Love doesn’t care about borders. You can find your soulmate anywhere on Earth and start a fantastic adventure together. However, even the most open-minded and adaptable travelers can still be shocked by the differences in background between the two of them, as well as their families.

Has your SO’s family ever told you that you might need surgery? Or that you have to wait in the parking lot to be intentionally late to dinner? People with international and intercultural partners spilled the tea about the biggest and weirdest culture shocks they felt when they first got a taste of their loved one’s culture, and it’s a wild ride. We’re bringing you their top stories to show you just how flexible you have to be if you want to make the relationship work.

#1

Food.

I grew up in a house where my dad is a good cook and we’d always have family dinner together so I thought I was in a food oriented household.

Well a month after I started dating my husband he brings me to a big family dinner. Grandparents were there and all the aunts and uncles. Twenty people around one of those big lazy Susan tables. I was the only white person in the whole restaurant.

They would all be chattering away in Cantonese and suddenly I’d hear my name followed by laughter and a big scoop of something landed in my bowl. Not wanting to be rude I tried to eat everything. If I was really unsure I leaned over to my boyfriend or his mom and ask what it was and their answer invariably was “it’s good, you’ll like it”

On the drive home my boyfriend said I had been the dinner entertainment because everybody thought it was hilarious that this little blonde girl ate everything, they even ordered a few really authentic dishes just to mess with me. But I ended up impressing everyone because I didn’t bat an eye.

He told me later that was the night he decided he was gonna marry me because I whole heartedly jumped into his culture and tried everything. I’m to a point where there are dishes I know I don’t like but if something new is in the table I always try it.

© Photo: TheBrontosaurus

#2

Hispanic culture has zero version of political correctness. They are extremely blunt. “Hey you look like you got fat” isn’t uncommon.

The people have a better view of life in many ways than I grew up. Much more family focused.

© Photo: anon

#3

Soo much family. She is Samoan. Every Samoan seems to be related.

© Photo: anon

There are plenty of challenges to be found in a regular relationship with someone from a similar background. There are even more challenges when it is an international, intercultural, interfaith, or interracial marriage.

Broadly speaking, intercultural couples experience more stress than same-culture couples. What’s more, it can take you longer to integrate into their family and background. And if you decide to have kids, they might struggle with their identity, as they grow up between different cultures.

On top of that, there are more legal considerations to keep in mind if you come from different countries: visa requirements, international documentation, residency laws, etc., can be a real pain to get to grips with at first.

#4

Being late to social gatherings is so ingrained in their culture that showing up right on time is considered rude. She has literally made me pull into a parking lot and wait so that we were at least ten minutes late to dinner at tita’s house. And we were still the first ones there by far.

© Photo: nails_for_breakfast

#5

Weddings.

My fiance (Irish) and I (Indian) started planning our wedding. We’re both wanted to go for a small wedding and we sat our parents down and told them about it. I gave my fiance a heads up to let him know that we’d have to operationally define what a small wedding would be to my parents because to them small would be like a 100 people. He didn’t take me seriously at first, but when we finally got down to it and told my parents, they came up with a guest list of just their friends and my family of about a 125 people.

As a compromise, we’ve finally arrived on 20 people for the wedding and my parents are throwing us a party after with whoever they want to invite. It was like a war negotiation.

© Photo: acidgreencanvas

#6

I’d never seen someone cry tears of joy eating good pasta until I met my Italian girlfriend.

© Photo: JMES241

What are the biggest culture shocks that you’ve personally experienced after you started dating your significant other and met their family? Meanwhile, what shocked your partner when you finally introduced them to your folks? What changed after you got married?

Share your relationship and family stories, as well as any advice you have for new couples, in the comments at the very bottom of this post.

#7

They put Adobo on *everything.* Even lasagna.

© Photo: anon

#8

She ate fried bananas, she gave me some and taste like sweet fried potatoes, its really weird.

Shes from colombia btw.

© Photo: bobby_harron

#9

When I was dating a Philippine (autocorrect says a different thing than I thought you called people from the Philippines. Hmm). Anyways I was dating this guy and it came out from his family and friends that dating a white girl is just something you do before you get married to a girl from the Philippines.

