There’s this misconception that all, or most, twins are thick as thieves. They once shared a womb together, and know each other better than anyone else. But it turns out that sometimes, the good twin/evil twin narrative we see in movies isn’t too far from the truth.
A cousin has spilled the beans on some wedding drama that rocked the boat of a wealthy family. According to her, this family splurges on an boat cruise every few years. One such vacation hit an iceberg when the dad decided he’d postpone it so that he could pay for his daughter’s extravagant wedding instead. The bride’s twin sister lost it, accusing her of being selfish and ruining everyone’s year by getting married.
Their family cruise was put on ice so that the bride’s father could pay for his daughter’s lavish wedding
Image credits: http://www.kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her twin sister is furious, and has demanded that the bride postpones the wedding because she’s ruining everyone’s year
Image credits: Blake Cheek / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: khezez | خزاز / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: robo-dragon
The cousin later revealed that while the “good twin” was torn up about her decision, she stuck to it
Image credits: http://www.kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Twin estrangement is more common than you might think, here’s why…
Many people think of twins as having the perfect relationship but this is simply often not the case. In fact, some experts say that twins fight worse than other siblings and hold onto resentments for much longer.
“There’s such an ingrained belief that twins have an ideal relationship, that twins are icons of idealized intimacy, and sometimes that’s true, but often it’s not,” says Barbara Klein, an expert on the development of twins. Klein adds that because twins are supposed to get along, estrangement between them can cause deep shame.
Dr. Joan Friedman, another expert on twins, notes that while twins fight just like different-aged siblings, “their tensions have much more to do with establishing separateness and uniqueness, traits afforded naturally to siblings born at different times.”
“Twin estrangement that grows out of unresolved anger, disappointment, and resentment is emotionally complicated and confusing,” Klein writes. The expert herself has first-hand experience of this, revealing she was “estranged and then connected and then disconnected” from her own twin sister for over 45 years.
Klein describes twins as “born married” because they have a unique bond. But that doesn’t always mean they’re close.
“What is unique about twinship is the level of conflict between twins, which can come after harmony, almost instantly,” she explains. “Conflicts over differences of opinion—what belongs to whom, or who is more favored or entitled—are ongoing discussions that create intense unhappiness and confusion.”
According to Klein, harmonious happiness can easily be totally wiped out by a superficial fight over a dress, toy, or sweet treat.
“Profound fights about the best college to go to or the right man or woman to marry can become ruthless and hateful, and often cause nonstop fighting and alliances in the nuclear and extended family,” adds the twin expert.
Friedman says that rivalry in adult twins has “everything to do with wanting to be on one’s own and discovering one’s singular sense of self without worrying how this will disrupt and upset one’s twin.”
Klein reveals that even when they’re estranged, twins yearn for each other.
“All twins long for the closeness they shared from conception into childhood. The bond twins share is primary; like the mother-child bond, it cannot be replaced,” she says. “Misunderstood and mistreated by each other, twin communication can be destroyed because of fighting and unrealistic expectations.”
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Some felt the drama was worthy of becoming a movie
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