Husband Wants To Gaslight Wife Into Thinking Her Peanut Allergy Is Fake, She’s At A Loss

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Allergies are a nasty thing to deal with, that’s no secret. Not only are they annoying with their itchiness and other vexing symptoms, but they can also be life-threatening. So, it’s expected that when a person deals with it, people around them strive to make their life as easy as possible, helping them to avoid allergens. 

Sadly, some people are jerks, who purposefully put allergic folks in danger. Something like that happened to today’s author — after finding out about her allergy to peanut butter, she asked her husband to opt for butter from other nuts. But he refused to do so and pretty soon the situation got very ugly.

More info: Mumsnet

It’s heartbreaking when one of the closest people to you is deliberately causing you harm

Jar of peanut butter and peanut butter toast on a table, surrounded by peanuts, highlighting allergy discussion context.

Image credits: Maryam Sicard / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

A woman tried exposing her daughter to peanut butter and found out she’s allergic to it herself

Text reading \"Fell out over peanut butter,\" highlighting a peanut allergy issue in a marital discussion.

Text about a peanut allergy reaction, describing itchy rash and hives.

Text discussing preference for cashew or almond butter over peanuts due to allergy concerns.

Man confronts woman regarding peanut allergy skepticism, in a home setting.

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

So, she asked her husband not to buy it, but he has continued doing so anyway, saying he “rediscovered his love for it”

Text about husband jokingly rediscovering peanut butter love, causing concerns over wife\'s peanut allergy and discomfort.

Text about a man at breakfast dismissing his wife\'s peanut allergy concerns.

Text discussing a husband\'s disregard for his wife\'s peanut allergy concerns.

Man and woman on couch in heated discussion about peanut allergy.

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

He also disregards her allergy and disgust for it by leaving used plates and cutlery to wash

Text about a husband denying his wife\'s peanut allergy, leading to a fight.

Text exchange showing a disagreement about food behavior between a couple.

Text about a husband questioning his wife’s peanut allergy after changes post their daughter\'s birth.

Text about relationship issues, mentioning marriage counseling and feeling depressed.

Woman with long hair opens fridge, reaching for food, in well-lit kitchen setting.

Image credits: Kevin Malik / Pexels (not the actual photo)

One day she made her disgust clear once again and he exploded, claiming she was being disrespectful to his food and imagining her allergy

Text discussing experiences with a violent and abusive relationship, questioning the definition of \"normal\" fighting.

Text expressing confusion and conflict in a relationship, with mentions of good times and bad patches.

Text on a screen describing past incidents of physical intimidation and efforts to improve the relationship.

Text discussing changes in a relationship after having a daughter.

Image credits: Rosegarden47 

After this, the woman started doubting her relationship and the fact that there have been a few instances when he was physically intimidating to her adds even more fuel to the fire

A few months ago, the OP was exposing her daughter to peanut butter for the first time. Gently introducing a baby of around 4-6 months to common allergens, like peanut butter, is important to determine whether they can tolerate it. 

During this process, the original poster found out that she herself was allergic to it, as her hands broke out in an itchy rash, which later turned into hives and swollen and itchy lips. 

To find out more about allergies and their affect on people, Bored Panda interviewed GP with a Specialist Role in Allergy Dr. Helen Eve Evans-Howells, who, to start, gave us a list of common symptoms of peanut allergy. The ones mentioned by the OP were there, along with others like abdominal pain, vomiting, sneezing, and runny eyes.

To calm these symptoms down, the author took an antihistamine, which is one of the most common ways to fight allergies. Interestingly, typically they aren’t prescribed to prevent reactions to peanuts, but the original poster must have had them, as they are sold over the counter.

To be better safe than sorry, she asked her husband to not buy this product in the future. Dr. Helen Eve Evans-Howells explained if any family member is allergic to such a product, removing it from the home is a sensible thing to do.

She said “If reactions have occurred in the past to trace amounts, I would recommend a peanut-free home. Given that these allergies can be life-threatening, I think it is important to take into consideration the wishes of the person affected.” 

Sadly, her husband completely disregarded her wishes and kept buying it. At first, he used to wash his used plates and cutlery. Our interviewee said that carefully washing surfaces that peanut butter touched is important in a house with an allergic person, but still, there should be some caution. Apparently, peanut protein is very sticky and transferable. 

Open jar of creamy peanut butter with a spoon beside it, illustrating a discussion about peanut allergies.

Image credits: Saher Suthriwala / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

She explained: “Even though people may feel that they are being cautious, only eating the peanuts in one place, we know that the peanut protein is likely to be in the dust everywhere. This does not necessarily mean it would trigger an allergic reaction for all with a peanut allergy, but some choose to keep it out of the household to minimize risk.”

Later, he stopped doing even that. So, one day the woman brought up how disgusted by the smell and butter itself she was and he flipped out. He said she was insulting his food and basically imagining her symptoms, as they never were that serious.

Dr. Helen Eve Evans-Howells said that even if a person hasn’t experienced anaphylaxis (a severe allergic reaction) before, it doesn’t mean they might not in the future. 

She also indicated that there are some factors, like feeling unwell while ingesting, exercising before or after, having asthma, menstruation, or being fatigued, that can bring out anaphylaxis that was never experienced prior. So, by constantly exposing his wife to her allergen, the husband is basically risking his wife’s life. 

Soon after this fight, things in their marriage started going downhill. For instance, he kept denying their conversation about her allergy even happened, while she insisted that it did. In later updates, the OP revealed that ever since she got pregnant, from time to time, he has been physically intimidating, which makes her feelings towards him even more tainted. 

At least netizens agreed about this whole thing. They kept mentioning that being continually exposed to peanut butter might worsen the woman’s symptoms, so she should throw out the allergen. Also, seeing how badly the man mistreats his wife, it’s pretty clear that at least some of them thought that she should throw out her husband too. Well, we can’t say that it doesn’t seem like a reasonable alternative here, can we? 

People online were flabbergasted by the husband’s carelessness and advised the woman to find a way to get rid of peanut butter from her home before her reaction gets worse

Text advising on peanut allergies and banning peanut butter at home.

Text from an online comment discussing peanut allergy concerns in a relationship.

Comment criticizing a man for insisting his wife eat peanuts despite her allergy.

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Text from user comment expressing concern over someone\'s behavior in a relationship situation about peanut allergy doubts.

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