So yah, I learned the relationship I was invested in was only ever meant to be temporary.

I don’t know if this is actually common or I had a unique experience but either way it was shocking and hurtful.

© Photo: DaughterEarth

#10

My wife had to deal with korean people who will frequently comment about your appearance *as a greeting*.

My aunt meeting my SO: Hii nice to meet you! your face is so small.

Edit:

A lot of comments point out that small face is desirable and should be taken as a compliment. True. But I just used the nicest example. They will comment on anything about your body. And the worst part is that they always offer a solution: “you should try some surgery.”

I guess it’s common to a lot of other cultures to dig at your looks pretty casually. But I think there’s something uniquely bad about Koreans because they will go so far as to try and refer you to a plastic surgeon. ALL THE TIME. I just turned 30 and my mom recently told me I should try botox. Like what the hell mom.

© Photo: fire_escape_balcony

#11

They can drink. Like, seriously. Holy hell. (Scandinavian, specifically Norwegian and Swedish).

© Photo: anon

#12

Black British with a Jamaican family. Married to a white British guy.

Was most shocked by funerals. When we had his nannas funeral I was shocked that people were invited and only immediate family. We did the funeral, then went to a pub and there were sandwiches, cakes, tea etc then everyone was heading home by 5.30pm.

Jamaican and Caribbean funerals are NOTHING of the sort. People turn up because they knew the deceased person years ago. Some people don’t even make plans to go to the funeral they arrange to go to the “after”. There’s hot food served like a properly catered function in a hall or centre, there’s sound systems set up, and people dance. Also sometimes a couple old men in hats playing dominoes. There’s also usually a “nine-night” so nine nights after the person passes away you hold a big party essentially to chase away bad spirits. Lots of music, drinking, food, smoking, etc.

I told husband about this and his face was a picture!

© Photo: AliceLovesBooks

#13

Money management. I was quite surprised that when we got married, we were supposed to give away half of the cash we received as gifts to my SO’s cousins. I was then instructed that it was rude to have a savings account. If we had extra money, it should always be given to the family as gifts. Not happening.

© Photo: anon

#14

Back in high school I dated a Lebanese girl. We had to date in secret because her family was super strictly against her dating anyone especially a Non-Muslim and Non-Arab guy.

Anyway eventually her cousin found out that we were having intimate relations and that information got to her dad who ended up sending her and her sister back to live with their uncle in Lebanon because “America corrupted his daughter”. I never saw her again.

© Photo: anon

#15

The EXTREME family closeness. I’m black, but my family isn’t particularly close – we live in different states, we talk probably weekly, I don’t know the daily ins and outs of their lives. My wife’s family though – my god. Take a wild guess at their ethnicity. I’ll give you a hint – 90% of her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins live in the same five mile radius in El Paso.

© Photo: redooo

#16

Their insistence on cooking things “the ~~white~~ right way.” I’m Filipina, BF is white. His parents are from the PNW and insist that salmon can only be cooked the way they cook it up in Oregon/Washington/whatever. Lmao, that’s stupid, there’s tons of ways to cook fish and make it delicious but I don’t complain. Eventually BF’s dad makes us a salmon dinner. Baked salmon with no seasoning, white rice, and a slice of lemon for flavor.

That’s it. That’s the only way they will eat salmon. We invited BF’s mom for dinner once and told her we were making teriyaki salmon. She CANCELED LMAO.

Luckily BF actually has functioning tastebuds and agrees that a lot of his parents food is bland AF.

© Photo: spidergweb

#17

Irish people really will stop talking to their family members over the slightest thing. Like cut them out of their life for decades.

© Photo: amethystleo815

#18

When I was dating a Mexican, I’d go to his family parties and they would play the most foul mouthed rap. F tha police blasting at a 5 year olds birthday. Abuelas and abuelos up and dancing to it.

I made a comment about how liberal his parents and grandparents must be. He said “oh they dont know English. This absolutely wouldn’t fly if they knew what it was about”.

