Once future parents announce that they’re expecting a baby, they usually get overwhelmed with all sorts of questions. While it’s natural for loved ones to care and be curious about the baby-to-be, expecting parents might feel uncomfortable sharing everything about the pregnancy and prefer to keep some things private.
This woman decided to do the same with her mother-in-law, as her behavior during her first pregnancy made the whole experience far from magical. However, after a while, she started to doubt her choice and turned online for unbiased opinions.
Expectant parents often receive unsolicited questions and advice
Image credits: galitskaya / freepik (not the actual photo)
To avoid this with her MIL, this pregnant woman decided to keep her in the dark about it
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pitiful_Macaroon2142
“I encourage you to keep lots of things to yourself!
Image credits: gpointstudio / freepik (not the actual photo)
Sharing about major life events like pregnancy can feel like a given or even a requirement. However, in the particular case of carrying a baby (when it’s already as hard as it is), unwanted attention from (mostly) well-meaning loved ones can be overwhelming and stressful. So, to avoid added pressure, expecting parents might choose to keep it more private and gain a bit more peace and personal space during this special time.
“You don’t have to share everything. In fact, I encourage you to keep lots of things to yourself! Especially when it comes to the hottest pregnancy topics, which include your baby’s name (until they’re born), how you plan to feed your baby (the opinions here are usually STRONG and not evidence-based), and where your baby will sleep (again— strong opinions that are often not just strong but occasionally outright dangerous),” said author of How We Do Family: From Adoption to Trans Pregnancy, What We Learned about Love and LGBTQ Parenthood, Trystan Reese.
“It’s okay for you to thank them for their interest and let them know you’re keeping that information private. This goes for neighbors, in-laws… and even your own parents. My actual words were: “Oh, thank you so much for your concern! But we are keeping that information private.” I said that over and over again, and 9 times out of 10 it worked and the questioner left us alone,” they shared.
Expectant parents might receive some questions they don’t mind answering at all, while other times, they can be too invasive to discuss. By choosing to be more private during a pregnancy, over time, the questions become fewer and fewer, and it gives the pregnant couple the freedom to share about it as much as they would like. At the same time, they avoid the negativity that comes with unsolicited pregnancy inquiries, advice, and opinions.
It’s important to handle boundary-overstepping loved ones with patience and understanding
Image credits: shurkin_son / freepik (not the actual photo)
For some loved ones, the fact that expecting parents would like to set healthy boundaries around their pregnancy might be harder to grasp. In this case, it’s a good idea to have an honest conversation with them as soon as possible.
Ovia Health suggests approaching the conversation like this: “Aunt Irma, we love you, but we really don’t want a ton of visitors at the hospital because we want to try to get some rest and enjoy alone time with Baby when they arrive. I understand it’s not what you hoped for. We’d love to have you visit a few days later once we get settled in at home.”
Handling loved ones who overstep boundaries with patience, understanding, and kindness isn’t always easy, but it helps to preserve the relationship and makes it easier to manage their expectations related to similar situations in the future.
During pregnancy, maintaining mental health is crucial, which can be achieved by establishing and maintaining boundaries. They reduce stress, enhance emotional well-being, and aid in having an overall positive pregnancy experience.
Many readers supported the woman’s decision
Whereas some thought that everyone was at fault
Meanwhile, others blamed the expectant mother
Lastly, the original poster updated the readers in a comment
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