People are not always as great and amazing as they might seem at first. At one point or another, we are bound to see the person’s true colors and intent. More often than not, it’s not that bad, and we learn to live with our differences. However, this online thread is not dedicated to those types of stories.

After this Redditor asked, “What’s the fastest you’ve ever gone from caring about someone to straight up loathing them?” people swarmed to share their experiences, which range from sad to absolutely bonkers. So if you’re missing some drama in your life, this is the article for you. And if you have your own stories to share, please do so in the comment section below.

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#1

The first girl I ever dated died unexpectedly on my then current gf and my’s 3 year anniversary. My then gf stated she was [angry] because my ex had “Died on purpose that day because it was our anniversary”. I was utterly disgusted and it completely changed how I viewed her all together. Things fell apart shortly after and we broke up

© Photo: JudgementalChair

#2

friend at a bar tells some people we just met how her mother died, later in the night i express my sympathy — now she’s without parents. she’d told me hush-hush a few years prior about how father had passed. “wait did i tell you back then my dad died? i thought i told you it was my mum! no, both my parents are still alive; when we were in uni **i just read in a book telling people a parent has died is an good way to get sympathy, ha ha!**” f*****g sociopath

© Photo: redditsavedmyagain

We asked Dr. Claudia Brumbaugh some questions about this topic, and she shared some amazing insights. We asked her if she thinks cutting people out of your life is a good thing: “When people are a negative influence on your life it might make sense for your own well-being to cut people out. For instance, Eisenkraft & Elfenbein (2010) identified ‘negative affective presence’ in some people. They found that certain other people accounted for 23% of the variance of one’s own negative emotions.

And one’s own trait affect accounted for 19% of the variance in one’s own negative emotions, which means that others are just as responsible for your negative emotions as you are. This shows some people have a negative presence that affects one’s own emotions in a negative way. If you keep these people in your life, they will have an ongoing negative impact on your emotional state.”

#3

I kinda like you. “Your autism is probably caused by vaccines” Okay, I kinda liked you ten seconds ago.

© Photo: IlPinguino93

#4

When the guy I’d been *really* into got a little tipsy and confessed to me he’d had an affair with a married woman. Ok, he was young and it’s not that uncommon when we’re immature, overly emotional and idealistic and selfish. It had been off and on for 20 years. And possibly produced 2 children. Who they just let her husband raise no matter whose they were because Guy I’d Been Seeing “just wouldn’t be a good father”. I have never, before or since, experienced such a moment of instant shock, disgust, and loathing. I was just like “Hey, thanks for telling me you’re trash early on. Saved me a lot of time”, left him at the restaurant and took a Lyft home. He called me for 2 days wanting to “explain”. There would be a possible explanation for a short fling when young and dumb. There is nothing that explains THAT. Edit, since no one can do math. The affair started when this man was in his 20s. He and I were both in our 40s when we briefly dated. Some people on Reddit are above the age of 20.

We also wondered why people pretend to be someone else in the first place: “Because everyone basically knows what is attractive. For hetero women that is easier to know since men have more consensus in what they are looking for in a female partner (e.g., femininity, curvaceousness, seductive qualities). Women are much more variable in what they are looking for.

Also, stereotypes are partially true. Evolutionary theory provides explanations and cross-cultural data showing that men care more about beauty and youth, and women care more about status and earning power. To ‘pretend,’ women could do something like wear makeup to look more flawless/youthful, and men could pretend by renting a luxury car for a day.

And finally, narcissists are charming and attractive on first impression. They’re not really ‘pretending’ though, that’s just how they come off at first. Later, upon getting to know them better, their arrogance and manipulative nature often damage the relationship beyond repair.”

#5

2 minutes, he pranked me by making me think he was gonna [end] himself, then he got a friend to text me that he did and that I was my fault for not responding sooner. When I was having a full on panic attack and almost killing myself out of guilt he told me it was a prank and the two friends asked me if I wanted to have a [intimacy]. (I have depression, suicidal thoughts and yes he knew that.)

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#6

As fast as it took for his wife to call me at work to tell me that he was not only married, but had three children including a newborn.

© Photo: GenJonesMom

Doctor Claudia Brumbaugh shared if there are any telltale signs to show someone’s faking: “There are many ways to be ‘fake,’ so that’s a tough question. People are pretty good at reading others’ personalities though, even within a couple of minutes. Evolutionary theorists say we have a ‘cheater detection mechanism.'”

#7

I loved (still love) playing Pokémon and I had no female friends with the same interest. Found out about this group of guys that played it after school. Got really excited and made plans with them. I waited for hours and they never showed up… next day I overhear my best childhood friend laughing about how annoying I was and that they had to hide from me to play in peace. That really hurt

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#8

My father abandoned me and my ill mother. He just, ran away. I am a single child so I had to take care of her on my own. It was hard. I loathed him, hated him. I no longer hate him, just fogot about him. Hating someone for too long takes a heavy toll. I am grateful to have had the chance to take care of my mother and help her get well.

© Photo: Loeb123

And lastly, we wondered if it’s easy to go from loving someone to absolutely hating them: “True love/attachment would be unlikely to turn to loathing quickly. Love develops over time and fosters commitment and pair-bonding. However, [want] could turn to loathing since perhaps one didn’t have enough time to really get to know who the person was during those early lustful days/weeks.”

#9

When my grandfather screamed at my mother that she had ruined his life by being born. Never spoke to him again after that.