© Photo: ohso_happy_too

#19

Calling everyone an uncle or auntie when you mean “person who is older.” The number of actual relatives is much smaller than the number of family members.

[edit: I love that apparently this happens everywhere except for white middle America. I first got it from my Chinese in-laws].

© Photo: oftenfrequentlyonce

#20

It’s not interracial in any real way, but I had a bonkers family dinner out with my wife’s Maltese family one time. If you’re unfamiliar, Maltese people are basically Italians who get super mad when you call them Italians.

We were seated at the end of the long, long dining table with my wife’s two aunts and uncles (her dad’s brother and sister, and their spouses–all in their 60s and 70s). Dinner was served “family style” at this restaurant, and these two old, Floridian, ex-New Yorker, 2nd-generation Maltese couples ate like this: The lasagne would hit the table, the wife would dish some for the husband, some for herself, and then pass it to the other wife. The next wife would dish some for her husband, some for herself… and the pass it to my wife. Who, without *blinking* dished some for me, some for herself, and passed the tray down the table.

Now this woman has never “served me” dinner (in a restaurant, anyway–she’s a great cook at home) in her life. She’s a whole, independent, modern woman who is super clear that I’m a grown-a*s man who can get his own food. But at this dinner, her-serving-me happened entirely seamlessly, as if it’s just how we did it too.

Then the veal came. Same routine. Then the spaghetti. Same. Then the pork chops. Same.

If you’re counting, we’re now four entrees into dinner (and I didn’t mention appetizers and salad!), and I’ve been dished a serving of each by my bizarrely servile wife. I’m no slouch at eating, but this is starting to get, well, silly. As I look around at the other husbands (because we’re clearly In Rome here), they’re stuffing in each of these… courses?… as if it was the first.

Then the desserts started coming. It was a flan, and then a creme brulee, and then a tiramisu. I Was Served a serving of each. By the end of this I was beginning to whinge audibly. As I glommed the final bite of tiramisu, I looked up, breathing heavily, and caught an approving nod from her uncle Charlie.

As I pushed back from the table I looked around and realized that every man in that family is literally 50 to 100 pounds overweight.

© Photo: ratbastid

#21

I’m half Spanish on my mum’s side, we never really got on with my dad’s family (which is sad, because some of his more distant relatives are amazing people), so I was raised in my mum’s culture.

My husband’s family are lovely people, but how their family works is so strange to me. When they talk to each other, it’s how I’d interact with a work colleague I don’t see very often- polite, cheerful, but never touching on personal subjects. They seemed horribly embarrassed when we called them to announce our engagement (we live on opposite sides of the world). I was a bit offended until I got to know them better, they do care and they are warm- they just don’t express it like my family do.

I did warn my husband about my family, but I don’t think he really understood. We are LOUD. Loud enough that if you want to talk, you shout over everyone else. There are a lot of us. We are all up in each other’s business. Our family will subsume you if they like you- he gained 5 aunts and uncles and 10 first cousins without asking for them.

© Photo: 80s-Dayglow-Kitten

#22

How open his family is about money. I never knew how much my parents make I have no idea how much money my sister makes. But I know my sister in law makes 5k more a year than my husband because every time one of them gets a raise they call each other to gloat (no bad blood just an ongoing sibling rivalry. I think she’s gonna win honestly)

I know what my father in law makes and every year he goes over our taxes with us so he knows down to the penny what my husband and I make.

It’s honestly so refreshing to not have a taboo about money. It’s made me so much smarter financially. My husband and I bought a house two months before we got married and ended being house poor. We didn’t have any spending money outside food bills and mortgage. I felt no trepidation going to my mother in law and asking her to help us nail down a budget and savings plan for the next six months to help dig us out of the hole we were in.

Some of this is cultural but some of it is just his family being very very open with each other.

© Photo: TheBrontosaurus

#23

My biggest surprise is the huge amount of Polish pride someone can have considering that they don’t speak Polish or have been to Poland.

Her biggest surprise is that we play hide the money anytime we go to a relative’s house. Also, the arguments that ensue when trying to pay the restaurant bill.

