“AITA For Not Getting My Ex’s Affair Child A Christmas Gift?”

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Infidelity can destroy entire families. When your partner cheats on you, it’s not just you who gets hurt. If you had children together, the fallout can affect them, too. Meanwhile, if your ex had any kids outside your marriage, then it could complicate any interactions with them even further. That being said, it’s no child’s ‘fault’ that they were born because someone cheated.

An anonymous woman, a mother of three, went viral after asking the AITAH online community for help regarding a very sensitive situation. She explained how her ex-husband tried to guilt-trip her into buying gifts for his “affair child” daughter. Then, when she refused, he lashed out. You’ll find the full story as you scroll down. Bored Panda has reached out to the author for further comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.

Co-parenting can be incredibly difficult with an ex who cheated on you. Boundaries are essential, no matter what

Child sitting on rug with adults arguing in the background, highlighting family tension and dynamics.

Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

An anonymous woman shared how she refused to buy her husband’s “affair child” an Xmas present, and how this made him lash out

Text reads about not buying a gift for an ex\'s affair child, with details of custody and child support issues.

Text about custody issues related to an affair child\'s Christmas gift.

Text discussing a parent\'s view on relationships with an ex\'s affair child.

Text discussing absence and relationship with ex\'s affair child after divorce.

Text about ex\'s job loss affecting child support payments.

Text discussing financial struggles affecting gift-giving, mentioning a small Christmas gift due to job change and pay cut.

Text about family dynamics and financial struggles regarding a child from an affair.

Text about a co-parenting conversation involving gifts for an affair child during Christmas.

Text snippet discussing feelings about not getting a Christmas gift for an ex\'s affair child.

Text expressing boundary with ex-partner regarding Christmas gifts for children.

Text discussing a dollar store gift for a four-year-old daughter, referring to an affair child and the context of Christmas gifts.

Text from a discussion about gifts for an ex\'s affair child, highlighting family dynamics and personal choices.

Text discussing not buying a Christmas gift for an ex\'s child, highlighting themes of abandonment and compassion.

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Image credits: volodymyr-t / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Text from a story discussing not buying a Christmas gift for an ex\'s affair child.

Text questioning not getting a Christmas gift for ex\'s affair child.

Image credits: NovelDot112

Losing your job is very stressful, but there are solutions if you’re struggling, from temporary work to charity

The woman’s story went viral on the AITAH subreddit. At the time of writing, it had 11k upvotes and got a whopping 5.4k comments. Later, the story spread to other corners of the internet.

Most internet users who read the woman’s post were very supportive of her and how she handled the entire situation. They thought it was unfair of her cheating ex-husband to blame her for his own financial shortcomings.

Many readers pointed out that if money is tight, the man could have gotten temporary work to save up at least some money for Xmas. Others noted that desperate parents can also reach out to local charities for support.

In short, there are always plenty of options for parents in need, but it requires them to set their pride aside. Accepting charity, whether from an organization or the local community, can be difficult. But if your goal is for your child to have a wholesome Christmas celebration, then that should be the priority, not how you feel about the situation.

It’s also obvious that it’s not fair for anyone to blame their ex for their own financial problems. Losing your job is tough. It’s one of the most stressful things that can happen to anyone. And it can be even tougher when you’re a single parent with a small child to look after.

If you’re struggling to find a new job, you may need to develop new skills in order to change career paths

It’s difficult to get out of a situation like that but not impossible. The author mentioned that her ex lost his job in January, meaning that he’s been jobless for nearly a year. This indicates that he might be working in an industry that’s struggling or that he’s not putting in ‘enough’ effort into the job search.

This is easier said than done. Changing jobs is hard. But if you can’t find work, you may need to upskill or look for work in other towns, areas, and even states. If you’re an incredibly skilled worker in an industry that is losing its steam, you will need to adapt sooner or later.

There are various government programs and charitable labor-oriented organizations that offer tools, guidelines, and advice for anyone hoping to change jobs. That’s on top of all the free online sources that everyone with an internet connection has access to.

The internet is full of free and paid courses that can help you develop new skills, and you can always study independently, too. It’s a question of focus, perseverance, discipline, and will, not of resources.

The job market in the US is in a peculiar situation right now. Unemployment is up, but wage growth is outpacing inflation

As reported by CNN, the US government’s latest employment figures indicate that the nation’s job market “remains in good shape overall.”

On average, in the six months through November 2024, employers added around 143k jobs a month. Though unemployment is up from a year ago, it’s still historically low. Meanwhile, wage growth continues to outpace inflation. But some numbers are worrying.

Average hourly earnings rose 4% in November 2024 compared to the year before. Though, to be fair, in November 2023, average hourly earnings rose 4.3%. Meanwhile, the number of Americans unemployed for 26+ weeks rose to 1.66 million last month, the highest since January 2022.

Furthermore, the labor market may still not have fully recovered from the Covid-19 pandemic. Currently, the labor force participation rate (how many Americans are employed or actively looking for a job) fell in November 2024 to 62.5%.

What are your thoughts about the entire situation, dear readers? Do you think the author handled the situation right? Would you have done anything differently if you were in her shoes? What do you think her ex should do to get back on his feet and take better care of his daughter? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

The author shared some additional context while interacting with her readers

Reddit discussion: AITA question about treating ex\'s affair child better during visits.

Screenshot of Reddit comments discussing the morality of buying gifts for an ex\'s affair child.

Reddit comments discussing feelings about not getting an affair child a Christmas gift.

Reddit comments discussing an affair child and the dynamics of family relationships.

Reddit discussion on not getting an ex\'s affair child a Christmas gift, showing comments and user opinions.

Most internet users were supportive of the woman. Here’s how they saw the situation

Reddit conversation about not getting an ex\'s affair child a Christmas gift.

Reddit comment about parenting and divorce under an AITA post regarding an ex\'s affair child.

Text response criticizing a cheater for not getting a job to buy gifts, calling them childish and petty.

Reddit comment discussing not getting a Christmas gift for an ex\'s affair child.

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Text response discussing options like Toys for Tots and community donations instead of gifting an affair child on Christmas.

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Text exchange discussing the affair child\'s Christmas gift and support issues.

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Reddit comment discussing the ethics of not giving a Christmas gift to an ex\'s affair child.

A few people thought that everything could have been handled differently

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Text comment offering advice on treating an affair child fairly and with kindness during the holidays.

Reddit comment discussing responsibility for ex\'s affair child, focusing on the importance of being the adult.

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Text response criticizing someone\'s decision about a Christmas gift for an ex\'s affair child.

Reddit comment criticizing not giving Christmas gift to affair child, mentioning it as petty.

A Reddit comment thread discussing whether not buying a Christmas gift for an ex\'s child makes one an a*****e.

Reddit comment discussing obligation and kindness towards an ex\'s affair child during Christmas.

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