Partner Outbids In-Laws So They Won’t Live So Close, Doesn’t Tell Anyone

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While we generally can pick the folks we marry or date, the reality is that this also often means dealing with their family, which can be quite the wildcard. As cliche as it can sound, in-laws are often annoying, nosey, demanding and just unpleasant to be around. The only salvation is that, hopefully, they don’t live with you.

A netizen shared their bit of skullduggery when they decided to outbid their in-laws who wanted to move in nearby. We reached out to the person who made the post via private message and will update the article when they get back to us.

Having annoying in-laws living in the neighborhood is a nightmare

Elderly couple sitting together at a table, listening to a person across them, surrounded by bookshelves.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Which is why one netizen decided to take drastic measures to keep them out

Text about partner outbidding in-laws for nearby house, concerned about difficult relationship and boundaries.

Text discussing challenges with in-laws' proximity and personal boundaries.

Text detailing a family's move to distance themselves from in-laws, improving relationships by living far from partner’s parents.

Text discussing in-laws planning to move closer after MIL retires, considering selling their home.

Text excerpt about a house on the market and in-laws bidding, related to partner outbidding them.

Text excerpt about concerns over in-laws becoming neighbors and housing scarcity.

Two suburban homes with manicured lawns and trees, depicting a neighborhood setting.

Image credits: unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text detailing a partner forming an LLC and outbidding in-laws to manage rental housing.

Text message about partner keeping financial decision secret from wife regarding in-laws.

Text about in-laws upset over being outbid by a mystery buyer.

Text revealing a secretive action about outbidding in-laws, discussed with a brother for outside opinions.

Later they shared a few clarifications

Text update from a partner regarding clarifications and helpful comments.

Text message discussing avoiding in-laws, mentioning brother won't reveal secret to wife.

Text discussing strategies to limit in-laws' proximity by renting to full-time residents.

Text discussing financial separation from spouse's investments.

Text about considering ways to disclose a bidding secret related to in-laws' living situation.

Image credits:

A group of four people sitting on a couch, smiling, with two men and two women in casual attire.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

In-law relationships are complicated

While the stories about “nightmare in-laws” are old as time, research suggests that these days most folks are more optimistic about their partner’s family. After all, many people have come to recognize that the norms and “jokes” that get thrown around all the time don’t often reflect reality. Plus, most people also prefer optimism and are willing to give their newfound family a chance.

However, this doesn’t mean that things are easy. One immediate difficulty is that developing a relationship with your in-laws often means braving uncharted waters. In this day and age, cross-cultural relationships are quite normal and people might live in other continents from where they were born.

Every family has their own expectations, but, as humans often do, there can be difficulties actually communicating these things. Some parents insist on being near their kids even when they are adults, despite the fact that often enough this is what drives their offspring to move further away.

There can also be difficulties when it comes to personal space, money or even things like showing up uninvited. After all, in some cultures, you can just waltz on over to your child’s home, walk in and join them for dinner. It is not at all hard to see how this could annoy a person to no end. Boundaries are different in every family, which is a common source of drama.

Couple standing by a window, the partner holding the other gently.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

There is some merit in the idea of keeping distance

One issue is just acting on assumptions and not realizing that your uncommunicated preferences don’t, in the grand scheme of things, matter at all. These are the sorts of pitfalls that do, ultimately, spark a good degree of family drama. It’s important to note that this isn’t even always a conflict between a person and their in-laws, it’s sadly common enough for someone to not have a great relationship with their own parents.

This is one of the main reasons why most couples prefer some distance, as it cuts down on “surprises”. At the very least, visits have to be planned and there is always the possibility of “escaping” if things get too uncomfortable. So if you had this arrangement and suddenly learned your in-laws would be moving in nearby, it’s not hard to see why it would cause some concern.

However, it’s fair to say that most people would probably not be able to pull off this strategy. The real issue isn’t if this person was wrong to outbid their in-laws, that’s their prerogative, it’s that they should ultimately talk to their wife about it. Secrets, even if well intentioned, don’t really help strengthen a relationship.

There is research to suggest that distance is ultimately healthy for families, but deception is not. How they choose to tell their wife is their own business, but it’s worth pointing out that she is probably not going to be happy to learn that her spouse’s brother knew before her.

Most readers saw their side of things

Reddit comment praising someone for outbidding in-laws and being a hero.

Comment discussing partner's decision to outbid in-laws due to toxicity, highlighting mental health impact concerns.

Reddit comment with 1.7k points saying "NTA for having eff you money.

Online comment suggests not telling wife about outbidding in-laws for nearby house.

Reddit comment discussing in-laws, people-pleasing, and trauma responses.

Reddit comment discussing buying property without informing a partner to avoid in-law drama.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment about outbidding in-laws to avoid living nearby.

Text comment discussing finances and the consequences of a partner outbidding in-laws on a property without informing anyone.

Reddit post discussing a partner outbidding in-laws to maintain distance.

Comment discussing a partner outbidding in-laws for privacy, advising honesty.

Comment advising to tell wife the truth about outbidding in-laws soon.

Reddit comment about a sneaky partner tactic to outbid in-laws without revealing intentions.

Comment says, "I'm thinking you shouldn't have told your brother!!" relating to in-law bidding.

Reddit comment discussing partner outbidding in-laws to avoid proximity, emphasizing a well-suited offer for sellers.

Reddit comment praising someone for outbidding their in-laws to maintain family distance.

Comment discussing someone outbidding in-laws and not revealing it to their partner.

Comment discussing outbidding in-laws to avoid proximity, mentioning potential marital impact.

Reddit comment discussing plausible deniability in a decision about outbidding in-laws without informing a partner.

Comment on a forum discussing the partner outbidding in-laws, mentioning "velleity" and "gazumped.

Text from a forum comment about moving away due to in-laws issues, advising secrecy to avoid conflict.

Reddit comment praising a partner's decision in a family bidding situation.

Comment praising partner for outbidding in-laws to prevent them from living nearby.

Online forum discussing a partner's strategy to outbid in-laws to prevent them from living nearby without notifying anyone.

Comment expressing approval of partner outbidding in-laws for peace and rental benefit.

Reddit comment about partner outbidding in-laws to avoid close proximity.

Reddit comment advising to keep in-laws from renting the property.

Comment screenshot discussing partner outbidding in-laws, mentioning future investment and secrecy.

Reddit comment discussing property trusts and LLCs, focusing on confidentiality in property ownership.

Text post discussing relationship conflict involving in-laws and secrecy advice.

Social media comment discussing outbidding in-laws and informing a spouse.

Comment discussing being justified in outbidding in-laws to protect peace.

Comment discussing partner preventing in-laws from purchasing a nearby home to protect their marriage.

Text comment praising a partner's secret action to prevent in-laws from living close by, calling them an "angel.

Comment on outbidding in-laws, described as a bold move, mentioning anticipation of financial capacity to act similarly.

Some were more on the fence about their methods

Text comment with humor about outbidding in-laws: "YTA in the best possible way. Well played sir.

Text comment criticizing a partner for buying a house secretly to outbid in-laws, mentioning dishonesty.

Text discussing financial consequences of secret house purchase to avoid in-laws living nearby.

Comment discussing partner outbidding in-laws, noting failure to inform spouse.

The post Partner Outbids In-Laws So They Won’t Live So Close, Doesn’t Tell Anyone first appeared on Bored Panda.

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