© Photo: krsparetime

#24

We’re from different cultures (I’m Canadian and she’s British). A good 20% of the time I have no clue what she’s saying… like, I hear the words, but they make no sense when strung together in the way she does. Often have to break down exactly what it was she meant in simpler terms.

© Photo: P0ster_Nutbag

#25

I’m white that married a Mexican. The biggest thing for me was that EVERYTHING is a family affair. Like, I call my family every other week or whatever, but my husband’s family does everything together. My first taste of this was when we were dating, and it took the whole family to switch out his mattress for a bigger one. I was like, you couldn’t do that yourself? He looked at me funny when I said that.

© Photo: petiteandpale16

#26

Wife is chinese and I’m America. The number of chinese guys that will get super pissed off at a chinese girl for marrying an American man Is astonishing. Really ticks them off.

Edit:….. I am America… not changing it.

© Photo: DuhSquatch

#27

His family has little to no contact with one another unless it’s a holiday. They also put their elderly in care homes. As well, they put much of their money into immediate gratification rather than saving for the future.

His family is Afro American. I am first gen American and my family is traditional Filipino.

We believe in family first, multiple generations live in the same home until they pass. We hire in home care for our elderly; and if (when) they need hospice care there is always money set aside to care for them.

#28

I am 100% Pakistani and my husband is a mix of Indigenous (Canadian) and Ukrainian.

I find it shocking & hilarious when the parents swear, love for animals, openness about talking about intercourse, being able to be physically affectionate with one another with other family around, alcohol, being able to speak your opinions…people actually listen to you when you speak.

#29

How accepted I am into their family.

I come from an horrible home. My family is american. I was very much a true life cinderella. I was attacked by siblings and told it was my fault. If I fought back, I was punished severely I was never good enough even with the highest grades or best behavior, but my siblings barely passed school and it was celebrated with huge fanfare.

I am now dating a Hispanic man. His family is so comforting and helpful and loving. It’s crazy. The only time I got hugged in my family was when I was losing my cool over how unfair everything was. And it was always I love you all equally. No just I love you, not it was I love you all equally. His family is just hey I’m going hug love you and leave. Or I missed you. Or be careful. Or behave and a kiss blown.

I actually had to have a talk with my SO because I’m not a big hugger. I have trauma that is stirred up by hugs from people. It’s a trigger for me. Because a hug with both arms up top can very quickly be one strangling. And it has before. So I had to have him talk to his family. Because it was seriously messing with me.

And his family was totally cool about it. They constantly offer what I assume would be mom and dad level help in a happy home. They are always asking if I’ll be there for holidays. They sent me a present for Christmas even though we’d only been together for a couple months. It’s insane just how accepting and loving a healthy family is. And I’m not sure if it’s the healthy family relationships or if it’s the culture difference. But I love it.

#30

My fiance is white and English. They swear alot and i thought her sisters and her hated each other cause every fight sounds like they are extremly pissed. Fact is they just talk loud.

#31

My dad is white and mom is Asian. He told me one of the biggest surprises was just how spicy everything she ate was.

#32

White Americans seem to prefer chicken breast. That’s like the driest, least flavorful part of the chicken. Especially American roided up chickens.

Also, shoes in the house. I knew that they did it from TV, but no amount of TV could prepare me for his sister just standing on my bathmat with her shoes on.

#33

How similar our cultures are. When we first started dating, I thought there would be a much steeper learning curve since I’m a Central Asian Jew and he’s Iraqi-Canadian.

#34

I don’t know if it’s Hispanic culture overall or just Mexican culture, but rubbing an egg on someone to cure them is a thing. A very weird thing that is just accepted.

#35

My boyfriend is half Japanese, and his very un-emotional relationship with his mother, and his father too, was a huge shock to me.

My parents are european immigrants from the Balkans, and they’re incredibly affectionate. My brother and I are affectionate with each other and will hug anytime. I hug my parents nearly every day (before the pandemic). I grew up holding hands with my cousins in public, but my boyfriend absolutely hates PDA of any kind. We’ve gotten into numerous arguments about physical affection in public or even at parties around our own friends.

