheats
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The man’s brothers-in-law were understandably upset by their mother’s infidelity. But apart from the ruined family dynamics, their grievances were also likely because of their high expectations of her.
“Children assume that their parents should be adults and deal with marital frustrations in mature ways that do not include deceit and betrayal,” New York-based psychotherapist and educator Dr. Lawrence Josephs wrote in an article for Psychology Today.
Dr. Josephs further noted that children are “idealists” in the sense that they view their parents as “role models of mature adult behavior.” Because of this, being aware of a parent’s cheating and violation of a marital vow becomes disillusioning and difficult to come to terms with.
According to the author, his mother-in-law reached out to her sons, likely to try to make amends. However, it will likely take a long and grueling process before they even open themselves up to a proper conversation with her.
As Dr. Josephs states, betrayed children need to see actual changes that have withstood the test of time. And in order for this to happen, the erring parent must “eat humble pie.”
“The unfaithful parent must accept the punishment as well deserved and the loss of trust and respect as legitimate,” Dr. Josephs wrote.
Given these reasons, it is clear why the author’s husband and brothers-in-law harbored such resentment toward their mother and why they saw his actions as a form of betrayal. They expected a complete severing of ties from everyone, even from him.
Readers had varying opinions on the matter
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The man shared an update to his story
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Ultimately, he still feels torn on where to place himself, and ended his post with another question
People in the comments provided their answers
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