Ah, Thanksgiving leftovers. It’s at least something to look forward to if you’ve spent hours sweating away in the kitchen to host an elaborate dinner for guests. A few meals sorted for the next few days, meaning you can finally relax and not worry about cooking.
That’s exactly what one couple thought when they hosted 30 people last week. The husband says they spent $1,500 on the feast, which included turkeys, turducken, ham, prime ribs, seafood, appetizers and sides. Imagine their horror when they realized their leftovers were gone. It turns out an entitled mother-in-law had taken it upon herself to give everything away to the guests – without bothering to ask first!
Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for 30 people is no joke, but at least there are the leftovers to look forward to…
Image credits: guillemd (not the actual image)
Or not, if your entitled MIL decides to give ALL the food away – without asking
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual image)
Image credits: A_Dark_Song_
It turns out this is not the first time the MIL has ruffled the couple’s feathers
So what’s the deal with leftovers? Do they stay or do they go?
Many etiquette experts agree that under no circumstances should you just help yourself to leftovers without asking the hosts first. And when it comes to hosting, they say that while offering leftovers to guests is generous, you’re not obligated to do so.
“You should never, ever take other people’s leftovers home without the express encouragement of both your host and the contributor,” warns food site Southern Living. “Shoveling scoops of other guests’ leftover dishes onto your own to-go plate is a no-go. You are not a raccoon.”
But what if you brought a dish to the gathering and there’s some left over? Hate to break it to you, but it’s still a no-go.
“When you show up to an acquaintance’s dinner party, a friend’s holiday potluck, or a church luncheon, it’s generally assumed that your contribution is offered with no expectations of getting whatever is in that dish back,” notes the site, adding that leftovers should be left behind.
The team over at Food Republic agrees… They say even if it was a “Bring-Your-Own” gathering, the host has likely contributed their own food and drinks too. And they’ve put time and effort into cleaning and decorating. Whatever food you brought should be considered as compensation for their hard work and hospitality.
“Asking for your food back is rude,” warns Anna Goldfarb on food site, The Kitchn. “I know it can seem like you’re doing a favor — ‘Here, let me take that off your hands’ — but it can come across as being stingy.”
When in doubt, leave your leftovers behind. However, Food Republic’s experts say there are some exceptions to the unwritten rule.
“One is if the host insists,” reveals the site. “For example, at a potluck where an abundance of food is brought, the host may end the night by offering to pack Tupperware for guests. In this case, it’s courteous to take some leftovers, while ensuring there’s enough for others who may want them.”
They add that if you brought food in your own dishes, it’s polite to ask the host if they’d like you to package the leftovers for them to keep. “There’s always the chance they’ll politely decline and insist that you take the leftovers home,” notes Food Republic.
Another time it might be okay to leave a party with food is if you know it’s something your host, or their family, won’t/can’t touch or eat.
“If your host is a strict vegetarian and you brought your famous spicy meatball recipe — or if your host doesn’t drink, and the half-full bottle of wine you brought will be left to go sour on their counter — you might politely ask if they’d like you to take these items off their hands,” suggest the experts, adding that you should only do this if the host is someone you’re close to – and you’re a hundred percent sure it’s appropriate.
So how do you protect your leftovers if you’re hosting? Say it like it is, is what the experts advise.
“Honesty is your best policy,” notes The Kitchn. “If your guest asks to take home your turkey carcass, the one you’ve been looking forward to turning into velvety stock all week, tell them, respectfully, that you’d prefer if they didn’t. If they insist, you may have to yield, but make note (and maybe don’t invite them next year).”
The other option is to put any leftover food away quickly before anyone gets up from the table at the end of the meal. “Shove bowls and plates into microwaves and empty ovens! If the food’s out of sight, then guests are less likely to ask for it if they meander into your kitchen,” says Goldfarb.
Of course, this might not work if you have an entitled mother-in-law intent on handing out your leftovers to all and sundry.
Many agreed that the MIL was out of line, and some even felt she should be banned from future gatherings
A shocking number of people had similar stories to tell
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