Naturally he thinks my relationship with my family is very weird. Because we hug…

#36

I’m from Ireland, and my wife is American. The first time she visited my family in Ireland, my sister’s (also-American) boyfriend approached her and asked “How do you handle these people?”

That poor jerk had moved to Ireland after knowing my sister for like a month, due to having knocked her up. It did not end up working out. Aside from my lovely niece, I guess.

#37

Oooh being so touchy touchy. I’m Asian and she’s Hispanic, ‘nuff said.

Also what surprised us was the foods. There were so many things present in our opposite cultures but used in a lot of opposite ways. Like certain ingredients used savory in one culture and sweet in the other and so in. But a lot of ingredients in common.

#38

Swearing at their parents and there parents not caring…..

#39

I’m from a small family…married a Latina woman who has 3 boys. My family wasn’t close at all but my wife’s is completely different. We’re all very close, always hugs and kisses and talking s**t. Those “boys ” are now men, all have kids of their own. And I’ve been with them for 20+ years and my wife and family are still going strong.

#40

Jello. So many kinds of Jello. Every person in the surrounding South Dakota farming community brings a different kind of Jello to social gatherings.

#41

My wife is half Indian half Italian, I’m Serbian.

For the Italian: no sense of privacy, if you place a phone call, the whole room is on the phone with you. Also, SO. MUCH. PASTA.

Also, it would get most people but not me, because we’re also loud, but they’re loud.

For the Indian: at family gatherings they expect the kids to do everything. Won’t even offer a drink. Also, the hell, a meal with no meat?! Also, so quiet.

For my wife: “Oh my god, there’s so much meat! Why is no one eating and only drinking?! Why does everyone smoke?! With kids right there?! Did he really just have half a bottle of that?! What is that?! Oh my god! It tastes like rubbing alcohol! Oh, but it’s so good! I need a smoke now. Oh, the food is suddenly gone! Wait, did that man just eat a loaf of bread and half a lamb?! Is he finishing that bottle?! How is he not drunk?!”

PS he was drunk, he’s just constantly drunk.

#42

I’m Chinese, husband is white American (some mix of Italian, Ukrainian, and English ancestry) and just the fact that he and his family don’t eat a lot of the parts of animals that are edible. He won’t eat any organ meat, which is really strange to me because I grew up eating ALL the organ meat.

#43

How awful their cooking was. I am third generation Mexican, so we have really had some time to adopt southern cooking here. But…how do you even dry out a turkey that much? Why is your casserole so soupy? Are you sure everyone is bringing their best dish here? My wife’s uncle owns a bbq restaurant, and I know 3 family members that make better bbq than he does. My wife thought she didn’t like meat for almost 20 years. It was their cooking.

#44

Hispanic American who used to be married to a white American (didn’t even claim to be Irish or German or anything). His mom really didn’t season food. He asked me to teach her, and I felt uncomfortable doing so. Also why are there so many types of casseroles. They also were shocked my hair was naturally curly. Hard to believe we grew up two cities away from each other for all the weird differences.

My current in-laws are black American. He couldn’t say my mac and cheese was better than his mom’s for 10 years. He still won’t say it in front of her. I avoid going to church with my mother in law because it always lasts 3 hours and there is an entire 30 minutes of people catching the spirit and fainting. I wanted to faint from hunger and dehydration. They’re also fascinated with my hair. I’ll report back if I ever marry an Asian guy.

Edit: As for the mac and cheese recipe, I’ve been doing that by instinct for years. Basically if you know how to make a roux, and you’re not afraid to use something different besides medium cheddar, you can make a good mac and cheese. My secret in this case, which will surprise no one since I’m Hispanic, is Adobo. But I switch up cheeses based on my mood. Season the flour for the roux though, don’t go dumping it in your cheese sauce. It’s all about the seasoning.

#45

AM from up north marrying WF from the deep south. Shoes indoors.

YOU’RE TRACKING DIRT INTO THE HOUSE.

