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Fast cars, fancy suits, beautiful women, secret destinations, and covert operations. It’s all in a day’s work for the elite and mysterious beings that are called on to become spies. Or at least that’s what James Bond would like us to believe.

But if you’re hoping to join the CIA and live a life of luxury, you might be sorely disappointed. The reality, it seems, is far from what 007 and others have portrayed. In fact, you could find yourself driving a Prius, making an average salary, being deployed to warzones for months at a time, and wondering why your childhood dream of becoming the next 007 never saw the light of day.

A former Central Intelligence Case Officer has allowed the public a rare and authentic glimpse into his career, by inviting people online to ask him anything. Douglas Laux is the author of the memoir Left of Boom: How a Young CIA Case Officer Penetrated the Taliban and Al–Qaeda, and his Q&A clocked up more than 3,000 comments.

Bored Panda has put together the best questions and answers to set the record straight on what life in the CIA is really like. Spoiler alert: Hollywood has been lying to us.

Image credits: AgencyAgent

#1

A career in the CIA is often shrouded in mystery, leaving Hollywood and the rest of us mere mortals to come to our own conclusions about what it’s really like. And thanks to James Bond, the perception is that the clandestine creatures employed by the agency live a life of glamor and luxury.

One of the first thoughts I had after reading Douglas Laux’s Ask Me Anything was, “But how come he’s allowed to discuss all or any of this?” I, like many others, believed that CIA staff were supposed to take all of their secrets and their careers to the grave. Not necessarily, revealed the Central Intelligence Agency on its site…

In an effort to “remain as transparent as possible,” the CIA released some information that seeks to debunk the most common misconceptions people have about the agency.

“It may surprise some to discover that we are not the [weapon]-toting, globetrotting, martini-drinking spies frequently portrayed on the silver screen,” reads the site.

#2

#3

One of the things the CIA wants us to know is that those who work there are not spies or agents. Citizens who work for the CIA are officers, they say: “All employees, from case officers to analysts to librarians and public affairs, are considered CIA officers.”

Okay… so what is a CIA agent? Does such a thing exist? And if so, who are these mysterious beings? According to the CIA, case officers (like Douglas Laux) recruit well-placed human assets with access to information.

“These spies are agents,” reveals the agency. “They provide critical information about their country to help America. Case officers are CIA employees who spot, recruit, and handle foreign agents. They are experts in understanding human nature, emotions, intentions, and motivations.”

#4

#5

Unlike Laux, not all CIA employees are case officers and therefore, not all of them recruit and handle agents. The agency won’t reveal just how many case officers it has, noting that this is classified information. What it will reveal is that the variety of careers within the CIA is “similar” to that of a major corporation.

According to the agency, CIA officers work as analysts, scientists, engineers, economists, linguists, mathematicians, secretaries, accountants, computer specialists, inventors, developers, cartographers, museum curators, and the list goes on…

#6

And here’s the part we’ve been itching to know: Do all CIA officers live in secrecy and lie about what they do?

“While some officers do live undercover, many do not. And while some of us may be able to confirm that we work for the CIA, we may have to deny you details,” reveals the CIA’s official site.

It adds that for the majority of its officers, working at the CIA is “very similar” to working any other nine-to-five job, at least in terms of logistics and lifestyle.

#7

#8

“The work we do may be secret, but our lives aren’t,” says the CIA team. “We have kids and pets, we work out at the gym, watch movies, eat out, spend time with friends, and do volunteer work. We come from a variety of backgrounds and an array of educational expertise.”

According to them, they’re ordinary people with extraordinary responsibility. And they’re using their talents to protect American national security interests. You might also be surprised to know that the majority of CIA employees do not carry a weapon or are not issued one for work.

#9

#10

While James Bond has made a global name for himself, the CIA says the real men and women who carry out secret intelligence work don’t do it for fame or recognition.

“The officers of the CIA are guided by a professional ethos that includes Service — putting our Nation first, Agency before unit, and mission before self and Stewardship — protecting sources and methods from the moment we enter on duty until our last breath,” states the CIA’s site. “When adhering to these principles, there is no room for fame or recognition.”

#11

#12

#13

Going back to whether the CIA officers are allowed to speak about their careers, here’s the official word from the agency: “All CIA officers, as a condition of employment, sign the standard CIA secrecy agreement when entering on duty.”

However, it adds that a secrecy agreement does not oblige officers and contractors to absolute silence, but it does require them to keep national security secrets for as long as the US Government determines the information to be classified.

In short, CIA officers are allowed to share some aspects of their careers with the public. But a special Prepublication Classification Review Board (PCRB) will review any materials produced by CIA personnel before it is released – to determine if they contain any classified information.