Whether it’s due to shifts in mood or a (temporary) lapse in judgment, we sometimes take actions that surprise even ourselves. Even though we know they’re uncharacteristic and do not reflect our personality, explaining that to others (who don’t have access to our thoughts) can be tricky. So we decide to bury them in our minds.

But this puts additional mental weight on us and a person can only take so much. Luckily, someone who goes on the internet by the nickname Key_Nectarine_1969 made a post on Reddit, asking platform users, “What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?” and inviting everyone to free themselves of the burden.

Their call was answered. Immediately, the comments section turned into a virtual confession booth, reminding us that keeping secrets is part of being human.

#1

Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them. I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time.

Image credits: hALLIEcinate

#2

My cat has trained me to give her rides around the house by jumping on my shoulder.

I walk her over to the peephole of the door, she looks out it (at it really).

There is an dangling elephant thing with a bell that my wife has a decoration, she looks at and or sniffs it.

I walk her to the back door to take a look for a minute (its glass).

Then I drop her off at her cat scratching post and she jumps off. She purrs like a freak the entire time. It’s adorable.

We do this several times a day.

Image credits: yarash

#3

I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home. I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her. I wanted a friend.

Image credits: letthetreeburn

#4

I write Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic. My favorite author in the fandom likes my stuff… It’s so much fun, and I wish I could talk about it with people irl…

Image credits: lafleurcynique

#5

I found some tablets in a hotel room , decided to try one, I think it was acid, started hallucinating crazy s**t!!

Image credits: No-Object-294

#6

When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog. I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt. He ran off and no one saw. Still not sorry.

Image credits: sneezyailurophile

#7

Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment. So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something. Always kept about a half block behind. He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier. It was weird, and so was I.

Image credits: OKsurewhynotyep

#8

All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand. We had to have an assembly about it. That person… Was me.

Image credits: bejeweled_sky

#9

i found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc i wanted to say goodbye

Image credits: qeleia

#10

gathered apple seeds cuz I heard they had cyanide in them back when I was trying to find ways to self yeet

Image credits: Souljabuoyyy

#11

I helped my partner get unimpacted after a surgery. I am not sure I would ever be successful in the medical field

Image credits: why_not_send_a_nude

#12

Had sex with a potential girlfriend’s mom while the prospect was passed out after a house party.I was drunk, she was drunk, mom was drunk, her dad was not in the picture.

Image credits: Pheonixmoonfire

#13

I once attended a “silent disco” event at a park, but I didn’t have any headphones. So, I just danced along with everyone to the silent beats, pretending to hear the music. It was bizarre to dance in silence, and I couldn’t tell anyone because they’d think I was crazy.

Image credits: shopaholester

#14

Started compulsively keeping track of things in notes: books I’d read, outfits I’d worn, legs of flights I’d taken. I was trying to space out my hair washing so I even started tracking that on a calendar and ended up tracking it for 7 years straight.

Image credits: stringaroundmyfinger

#15

Chugged altar wine, ate communion hosts and then wheelied my BMX bike off the altar and down the aisle of my church. There were 3 of us.

Image credits: Alarming_Ad1746

#16

When I was younger I joined a international dating site that I figured was a scam. Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through there users. And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages. Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site. Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages. Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better. I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy. And it honestly got me through the day sometimes.

Image credits: Demonking3343

#17

Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers. It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time. I decided in my drunken state that it would be bad**s to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies. It wasn’t. We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital. I quit a few weeks later. White collar wasn’t for me.

Image credits: Grotesque-penguin

#18

I would do role play chats in these online browser games when I was like 9-14. They’d ALWAYS turn sexual but because I was so innocent at the time I didn’t know how to continue, so I’d just… “bite” them, run away, and block them lol.

Image credits: Lyn-nyx

#19

I had a baby by c-section and didn’t take the stool softeners—-found out the hard way that I should have.

Image credits: Helechawagirl

#20

I was drunk once, oh long time ago when I was so young, peed standing over the toilet and showed it to my crush saying “hey I can do it too”. We dated for 2 years after that.

Image credits: Fun_Tailor8682

#21

As an 8 year old, I was very, very scared of and obsessed with the idea that I was a sinner and going to hell. It led to a couple weird things. I’d pray for hours every night which led to insomnia. I had to name everyone I knew or else they’d surely die because they weren’t being protected by Jesus. If I missed someone on the list, I’d have to start over. Yes, this was OCD.