#46

My girlfriend is Japanese, and it never ceases to amaze me how dedicated Japanese people are to keeping “the harmony” or whatever you want to call it. Obviously losing your temper is looked down upon harshly, but they even avoid just talking about an issue. When she’s upset about something, she won’t bring it up, she’d rather pretend everything is fine and actively avoids the topic. Even if we talk about something casual like a movie, as soon as it’s clear we disagree on something, even something super small, she immediately shuts down any possible discussion. For me as a European, that’s super weird and quite often frustrating to deal with.

#47

Yemenite Israeli family… I don’t speak the language. First visit, I hear everybody screaming and ask ‘What are you all fighting about’ and my wife says ‘oh, we’re just talking’.

#48

Dating someone who is Native, I was not expecting him to be related to the large majority of this town. He has a lot of family, plus hes the oldest of SIX kids.

#49

(all is in USA)

German-Irish here who grew up with a bunch of Italian or half-Italian friends.

I had no idea until I dated an Italian girl how superstitious they were. Like my family says they’re catholic and we’d do all the sacraments but if you looked through our house you wouldn’t even know we’ve heard of religion. That’s how NOT superstitious my family is. We probably don’t even believe in the popular organized religion of our area.

Then there’s my gf and her family. There are plastic Jesus cards (the ones you’d get of a person at their wake) in every room. Crosses, painting etc. That’s the religion part. The superstitious part is even crazier. Knocking on wood. Not putting shoes on a bed (it’ll make you have a bad day). Cheers without eye contact. Broken mirrors bad luck. Salt over the shoulder.

I can’t believe how real it is to them.

Also I recognize were both just different flavors of white but yeah celtic vs Mediterranean is worlds apart.

#50

My wife is from Taiwan. The biggest shock was the first time I met her parents. In the states, it is rude not to finish your plate as a guest, in Taiwan, if your plate is empty you get more food until you finish and there is food on your plate when you are done. Needless to say I was turning green and had to ask my wife if I could stop and she laughed.

#51

Already commented but I thought of a better answer. I’m Canadian and my partner is British. I don’t find our cultures shockingly different, but it took a little while to get used to the British sense of humour.

His family are genuinely proud of me when I make fun of them. They’re like “aww your insults are getting so much better, I remember how polite you used to be when we first met you.” I cannot make fun of my mom or even my sister like that. And at work we all actively make fun of our boss to his face and he just laughs along. In Canada that never would have happened. It’s pretty great tbh.

#52

My (Ashkenazi) husband (Indian) was surprised at how similar our families were. Sure there were some differences but he chose to focus on the similarities. He obviously was expecting more differences.

#53

Dutch boyfriend eating peanut butter toast literally every morning.

#54

The inappropriate amount of demands for us to have children.

#55

White male married to Indian- the stupid pedestal all Indian women put the men of their family on. Ridiculous and outdated.

#56

How old fashioned she is. Won’t let me change my own child’s diaper. Gets angry about it.

#57

The sheer ubiquity of Bud lite and Nascar.

#58

“Hey, Fatty!” is insulting but “¡Ey, Gordita!” is just calling out to a family member.

#59

To be quite honest, I don’t think I ever was “shocked” by anything. I have a feeling she might have been shocked more by my culture, to be honest.

However, one thing that I did not expect was just how receptive, welcoming, friendly, and loving her family would be. I always had this (bad??) impression that Asian cultures were more reserved or whatever. But naw, they were just so open. It was great!

#60

A few things (I’m white, he’s Haitian)

1. The family drama! There is ALWAYS some kind of drama at any given moment of the day!
2. Eating super late on holidays like Christmas or thanksgiving. I swear “my moms cooking it should be done by noon” is loosely translated to “we arnt eating until 9’oclock at night and someone still has to run to the store a couple times.
3. Intentional tardiness. I like to be early for things and he can just dilly dally around and be okay being late for things. His mom can’t leave the house until about an hour after she has to be somewhere.
4. The excessive pushing to get married and have kids! I attended his brothers Haitian wedding and the entire time “when you guys going to get married” “when you guys going to have kids?” I swear for the entire 6 hours.
5. The partying! I’m cool with this part though! Everything’s a party!