© Photo: Coogles

#10

Ex and I dated off and on for 5 years. Birth control failed and I wound up pregnant. The minute I told him he completely changed – called me every name in the book. Threatened to beat the sh*t out of me so I would miscarry. After he ordered me to abort/adopt her out I said that I wanted to keep her but would leave his name off the birth certificate. He said “No, if you have her then I want her. I’ll fight you for her and make your life miserable.” And even though she’s a teenager, he’s still trying to get full custody and take her away.

#11

My husband adopted my son when he was 3 after being in his life since he was 1. Gave him his last name the whole nine yards. When we had a child of our own (who was a girl) and decided we were done having kids; His mother said to me it’s a-shame we aren’t having more kids, As she would have liked someone to carry on the family name. I have only tolerated her at holidays ever since.

#12

A co-worker was talking to me about the issues he was having with his 12 year old step-daughter. Another co-worker sitting by us asked; “have you tried [forced intimacy] her?”. Thought he was an OK guy, but not after that line. The day he was fired was a good day. Follow up: He had only worked there about 2 months, didn’t talk much, so that was a pretty messed up first comment to a private conversation. I think (or hope) he was trying to be funny. He was fired about 9 days later, no reason was given to the rest of the crew, boss just said “Greg has been let go”.

#13

When i was younger I found out one of my childhood friends was stealing from me and the friendship group. Every so often we would ‘lose’ a phone or Ipod then said friend would have conveniently got the same model but beat it up a bit with his initials in tipex or something stupid. Being a good friend we didnt want to believe it but we started putting distinct markings on our items. Low and behold my phone goes missing and he turns up with the same one a few weeks later with the markings. We brought him up on it but he just lost his temper and stormed off. 15 years later hes in prison for armed robbery…. Edit: Obligatory ‘that blew up/RIP inbox’

© Photo: Snow776

#14

When he found out my ex was black and was disgusted by that. Went from a nice guy who I could maybe see a future with to complete racist pos who I never wanted to see again.

#15

My, at the time girlfriend, had a little sister. She was graduating from college, and her college was not close by. It was a few states away, and at least a 5hr drive. We both loved the sister, but we weren’t going to make it to her graduation. We couldn’t afford a hotel for the weekend, and we couldn’t take off from work to get there on time. She FREAKED out on us. It was the biggest tantrum I’ve seen an adult make. My GF and I both assumed it wasn’t that big of a deal, but seeing how much her sister freaked out, we re-evaluated the situation. So, we packed up quickly, and drove through the night to get there. She told us we could sleep in her apartment that night, but that we’d need to get a hotel the following night. That was fine, we found something online for like $100/night. We got to her place in record time. It was not even midnight. We felt like heroes for making up so quickly. We get to her apartment – and she won’t let us in. She says she’s already in bed, and we should have gotten there earlier if we wanted to take her up on her offer. So, we’re both exhausted, and we have nowhere to stay. I wanted to just turn around and go back home, but my GF was a better person than me. Luckily we had other friends in the city, and one was nice enough to give us their couches for the night. It’s been like 15 years, and I assume the sister was getting one last lay with a college hook-up, because I could not imagine any other scenario where she couldn’t simply walk down 2 flights of stairs to open the door for us. I ended up marrying the GF, and still bring up this situation anytime she gets in a fight with her sister. It’s usually ‘I can’t believe how selfish my sister is being.’ and I go ‘you can’t!? remember that time we drove to her college gra…’ and she cuts me off. of course she also remembers it.

© Photo: User

#16

There’s an older woman at work who seemed pretty ok. Then I overheard her talking about her toddler granddaughter, saying that she’s “a little [working woman]” and “shakes her booty at any man” and that sexualizing of a kid creeped me right out. Edit: spelling

#17

When my best friend of 10 years slept with my boyfriend of 2 years. I was so crushed but to be honest was more angry with the friend. I truly did believe that I was deeply in love with the boyfriend but he was kind of a s**t head to begin with….I saw my friend as a sister and her betrayal left longer lasting impact and hurt way more. I hated her in a violent way for a very long time…fast forward 11 years and now I am to a point where I have forgiven her and wish her well but would never let her back into my life again.

© Photo: ForestRoos

#18

1yr friendship with this girl. I invited her over to my new apartment. She came over and wanted to gossip about her coworkers. When she paused, I tried to add in to the conversation (make a joke, give reassurance, add a comment, etc) but she would immediately raise her voice and start talking over me. I kept getting angrier every time it happened until I was actually loathing her internally. She was so self absorbed that she didn’t notice I went from smiling & engaged to frowning while staring off into space. After 2+ hours of not being allowed to talk, I made up an excuse to kick her out of the apartment and then vowed to never see her again.

© Photo: to-love-a-workaholic

#19

A former friend bailed on me when we were supposed to hang out and so I called my then girlfriend to see what she was doing and I could hear him talking to her parents in the background…

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#20

Talking to my then gf about her cheating on me. Explaining I couldn’t ever possibly trust her again, and she replied “But do you really need to trust me?” Clearly had different ideas on what’s required for a healthy relationship. EDIT: For context. Relationship was 6 years long. We had been talking about marriage. We owned a dog together. This was the second instance of cheating. This conversation was what pushed me over the edge into the territory of self respect. Broke up with her the next day. Much happier since.

© Photo: Jazmer1

#21

My ex girlfriend. We were childhood sweethearts. Dated from 17 to 25. Found out she was cheating on me with her boss, who was more than twice our age. Then proceeded to find out there was many more occurrences and she was a very different person than the person I’d been dating. Shattered.

© Photo: Navaro27

#22

When he straight up denied my existence in front of his friends.

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