Secondly, I was pretty sure I was the bride of the devil. I was 100% sure I had been selected to give birth to the antichrist since I was so evil. So I’d routinely punch my stomach really hard to end anything that might be in it. I’d intentionally fall and put myself into dangerous situations with the hope that, even if I was destined to live in hell for eternity, I could save my family from dealing with the f*****g antichrist. Don’t teach your kids religion. Even if they don’t have mental health issues like me, it will f**k them up in ways they will never tell you about.

Image credits: LVII

#22

I know it’s not shameful or wrong, but a buddy and mentor died suddenly in a car accident several years back. I think of him often but especially when I glance over my Steam friend list and see how long he’s been offline. I still send him messages once in a while and pretend for a minute he’ll log back in and call me up to give me an update on his kids and ask me how my wife’s doing, set up another time to play guitar together and get sushi.

Image credits: HeroToTheSquatch

#23

Two friends and I dropped a bunch of acid and drove two hours to Great America. Carried around a jug of orange juice with acid in it and rode roller coasters all day. Last ride of the night was the Great American Eagle after dark and it was starting to rain. Definitely a trip!

#24

When I was 13, my family got like 12 bottles of buffalo ranch stuff from a food pantry. For some reason my dumbass decided to grab a bottle and start chugging it like a beer. Acting drunk and all, even though I didn’t understand what I was doing.

I would later learn that my mom was/is an alcoholic, and I was most likely mimicking her behavior due to trauma. Luckily I only drank one ranch bottle(that I remember anyway).

#25

Was in like middle school and my older sister and I somehow had a great idea. We took a bunch of our younger siblings toys and made a horror scene with them in the basement. Like red paint blood, dismembered, hanging from the ceiling. Real nasty s**t lol. We looked at our creation and immediately realized we went too far. Not only did we waste my moms money, but would have traumatized the c**p out of two elementary schoolers. Took it all down and disposed of the evidence quickly. No clue whose idea it was but we decided never to tell them lol

#26

My boyfriend likes to come home from work and clean himself with wet wipes. He is extremely attractive to me so I help usually. I wipe his a*****e out daily.

#27

I was caught touching a mannequins boob in the window of a store (when I was like 12!) by a woman walking down a sidewalk

#28

When I was working at an amusement park, spending a lot of time standing, I noticed calluses forming on my feet. I sliced them off with a razor blade. And ate them.

I still do this sometimes.

#29

I smell my headphones after wearing them.

Image credits: ripMyTime0192

#30

When I was a kid, I was in a big indoor waterpark, which had a large whirlpool like thing. I had to take a dump, but it was too much fun in there to get out. My childish reasoning said, the bubbly surface would cover everything underneath, so I just pulled my swimming pants and set it loose, believing the bubbly surface would hide it.
It did not.

#31

TW: My dad was involved in dog fighting when I was a child. It’s not something I talk to anybody about. I’ll never forget our pitbull whiskey. She was a mean fighting machine. Of course, I never saw her that way because she was so loving at home. My dad brought her (and I) to a house one day to fight her son. She completely shut down. She didn’t wanna fight him. She had never lost a fight until that day. She managed to survive but not without significant injury. I was devastated. It was my first and only dog fight I had witnessed and I was scarred. When leaving, I remember asking my dad questions. “Why did whiskey have to fight?” “Do all dogs do that?” My dad was equally as devastated but probably not for the same reason. Fast forward a few months Whiskey was doing better. We were sitting in the living room when a next-door neighbor girl came over with potato chips. Whiskey end up biting her in the face bad. My dad knew what was going to happen next so he took her out back and ended her life. I 100% blame it on the dog fighting (and my father) My dad cries anytime we’ve ever talked about it. The guilt will forever be there. This isn’t something I ever talk about with anybody because my father is a changed man and he is still my father. EDIT: not weird… just traumatic.

#32

When i was 15 my friend and i were alone at her place and she was trying to slice apples with mandoline in the kitchen and ended up slicing a good 2 inch skin off her palm. I dont know what came over me as she was screaming and ran to the living room but i saw the 2 inch skin stuck to the blade and picked it up and ate it. When she came back to look for it and asked where it was i pretended i didnt know. I never told anyone.

