A canon event is a transformative moment that redefines you as a person. It can range from heartbreak to triumph—the loss of a loved one, a promise to get sober, or landing a dream job. Reddit user MisterBigDude asked the platform to share what divided their lives into a clear “before” and “after.”
The answers painted a vivid spectrum of human experience, showing that we’re both similar and different, each on our own path. We never truly know what lies ahead and must keep learning and striving. It sounds banal, but what is there to guide us through the ups and downs if not perseverance?
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#1
Sobriety at age thirty-two. I turn seventy-two in two months.
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#2
Living what I thought was a great existence. Happily settled, steady jobs, good friends. Savings. Decent cars. Wonderful son, and another on the way. A week away from getting married. All the families are happy.
Found out my partner had been cheating on me for years with multiple women (his job as a police officer allowed ample opportunity for f*****g badge bangers and for believable overtime).
Single mum life. Moved over 1000km away to go back to my parents. Living on welfare. No savings. A car issue/pet issue/health issue away from total disaster. No sleep. Not many friends. No job. Raised the newborn on my own.
Scary how life can totally upend in a morning.
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We got in touch with MisterBigDude and he was kind enough to tell us more about the roots of his now-viral post.
“At home one day, I was planning a trip and thinking about how it would be difficult (as all travel is) because of a physical issue I developed in my 20s,” the Redditor told Bored Panda.
“That made me ponder how different my life was before and after that issue. I suddenly thought it would be interesting to hear from other people about events that had substantially changed their lives. So I wrote a quick post.”
#3
Having a traumatic brain injury (TBI). One moment I was me, then suddenly, was robbed of my own soul. Ruined my hopes, dreams, and motivation at age 26 in a mountain biking accident. 43, alone, and miserable now. Wear your helmets, though, folks. I’d be a complete vegetable had I not.
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#4
Before bariatric surgery i was almost 400lbs and in constant pain from my spinal arthritis. Couldn’t walk more than a few feet before I started hurting. After bariatric surgery (and some physical therapy) im now 170ish and im still in constant pain from my spinal arthritis but its significantly less than before and takes a lot longer to build up to intolerable levels. I have a full time job again and i go hiking now.
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MisterBigDude said, “Since r/AskReddit gets a ton of posts, I figured few people would see mine. I was shocked that thousands of responses poured in, and I continued receiving them more than a week after my post!”
“Of course, many of the posters wrote about deaths of loved ones. It was heartbreaking to read those entries. (I am in that category too, as my life changed a lot when my father passed away.) Health problems and relationship breakups were also among the most common topics of responses to my post.”
#5
My parents are wealthy boomers.
I had just had my first son, was working long hours at a car dealership and my wife was working as well. My parents never gave me anything. We had incurred some credit card debt, about 3k that was destroying me, I hated owing money. I asked my dad for some help (drop in the well for them) and he coldly said “no” and basically said figure it out. Over a couple years the debt increased because we were trying to survive.
I took a job across the country, pulled my family out of everything and we are thriving. All without their help.
They always quip that they never get to see their grand kids, well, sorry about it.
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#6
9/11/01. I was supposed to have been in the North Tower that morning. My 17 colleagues all died. Biz mtg was cancelled the night before, inexplicably…. .
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It can be tough to deal with the curve balls life throws at you. So, the global polling organization Gallup Inc. has been asking people how they are feeling for the past 18 years with its Global Emotions poll—and the good thing is that in 2024, the answer is a little less bleak than before.
The researchers surveyed more than 146,000 individuals aged 15 years and older in 142 countries about their positive and negative experiences over the previous 24 hours, and then gave each country four scores on a scale of zero to 100: two scores for how present or lacking their positive experiences were, and two more corresponding to the prevalence of their negative experiences.
Overall, the results point to a world that, despite its many worries, is more content than fretful. Global stress levels were recorded at 37%—the lowest since 2019.
#7
I have two events really, but I’ll just mention the big one.
In junior year of college, when I was 20/21, I developed very unusual symptoms of insomnia, intense muscle soreness, slow movement, and a shaking right hand. After months of seeing different specialists, testing different medications to see if they helped, and finally a lumbar puncture, I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.
This fundamentally changed my life moving forward. I finished college and went to grad school immediately afterwards, but the fallout of the emotions and intense feelings of isolation caused me to leave. I later worked as a research tech for 4 years, and finished my PhD last year after 5.5 years of doing grad school again. I achieved that goal.
It’s been almost 13 years now, and I can’t say that any day since I started showing symptoms has been a “good” one compared to before. I have to deliberately move my feet and hands so as to not drag them, trip, or drop or spill something. I’ve gotten very good at it, but it’s exhausting. Everything is day-to-day. It’s also psychologically isolating, since almost nobody can truly understand or relate, while it’s also ended relationships when I told them about it.
But I try to keep positive, and look forward to something better coming in life.
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#8
My second marriage. It was like I had been sleepwalking for 50 years until I met my wife. I can’t imagine life without her.
Edit: I’d like to thank everyone for your comments. I showed them to my wife, and she was very moved. She said that I am the most precious thing she has in her life, and now I’m crying. ❤️.
