We can’t live forever, but we can at least try to avoid the risks that might make our time here much shorter.
The problem is, we humans don’t always act with the best judgment. Common sense can fly out the window, and plain old bad luck can strike at the worst moments, landing us in surprisingly dangerous situations.
Redditors recently opened up about the dumbest reasons they almost died, and we’ve gathered some of the most jaw-dropping, entertaining stories to share with you.
Check them out below, and upvote the ones that made you say, “How are they still alive?”
#1
I am not allowed near a chainsaw.
Years ago my late husband was in a bad car wreck. We had a fireplace, and lots of large tree limbs waiting to be cut. My BIL kept putting off helping, so I said I can do it.
I have waist length hair. Put it in a ponytail and tucked it in my shirt. Did fine.
Next time I. forgot to tuck my hair in my shirt. My hair got caught in the chainsaw motor. The only thing that saved me was the fact that I had so much hair the motor choked when the chainsaw was about 4 inches away from my neck.
It is a self-imposed chainsaw ban because I was so stupid and know I would not be so lucky again.
Image credits: ohsocrazy2
#2
When I was a kid I almost hopped in some strange man’s car to help him find his puppy. I only didn’t go because my little brother started crying. I thought he was SO lame.
Aprehensive_North49:
When I was a kid, a guy said he broke his leg and was lying on a sloped lawn. I was too small to help him to his car, so I ran to get a construction worker I passed down the street to help him. He was gone when we got back a couple of minutes later. The worker told me how smart I was to get an adult since he obviously was not hurt.
Image credits: Educational_Dust_932
#3
Let myself become morbidly obese with no exercise. Doctor told me I was going to have a heart attack any day now. Thankfully it shook me up and since then I have lost over 100 lbs.
Image credits: dma1965
#4
I stepped onto the road whilst busy talking. Not realising I was standing seconds from being hit by a bus, a random stranger grabbed my shirt and pulled me back onto the curb. The bus brushed against my hair as it drove past. The stranger just kept on walking after causally saving my life.
Image credits: notrudejusthonest123
#5
Tried to catch an olive with my mouth, it went right down and I choked on it.
My dad, the absolute hero, grabbed my legs and picked me up upside down, and the olive came right out again, so no Heimlich maneuver necessary.
Image credits: RoronoaZorro
#6
In 1991, my dad passed away. I was 19 years old, home on leave from the military. While going through his things, I found a handgun in his toolbox.
I removed the magazine, and — being young, grieving, and only a year into my military training — I assumed that made it safe. I looked at the gun, curious. I wasn’t trying to hurt myself. I was just in a strange headspace, overwhelmed and not thinking clearly. I raised the gun, intending to pull the trigger — thinking it was unloaded.
At the last second, something made me stop. Instead of pointing it at myself, I turned and aimed it at the garage wall. I pulled the trigger.
It fired.
There was a round chambered. I had no idea.
I just stood there, completely shaken. The noise, the hole in the wall, the realisation of how close I’d come to an accident I’d never have seen coming — it’s stayed with me ever since.
I’ve never told anyone this before. But it was a turning point that I’ll never forget.
Image credits: No-Sun-3156
#7
I took too many dual credit/AP/and extra college classes my last year of high school. There was a program where each credit was $75 at the loca college while I was still in high school. I wanted to save money, so I signed up for everything I could. The problem with this is that for finals week, I had way too many tests to study for at once. I spent days awake drinking only energy drinks, caffeine pills, and sugar. While I was doing my volunteer hours at the library, I tried talking to the librarian, but she couldn’t understand what I was saying. Was sent to the nurse, and she had to call an ambulance and my parents because my heart rate was crazy. Hardly remember what happened. But it’s been over a decade, and my dad will still yell at me for the occasional energy drink.
Image credits: FillPsychological284
#8
Walking through an unlocked door to that led to a basement without a staircase. Straight to the basement floor express.
Image credits: PumbaKahula
#9
Middle of the night, getting too comfortable eating a veggie tray. Threw a piece of broccoli into my throat and started choking. I had to walk 2 rooms over to the bedroom to try and wake up my girlfriend but by the time I got into the middle room, I had started blacking out. Fell over onto the arm of my couch and dislodged it. Broke a blood vessel in my eye.
Image credits: Jerimus1
#10
Was really drunk at the oktoberfest in munich. We went to the rollercoaster and before sitting in it, I didn’t remove my backpack. The guy just “closed” the security attachment over my shoulders, when we were doing a looping I noticed the thing wasn’t closed. I hold it as strong as I could, when we came to the end, the guy looked at me an was completely shocked that it wasn’t closed, it was a close call.
Image credits: LauchGrabung51
#11
I took birth control. Turns out I have a genetic clotting disorder that makes me unable to breakdown clots at a normal speed. I ended up with clots throughout my right leg and both of my lungs.
