Telling your family no isn’t always easy, and setting boundaries with parents can sometimes make people feel guilty.
But there’s nothing wrong with being upfront about your feelings and needs, as it can tell people how to treat you.
A man turned to the Internet to ask if he was right in refusing his in-laws’ demand to move in with him and his wife in their new house.
He felt they were acting entitled especially after they refused to help with childcare they had previously committed to.
Read his story to see how their behavior made him lose his cool in the most sarcastic way.
Man says no to in-laws expecting to move into his new home
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He said his in-laws failed to support him and his wife in times of need
Image credits: Andrej Lišakov / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Collins Lesulie / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
His sarcastic but firm response left them shocked
Image credits: MBWill8809
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Backtracking on family commitments can create tension and resentment
Every empty nester has a different take on how they want to live their life after retirement. Some prefer to spend time with their grandchildren, some enjoy the peace of an empty house, while others go on vacations they’ve put off for years.
But as more households have both parents working, the expectation that grandparents will help take care of the kids is not unusual.
While it’s okay for grandparents to choose what’s best for them, clear communication from the beginning is the best way to avoid any family conflicts.
In this case, the man’s in-laws backtracked on their promise to babysit right before their daughter was supposed to join back work.
This not only put additional burden of caregiving on the working couple, it also caused a dent in their financial planning.
After all this, his in-laws’ assumption that they could move into the couple’s new house only added to the ongoing tension.
Image credits: Kindel Media / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Setting boundaries with family can prevent misunderstandings
Taking care of the elderly also comes with its own challenges — be it financial stress, health issues or managing time.
It’s part of the unpaid labor that some couples just don’t want to do, especially when they feel resentment towards their parents.
In this story, the issue wasn’t just the request to move in but the lack of respect — his in-laws didn’t have a proper conversation with him or their daughter, and assumed they would just move in.
It is also an example of how family relationships can be affected when support is given only when it’s convenient.
The in-laws promised to take care of the kids and then refused to show up at the last minute. But later, they seemed comfortable enough to demand support when they needed a place to live in.
It isn’t disrespectful or entitled if you set boundaries with in-laws and family members — it’s a form of self-care and also part of having a healthy relationship in the long run.
“Be clear about your needs and communicate them in a direct and assertive manner, leaving as little room for confusion or misinterpretation as possible,” says Dr Alexandra H Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist and author.
When you’re drawing a line, holding on to grudges can sometimes make you cross a line yourself.
In such cases, it’s good to communicate clearly about what’s bothering you if you don’t want to damage a relationship.
“Respect is the foundation for healthy relationships, including those between parents and adult children. It’s important to be respectful of each other’s opinions and beliefs, even if you don’t agree with them,” says Dr Suzanne Degges-White, a licensed counsellor and professor.
The man clarified some doubts and provided more context
Many people praised him for standing firm and prioritizing his family’s well-being
But some people said he was being entitled for expecting in-laws to help with childcare
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