Spread the love

You can’t write the perfect comeback. These gems typically come from a creative, quick-witted mind that can deliver sick burns at will, like Oprah Winfrey giving out brand-new cars to her studio audience.

You can, however, draw inspiration from the best ones online. Here are some of those we’ve collected and compiled into this list, which you can bookmark for future reference. Feel free to analyze them anytime and see why these work so well.

But in the meantime, you can read through them and be thoroughly entertained, too.

#1

“all quiet on the frontal lobe” is one i heard today and i can’t get over it

#2

“Somewhere out there is a tree providing you oxygen find it and apologize”

#3

Shakespeare’s gems: “Let’s meet as little as we can.” “I do desire we may be better strangers.”

#4

As a person who worked in a call center my favorite was “I can explain it for you, but I cannot understand it for you”

#5

my personal fav “when the wind blows, does your head whistle?”

#6

“I’m not saying you’re the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope the dumbest person in the world doesn’t die” I heard an old white guy say it and I bust out laughing every time I think of or hear it

#7

“Ur probably the first person ive met to reach their full potential “

#8

“I love that you don’t let facts get in the way of your opinions”

#9

I’m sure you brighten every room you leave

#10

“I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

#11

“I would insult you, but then id have to explain the insult to you and I just dont have that kind of time.”

#12

“I know you tried your best, that’s what makes it so disappointing”

#13

“You should start a business… and mind it” is my favorite

#14

U have a unique way of speaking that makes people appreciate your silence

#15

heard this one recently “your two cents is why they’re getting rid of pennies”

#16

„I would explain it slower, but I don’t believe speed is the problem.”

#17

“You couldn’t dump water out of a boot even if the instructions were on the bottom”

#18

“I really admire your courage to speak in the absence of knowledge”

#19

“I envy the people that don’t know you”

#20

“As sharp as a marble”

#21

“i see you’ve set boundaries between yourself and common sense “

#22

“You possess a mind that is completely unburdened by the complications of thought”

#23

“I see you’re committed to your current level of understanding”

#24

This is my work insult: That’s an interesting conclusion you have come to considering the resources available to you.

#25

“Now that you’ve made the wrong answer obvious to everyone we can continue”

#26

Working with you is like working alone but harder

#27

“I know you’re trying YOUR best but can you try someone else’s?”

#28

Besides the obvious what would you change about yourself

#29

Your learning curve must be a circle

#30

I admire your simplicity when it comes to critical thinking

#31

I love telling people. “I hope you have the day you deserve.”

#32

“and you were the fastest swimmer?”

#33

“I expect nothing from you and you somehow still manage to let me down”

#34

“thank you for showing me the person i don’t want to be”

#35

Someone called someone a Honda civic on here once and it still makes me giggle

#36

Somebody told me I look like a left handed drawing

#37

I’m jealous of the people that haven’t met you yet

#38

“It must be so peaceful inside your mind”

#39

I saw someone get called an irregular verb earlier today

#40

girl i was told by a kid “my aura has ads”

#41

“Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster”

#42

If brains were measured in cotton, you’d have enough to make a tampon for a flea

#43

Someone said I “look like I earn Monopoly money”

#44

Someone said “whatever makes u feel taller”

#45

Shake ya head and let me know if you hear rocks

#46

I read somewhere “I want you to be a pallbearer at my funeral so you can let me down one more time”

#47

My home girl loves calling people “facially challenged” and honestly it’s always stuck with me

#48

“You have a brilliant future behind you.”

#49

Not arguing with someone who should’ve been swallowed

#50

calling someone a busted radiator has been mine lately

#51

The answer is trying to catch you but you’re just too fast!

#52

Heard someone say “you make water look like it has calories” and I haven’t been the same since

#53

“Not even Ed Sheeran could describe the Shape Of u”

#54

“You couldn’t find your way out of a wet paper bag, with scissors in both hands.”

#55

“I see you’re allergic to effort”

#56

As my Grammy said “you’re as sharp as a circle”

#57

my sister calls me a “troglodyte” on the regular

#58

Telling a man that you love his pixie cut

#59

keep smiling yellow is my favorite color

from Bored Panda https://ift.tt/VMsRqhp
via IFTTT source site : boredpanda

Bored Panda, IFTTT

#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

#11

#12

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#18

#19

#20

#21

#22

#23

#24

#25

#26

#27

#28

#29

#30

#31

#32

#33

#34

#35

#36

#37

#38

#39

#40

#41

#42

#43

#44

#45

#46

#47

#48

#49

#50

#51

#52

#53

#54

#55

#56

#57

#58

#59

Related Posts

“You Have Found The Holy Grill”: 42 Funny Comments That Are Well Worth Retweeting

48 Ironic Responses To Nonsensical Posts That Brought Back Harmony To The Internet (New Pics)

65 Weirdly Interesting Facts People Somehow Have Stored In Their Brains

86 Size Comparisons That Might Make You Understand The True Scale Of Some Things

65 Camera Roll Photos That Need Absolutely No Explanation (But We’d Love One Anyway)

Woman’s Scary Fixation Over Groom Takes An Unsettling Turn A Year Later: “Absolutely Unhinged”

Leave a Reply