“Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test”: Woman Asks If She Was Wrong To Cancel The Wedding Because Of One Guest

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Admittedly, weddings and ex-partners don’t seem like a compatible or exciting pairing. But if the previous relationship ended on peaceful terms, the future married couple may consider inviting them to celebrate the special day together for the sake of their friendship.

When this groom and his family decided to extend an invitation to his ex-girlfriend, the bride wasn’t exactly pleased about it. After telling them many times that she didn’t wish to see such a guest at the wedding and getting ignored, she took action, and not the good kind.

The combination of weddings and ex-partners seems like a disaster waiting to happen

Image credits: Trần Long / pexels (not the actual photo)

This special day even got canceled when the groom insisted on inviting his ex-girlfriend

Image credits: Nadtochii / envato (not the actual photo)

Image credits: SuperbTarget9054

“It’s just going to be awkward for them and you”

One of the most trusted experts on etiquette, William Hanson, says that it’s pretty much a hard and fast rule not to invite an ex-partner to the wedding. “It’s just going to be awkward for them and you.”

But there seems to be an exception. “Unless, that is, it was so long ago and you have moved well into the ‘friend’ zone and there are, hand on heart, no feelings towards them from your side then perhaps it is acceptable.” If the breakup was recent and still quite a raw subject, the couple may want to avoid it for the sake of both of them.

Experts also urge partners to think about how their future spouse will feel about having such a person at the celebration. If they aren’t fine with it, it’s better to skip it. “Absolutely do not invite your ex if your future spouse is not 100% on board. It is their wedding too and you want them to be 100% comfortable,” advises Nora Sheils, founder of Bridal Bliss.

Inviting ex-partners out of a strange desire to make them jealous is also a big no-no. ”Your wedding is not the chance to show off to previous partners as to what they missed out on,” says Hanson.

“Focus on your current partner rather than your previous ones”

In case a future spouse insists on inviting their ex, it’s important to speak up and explain why it makes you uncomfortable. A wedding is supposed to be one of the most special days of your life, and having a reminder of your partner’s previous relationships can really put a damper on it.

“For your fiancé/e to get upset is totally understandable,” says William. “What is your motivation for inviting them? Focus on your current partner rather than your previous ones.”

If you’re a former partner who is invited to the wedding, it might be a good idea to take a breather and think through it. “Assess the ‘weird’ factor for yourself based on your individual situation,” suggests Alexandra Denniston, owner and lead planner at Eventlightenment Planning.

“How close are you? How comfortable are you with not being together anymore? What is your relationship like with their friends and/or family? If you’ll be an outlier guest…maybe consider declining the invite. Everyone’s relationship with their ex is different, so ultimately it depends on your unique situation as to whether it is appropriate or comfortable to invite an ex (or attend an ex’s wedding)!”