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40% of adults reported feeling a lot of worry; 30% reported physical pain; 26% said they were sad, and 22% were angry. But the positive metrics were higher. The overall negative experience index fell from 33 last year to 31—the same level it was before the pandemic. Over the day prior to the survey, 85% of respondents said they had been treated with respect; 71% said they were well-rested; 73% said they had felt a lot of enjoyment or had smiled and laughed; and 54% said they had done something interesting.
#9
Starting at a alternative high school a month into my freshman year. It was a therapy intensive school and I’m telling you I’d be in JAIL if I hadn’t gone there. They saved my life.
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#10
My best friend taking their life.
We were both 17 when he decided that he had enough of life. I spoke to him the day prior while my family and I were on a road trip to see him and other family. He came from the foster care system, and knew that when he turned 18 the next month, he would be homeless. What he didn’t know, and something that still haunts me, was part of the reason we we’re coming to visit was because my parents wanted to adopt him… I didn’t tell him on that phone call, because I wanted to surprise him.
He took his life the next day, early in the morning. We arrived at 11:43am.. we saw the police and mortician at his foster moms home. She told us what happened. They didn’t let me see him.
That was 14 years ago. I still wonder if things would’ve been different, if I would’ve just told him that we wanted him to be part of our family.
Ever since then, while I have many friends, I have never had a best friend again.
That was the day that I lost my rose colored glasses.
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“It is hard to say what helps people navigate such transformations,” the author of the Reddit post said about the replies. “Many of the respondents were obviously still struggling to handle the effects of those big life events. I wish I did have magic advice that could bring them peace, but anything I could say would sound like an empty platitude. Everyone grieves and heals in their own way, on their own time.”
“I feel that my post did give many people a chance to work through some of their grief by writing about it and sharing it, even for an audience of internet strangers—some of whom wrote very supportive replies to those posts. That’s one example of the positive potential of social media,” he added.
#11
We’ll have to see, but it might well be this semester’s papers turned in by students. I teach writing at the university level, and the papers were SO awful and so many students SO apathetic that I just can’t even imagine doing this job anymore.
I can point to one single paper that broke me.
I actually had a real breakdown and spent last week in a crisis stabilization unit. It is TERRIFYING to watch education ebb like this, and to see students not participating in their own lives. I do not expect people to love writing, but at least be *present* in your own head! The entire system is dumbing down, which means that the American people are dumbing down too.
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#12
My son developing a terminal disease that we had no idea about.
He just turned 3, but the last year and a half has been a ride we never knew we would be on. Up until almost 2, he developed normally and was just the happiest little boy. In early 2021, he was diagnosed with a rare terminal genetic disease called Krabbe Disease after losing all of his abilities like walking, crawling, and even sitting up on his own in a matter of weeks out of nowhere. We ended up at the children’s hospital of Pittsburgh to try to get him a stem cell transplant to prolong his life. They told us that without it, he would pass away by the end of the year, but if he got it, he may never be able to move or possibly even breathe on his own. That was the most stressful 24 hours of my life. He has gotten the transplant, can still somewhat move his arms and legs, and has the greatest smile you’ll ever see, and he knows he is loved so much. We tried to get him in a gene therapy clinical trial, but he had an antibody that excluded him. Now, we are just hoping for a miracle to happen.
He has a page called Prayers for Arthur, hope for a cure that we use to spread awareness and celebrate his life ♥️.
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When it comes to practical advice, Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, Ph.D., N.C.C., D.C.M.H.S., L.M.H.C., the author of Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People—and Break Free, suggests these ten ways to cope with big changes:
- Acknowledge that things are changing;
- Realize that even good change can cause stress;
- Keep up your regular schedule as much as possible;
- Try to eat as healthily as possible;
- Exercise;
- Seek support;
- Write down the positives that have come from this change;
- Get proactive and work preventatively;
- Vent, but to a point;
- Back away from social media.
#13
Getting hit by a car.
Woke up in the hospital a month later with casts on my legs, many fractures, and a damaged brain. Spent most of a year in a brain injury rehab hospital, fortunately recovered well, and returned to my life.
Though it was a bit different.
That was almost 18 years ago. So far, so good.
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#14
Senior year of high school.
Nobody cares about what happened to me, but I will be brief and say it dramatically scarred me. I have not been the same man since, I have not forgiven the perpetrators, and I will definitely say that it is the “before” and “after” Time of my life, between being happy and be miserable.
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#15
The Navy. I was 19 and a dumb when I joined. I was 40 and a different kind of dumb when I left.
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#16
My cancer diagnosis.
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#17
When my life completely imploded and in the span of 3 months I went from married with a cool job to separated, jobless, homeless, with skin cancer. Everything changed and I’m NOT that guy I was before that time.
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#18
An autoimmune disease. An incurable debilitating disease. I was 32.
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#19
Having kids. It’s such a change from being a 20 something to be responsible for someone else that is so helpless.
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#20
Breakdown caused by OCD in 2021 that left me actively planning my end. Almost went through with it but my parents surprised me with a puppy, and that puppy saved my life. In a much better, stable place now with that puppy still by my side, but I’ll never be the same ever again. No one really tells you that – that you might survive the attempt (or near attempt) but something in you ***still*** dies, and that part of you is just carried with you for the rest of your time, like a scar on your heart (or brain, whatever).
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