#33

I downloaded Grindr bc I thought maybe I was gay but after a few dudes started messaging me I was like “no” and deleted it

Image credits: bashbishcrawls

#34

My partner is weirdly prone to cysts. I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr’s appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest. I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw….good heavens

#35

One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my b******e and sprayed some water into it, then I farted it out onto the lawn. Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose. I did this because I was bored. My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time).

Image credits: WaspsInMyGoatse

#36

My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk. Then they helped me take a s**t on the toilet, wiped my a*s and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked. Don’t remember any of it.

Image credits: nc3100

#37

We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans. Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side. I was sitting on the toilet s******g bricks of fire. At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn. The trash can was out of reach and I couldn’t risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds. The closest receptacle was the bathtub. I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep s******g in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub. Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger. I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously.

Image credits: HoopOnPoop

#38

Drove my car into a tree no seat belt trying to un-alive myself, failed and ended up with a badly broken right arm and left hip like total hip replacement. Everyone in my family thinks it was some accident and I’ve been too embarrassed to admit it wasn’t.

Image credits: Scriptur3

#39

Was in a thruple for 3 years on the DL in the deep religious south. I was a nurse at the local hospital, hubby was a principal at the jr high and our gf was head of the English dept of the school district the next town over. Our close friends knew, but not really something I can talk about in the break room ya know. Relationship ended for various reasons, but was sure fun while it lasted….

Image credits: MidWitch3

#40

I’ve always been a slim guy so a couple years ago once I started to gain a bit of weight I looked in the mirror and saw my a*s looks pretty nice, like a girls a*s. I was so damn lonely that I bought myself some female underwear, tights to cover the hair and a skirt and did a photo shoot. Then proceeded to pleasure myself to them. The immense amount of shame I felt for enjoying it put me into a pit of despair. Have not done it since yet sometimes still miss it.

Image credits: cydesally

#41

I didn’t have any spaghetti sauce to make spaghetti so I cooked some elbow noodles and I put in a little light mayo and about 1/3 of a big container of powdered Parmesan cheese and mixed it. It tasted good. If you sat at the kitchen table and that is in front of you and you’re blindfolded, you would think that was spaghetti with a lot of cheese.

Image credits: VoidJazz033

#42

I was in the woods in the middle of the night tripping. I decided to shove snow inside me. Wanted to know what it felt like. It felt cold.

Image credits: Lucinnda

#43

I’ve been to a nudist resort multiple times and a nudist beach a couple of times.

I love it.

Too bad all those places are 5+ hours from where I live.

#44

I watched 2 episodes of Boruto.

This might not sound weird or strange, but if you’ve seen 1 episode of Boruto, then you know that to watch more than 4 minutes of Boruto is bizarre behavior.

#45

Peed in a urinal. I’m a girl

#46

I get really awkward and self conscious outside alone but really wanted to watch a movie in the cinemas and BF had no time to accompany me. Guess what, I went there alone, bought the tickets, watched the entire movie laughing and came back home like I did nothing. Still one of my greatest secrets.

#47

When I was 11, there was this plant at our home that oozed white liquid if you ripped a branch. I forgot its name. The neighbourhood kids said that this white liquid was poisonous. I mixed a lot of it in a glass of water and drank it to unalive myself (abusive household, pure chaos). The liquid was not poisonous. I remember the sweet disappointment.

#48

I wrote a diary entry during an exam. On the extra exam sheet. I’m talking like, 1 and a half pages, full text with personal Details.

I hadn’t prepared for the test and knew I’d tank it. So I figured I might as well use the time for something else.

I got caught. Most humiliating day of my entire life.

#49

I was caught taking a nuclear level s**t on my ex’s lawn.

#50

Celebrating with my mom for her birthday… Depressed as all hell… About 4 shots in of tequila started feeling happy and thought ? hmmm… Haven’t felt this good in months…. Downed 6 more shots…. Last thing I remember I was dancing around my dining room table. Woke up sick as s**t throwing up majority of the next day… Listening to stories of how I was tripping… Some how made it to basement… Laughed …cried… Joked around… Unfortunately I didn’t remember none of that s**t at all! That was the first time I ever got blackout drunk Eventually I had to go to the hospital

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