We hear lots of toxic stories about fat-shaming and how people need to defend themselves against mean comments about their bodies. But a guy recently got the internet talking about skinny-shaming, after an encounter he says he had with his boss.
The employee’s manager has nicknamed him “Sparrow,” which he explains is interpreted as a small, skinny, and frail person in his native language. After one too many jabs about his weight (or lack thereof), the man decided to dish up a plate of petty revenge for his superior, and proceeded to serve it cold as ice.
He says he’s happy, healthy, has a normal BMI, and merely “presents as skinny”
Image credits: Becomes Co / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But his boss won’t stop commenting on his weight… so he came up with a plan to shut him up
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)
He later clarified some points and reminded people that they never need to justify their bodies
Image credits: Spiky_Pineapple_2841
Image credits: Andres Ayrton / Pexels (not the actual photo)
How to react when someone makes a comment about your body, the experts weigh in
There’s an unwritten rule that we should never comment on someone’s weight. But as with many other rules, not everyone obeys it…
There could be a hundred different reasons why some gained or lost weight. And quite frankly, it’s nobody else’s business. Unless that person volunteers the information.
Minding someone else’s business when it comes to their weight can actually do more harm than many might realize. Especially if that person is fighting a battle regarding eating or is in recovery from a disorder. One misplaced comment could send them spiraling into harmful thoughts or behaviors. And that applies to compliments too…
“When we compliment someone about their weight change, we (1) assume it was intentional and (2) assume it has been a positive, non-disordered experience for the individual,” explains Sydney Fitzgibbons, a Recovery Ambassador Council member for the Eating Recovery Center. “This type of comment may be an invitation for someone to question how they looked before. Or it may be the comment that confirms their disordered thoughts. Compliment their intellect, smile, humor, vibe, warmth … not their weight.”
Tess Holliday is a plus-size model and has become used to people commenting on her weight. But she’s also become a pro at shutting them down. Holliday made headlines in 2022 for the way she responded to a woman who had body-shamed her in a waiting room.
“Ma’am, I am one of the most famous plus-size models in the world. I think I’m doing OK,” she quipped. Experts say if you’re ever on the receiving end of weight comments, you can use something similar. Anything in your life that you’re proud of, whether it’s being a great mom, your career, your academic degrees, your sports accolades, etc.
“Wow, do you normally comment on people’s weight like that? How do they usually respond when you say that to them?” is a ‘terrific’ way to respond if someone tells you you’re fat or makes an otherwise offensive comment, says Kelli Rugless, a Los Angeles-based psychologist.
She says a clapback like this takes the attention away from your weight and appearance and redirects it to the person making the comment or asking the question. It also encourages them to reflect on their behavior.
It’s an opportunity to provide “honest feedback on how insulted or hurt the other person’s comment made you feel,” Rugless explains.
Be confident when you say it, the expert advises. Little emotion and steady eye contact go a long way. “In the same way they put you on the spot, you’re returning the favor,” she says, “and not attempting to relieve or rush through their discomfort.”
The guy beefed up the story with more info as the comments came in thick and fast
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