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If you’ve ever sat for hours trying to create the perfect bio for a dating app – typing, deleting, typing again – we feel your pain. Oh, the pure pressure. You’re supposed to come across as genuine, funny, smart, intriguing and all that jazz, but you need to do it in a way that makes you really jump out from all the other fish in the sea.

Those in the know say the top-performing Tinder bios are under 30 words, and say a lot in a little space of time. Then there the ones that make it onto a list of a different kind: chaotic, cringeworthy, unhinged, clever and downright iconic. They’re the gems that might not necessarily receive right swipe, but certainly do stop people in their tracks for long enough to screenshot and share.

There’s an entire corner of the internet dedicated to these masterpieces and it’s where people go to roast someone else’s bio, or showcase their own. Aptly called Tinder Bios, the wall is quite a ride and it doesn’t fail to disappoint.

Bored Panda has selected the best posts from the community for you to scroll through when you’re bored of swiping left or right. From Jesus, who claims to be several thousand years old, to the more simple human being who says they like to breathe air and walk on legs, many of these prove just how strange modern-day dating has become.

#1 Idk. Seems Convincing

3 in 10 Americans have used a dating app to find love, and more than a quarter have ended up dating someone they met on one of these platforms. That’s according to a Pew Research Center survey.

Interestingly, the same poll found that men are significantly less satisfied with the amount of attention they garner from possible matches on dating apps. Many said they struggle to feel visible on apps like Tinder, and feel ignored or undesirable compared to their female peers.

But at least one expert says the ones who are complaining the most could actually be to blame.

#2 She Is The Chosen One!!!!!!!!

#3 Nailed It!

World-renowned relationship therapist, Dr Laura Berman says men tend to assume that women think like they do.

“In other words, they think women just look at their photos and decide whether or not to swipe left or right,” she explains. “Not so. Women are going to spend much more time reading your profile and looking for possible connections and possible red-flags.”

Berman goes on to say men who (regardless of their profile pic) have a low-effort profile, or a profile that feels “dicey” to women, shouldn’t be surprised when the right swipes are winning the Tinder Olympics.

#4 Oof

#5 Just Made This

#6 Damn. Pappy Off The Hook

Another mistake the expert says she spots a lot is men portraying bitterness or self-pity in their bios.

“I see guys on apps like Tinder saying ‘This is silly but why not give it a shot’ or ‘Let’s see if anyone will actually swipe right on a middle-aged dad.’ They think they’re being funny or self-deprecating, but it’s really hard to judge tone online, especially if you don’t know someone, so it just comes off as desperate or negative,” warns Berman.

The therapist shares similar thoughts when it comes to bragging or bravado. Her advice is to just keep it real but be positive.

#7 Its Fate

#8 I Think She’s The One

#9 Roll Tide

As Berman stated, tone can be hard to judge when it’s written in a bio. So while you may want to come across as funny, it’s wise to avoid jokes or quips that read as creepy, scary or insensitive.

Here’s looking at you, Mr “I’ll chloroform and rob you.” That line probably won’t land as well as you might want it to, and could likely have the left swipes piling up faster than you can say “Boo!”