Do you think it’s better to share everything with your partner or to maintain some mystery in your relationship? Honesty is certainly necessary for any happy, healthy relationship, but isn’t trust a key component too?
According to one man, it’s important that his girlfriend allows him full access to her devices, even if that means he might accidentally come across some confidential information. Below, you’ll find a story that the girlfriend recently posted on Reddit detailing why she refuses to give her partner full access to her phone, as well as some of the replies concerned readers shared.
This woman’s boyfriend believes it’s necessary that he has access to her phone
Image credits: Andres Ayrton (not the actual photo)
But due to security concerns with her job, she’s refusing to share her password
Image credits: Amarande Ansias (not the actual photo)
Image source: willnotshare
Later, the teacher explained in depth why she can’t allow her partner to access her email
Privacy is something we’re all entitled to
You should be able to talk about anything with your partner: your hopes and dreams, your heartaches, the frustrations you feel at the end of a long day, and where you see the two of you in the future. But should they be able to read your private conversations between friends and family members? Would you mind if they went through your Instagram DMs? How about them checking your internet search history?
In this day and age, it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to have any privacy. Even if you’re sitting at home talking to your cat, your phone is listening to what you say, so it can target specific ads to you the next time you start scrolling through Instagram. But privacy is important, in all aspects of our lives, and it shouldn’t be taken away, especially not without consent.
According to TeachPrivacy, it’s important that we don’t have to share everything with others because it limits how much power they can have over us, it provides respect for individuals, it allows us to trust one another, allows for freedom of thought and speech, and means that we don’t have to explain or justify all of our actions. This is true when it comes to the government keeping an eye on your search history or your partner keeping an eye on your Facebook messages.
Many couples start sharing passwords after dating for more than 6 months
When it comes to our phones, most of us have nothing to hide, except some embarrassing selfies and some photos from high school. But the idea of giving another person full access to your phone might still make you uncomfortable. That’s why Sable Yong at The Guardian recommends that sharing passwords and locations is for emergencies only.
A 2023 survey from ExpressVPN found that 81% of Americans admit to sharing passwords with their partners. But the most common reason cited for this is actually to save costs. A third of Americans also do this to be transparent, prove trust and show loyalty, and a quarter report sharing passwords to be closer together. Meanwhile, 12% admit that they do this to prevent jealousy.
The most common passwords shared among couples are those for streaming services. Only 19% have shared their computer or phone password, while 18% have shared their email password, and 13% have shared passwords to social media accounts. Plus, the majority of couples wait until they’ve been dating at least 6 months before they start revealing passwords, while 35% wait until marriage.
But if you truly feel the need to see what’s going on inside your partner’s phone or computer, there are probably other issues in the relationship that need to be addressed. Psychologist Ryan Howes told HuffPost that the need to look into your partner’s device might mean that you don’t actually trust what they’re telling you. You might believe that “their true self is reflected in their communication and searches on their phone,” Howes explained.
But demanding access to a partner’s phone might mean there are bigger issues to address in the relationship
There might also be a lack of communication or intimacy in the relationship that makes you want to sneak a peek at your partner’s phone. Or perhaps, you suspect that they might be cheating. But we are all entitled to privacy. And it’s probably not best to stay in a relationship where you don’t feel safe or secure anyway.
If both partners feel comfortable opening up their devices to one another and sharing 100%, that’s great. In fact, it can even be useful in the case of an emergency. Benita, a married editor from Michigan explained to The Cut that, for her and her husband, it’s important that they can access each others’ phones in case someone ends up in the hospital or goes missing. Find My iPhone can really come in handy if your spouse isn’t home hours after they were expected, and you never want to be in a position where you need to reach out to their emergency contacts but can’t access their information.
But sharing phones should be consensual on both sides. It’s not fair for one person to pressure their partner into giving them access to their devices, and it’s certainly not realistic to inconvenience your partner’s work life just so you can read her DMs.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda piece discussing phone drama in a relationship, look no further than right here!
Readers agreed that the woman had done nothing wrong, and many warned that her boyfriend was starting to show controlling tendencies
The post “I Can’t Do That”: Woman Refuses To Give Her Boyfriend Full Access To Her Phone first appeared on Bored Panda.
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