Image credits: Zukazuk
#12
Jumped off a roof when I was 7 (it was the late 70’s, wildly different time). My plan was to jump on the roof of the shed, but I missed and landed between the shed and the backyard fence. I swear I had a guardian angel, survived with just some scratches on my back.
Image credits: TheFemale72
#13
Had my tonsils out two years ago, the surgeon left my artery exposed at the back of my throat so I had a haemorrhage a few days later. Emergency specialist I saw said there was nothing wrong, the one I saw the next day said it should have been fixed the day before or I could have bled out overnight.
Image credits: Melodic-Yesterday894
#14
Didnt bother to shut the car bonnet/hood fully locked, for about 2 weeks, bonnet flipped open onto the front windscreen whilst driving to work at 60mph middle of winter driving to work in the dark.
Image credits: Forward-Loan-2282
#15
Was wearing a Halloween costume with no arm holes. (Wouldn’t have been authentic to have arms…) and fell backwards down a staircase! Thank god best friend saw it happen and grabbed me before I went headfirst down the flight.
Image credits: ComradeFrano
#16
I was 3. I went feeding the ducks with my mom and baby sister. I threw the bread but forgot to let go🤦🏻♂️ so in the water i went. My earliest memory is my moms hand coming down to me and pulling me up (fun addition i also saw the ducks feet moving when i looked up before my mom got me) so yeah…that was dumb. Im 38 now🤣.
Image credits: B_love_K
#17
I threw a microwave into a dumpster. Power chord wrapped around my neck midflight and almost strangled me.
Image credits: SlimPickens77Box
#18
Was given a very severe wedgie and I had to get rushed to the hospital. It was all captured on camera and there’s still photos 😂
It caused some internal bleeding and a blood clot in my leg, almost died may be an over reaction, but it did require medical attention.
Image credits: girlfrombri
#19
Reached into a spare switchboard space and touched the live 440 volt busbar at the back because someone had removed the guard.
Image credits: Ginandor58
#20
Fell off a ladder breaking into my own house because I didn’t want to wake my wife up.
Image credits: anon
#21
When i was a kid, I ran onto the road to avoid getting hit by a giant purple exercise ball, only to end up being hit by a car instead.
Image credits: flawedcanvas77
#22
Context: crit care/emergency nurse.
Became unwell, didn’t do anything about my fever of >40° for 3 days, heart rate of 140, oxygen levels in the high 80s/low 90s, severe body pain and exhaustion until I started losing time and seeing flashing lights. I called an ambulance and second guessed that decision until I got to hospital and things moved fast.
Anyway most of my right lung was not doing anything of use and I ended up in ICU for 4 days for respiratory support, in hospital for a total of 2 weeks and the full recovery took months. Over a year later I can only jog for 3 mins at a time and still have to take salbutamol pre and post cardio.
Anyway, prime example of do what I say, not what I do. I’d have sent anyone else into emergency/at the very least a GP significantly earlier.
Image credits: NYCstateofmind
#23
I lost my balance and accidentally grabbed an electric fence with both hands. It was incredibly painful, and I screamed because I physically couldn’t let go. Thankfully, a friend was there to help me.
Image credits: Beginning_Big4819
#24
One time I was cleaning my grill, I sneezed and bonked my head on the side of the grill. Knocked myself out in the sun on a 95F day. Woke up with severe sunburns and dehydration.
#25
My toast got stuck in the toaster.
I had a metal knife in my hand.
The toaster was still plugged in.
Fortunately my brain kicked into gear an inch before my knife made contact with the toaster.
I think about that a lot.
Image credits: Icy-Professor477
#26
Going down an expert ski slope when being just a beginner. Hit a rock and flew in the air. Very close to hitting a tree and ended up with just a severe concussion. .
Image credits: TheAzrael2013
#27
I was hiking, by myself, without telling anyone, as an American tourist in Switzerland in my teens. I started climbing up a waterfall, slipped, and fell about 15ft into the pool at the base of a waterfall. It was pretty deep, so I was fine. I was cold, but fine.
Of course, my head missed a large rock at the pool by less than a meter. This wasn’t a trail, I was just exploring. Who knows if they would have ever found my body.
#28
Took a bite of a fried mozz stick, didn’t bite through the cheese and swallowed the first half. I had to pull the cheese out of my throat like a clown with a string of handkerchiefs. It was my 9th birthday and we were eating at the restaurant my mom and 2 aunts worked at. All of their coworkers saw it happen and we’re horrified.
Image credits: Effective-Airport-42
#29
I took a massive hit off my crack pipe and went into a seizure.
Clean for 19 years now.
#30
Chainsaw kicked back and missed my head by like 3 inches.
Image credits: twistedcavity
#31
Nurse at the hospital OD’d me on antibiotics before a very minor surgical procedure. I did think the syringe was abnormally large. After my procedure my throat swelled up and I lost all ability to breathe on my own. Hospital somehow managed to cover themselves up enough that I couldn’t get the evidence to sue them.
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Image credits: TeaBagginsssss
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