#61

How close family stays. My husbands family gets together every Christmas. His grandfather was physicist who was able to get his wife and 4 children out before the borders truly closed in China. His 4 children all had 2-3 children, then they started having children….Christmas is now 40 people and 4 generations.

#62

My partner is British Pakistani, I’m just British. He’s very western in his outlook, I’m still taken aback 6 years down the line when male family members won’t shake my hand or greet me, or when they suggest it is my place to be fetching and carrying for him. He can do his own darn running around. Also 17 people in one 4 bedroom house, I don’t understand where everyone sleeps. The food is good though!

#63

Well my girlfriend CAN NOT get over the marvel of the tater tot casserole. Thinks it is the most disgusting looking thing she’s ever seen.

#64

When I first started seeing my boyfriend, who is white, he used to bring me home to his parents house. Parents were home, would say hi to me, and then we’d go up to his room with the door closed for hours. It blew my mind that his parents would just let him take a girl up to his room with the door closed like that.

Asked him about it and he was like, yeah? I’m over 18, they can’t say no.

Meanwhile I (also over 18) have never even brought a boy to my house, let alone to my bedroom, let alone with the door closed. Turning 18 didn’t change any rules for me either, no matter if I was a legal adult I was still abiding by every one of my parents strict rules.

Also, they eat dinner at like 5pm. Even earlier on Sunday’s. That was wild to me too.

#65

If you don’t say hello when you enter the home or gathering then you suck and the family is mad.

#66

I’m British and my wife is Chinese. Not British born Chinese. She’s actually from China.

Family is really important there. They just walk in and out of each other’s houses unannounced as if it were there own.

The thing that shocked me the most though is how about 90% or so of men seem to smoke. Like it’s a given or something. But almost no women seem to smoke.

#67

Huge family events, and family actually wants to be in your life and do things all the time to a fault, my wife is from Zimbabwe and when we planned to wed, I had to go through what’s called labola. Which is a shona wedding ceremony, it was all very interesting and bizarre at the same time.

#68

Not interracial but a cultural thing

​
So my grandpa came from a long line of Scots, loud family and large gatherings. my grandma though had a much smaller English family.

Whenever my Grandpa brought my Grandma to thanksgiving dinner everyone was loud and yelling at each other, typical family gathering. Whenever they left my Grandma broke down crying, my grandpa asked why she was crying. she thought that my Grandpa’s family was Mad at her and that she had caused a rift or something. My Grandpa was shocked and just explained that that was how it was and no one was mad at each other or her.

#69

Wife is swedish and eats the most horrifying rotten fish (surstrømming). God, just thinking about them makes me want to vomit..

#70

I was shocked when I learned that my Korean girlfriend (now wife) and her family slept on the floor. It was all the more shocking because she was wildly successful.

I lived in Korea for over 4 years and never knew that a lot of them sleep on the floor. It’s a 1st world country, but they all have heated floors so they just roll out a pad and soak up the warmth.

#71

My boyfriend is second generation Greek and I’m the most milquetoast white American family ever. It’s shocking the amount of immediate friends he makes with other Greek people- we got curbside food for takeout the other day, the chef asked him where he was from (because of his beard), turns out their both Greek and bam suddenly he gets free special food and extra drinks for us. This is not a rare occasion either!

#72

He basically speaks another language and has a completely different demeanour talking to his Caribbean family vs me and my white family. I have to ask what they’re saying an embarrassing amount!

Edit: changed ‘why they’re saying’ to ‘what they’re saying’.

#73

Home names. Fijian Indian people have normal names, but then a completely different unrelated name that only their family use for them. Kind of like a nick name but it’s usually not based on their actual name or even anything else and only their family would use it for them. In fact most of the time no one can explain where the name came from or why they just don’t use their normal name. And almost all of them have this. I didn’t believe that it was a standard thing until I asked other Fijian Indians I knew that weren’t related to my partner. And they all went “Yeah that’s definitely a thing. Why is that weird?” It just blew my mind that almost every single person has hidden nicknames.

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