For some, grief softens with time, and for others, it lingers as a quiet presence in every chapter that follows.
Reddit user Cassievvvah thought she could make peace with her husband’s memories of his late girlfriend. Before they married, he was upfront about how much she had meant to him before she passed away.
But now, as the couple prepares to welcome their first child, that trust has been shaken. Her husband wants to name the baby after his ex, and he isn’t letting the idea go.
Can you ever really move on after losing the love of your life?
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
This woman started to worry about how much her husband was still holding onto the past
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Cassievvvah
Turns out, a lot of people try to name their children after their exes
A few years ago, Instagram model Sumner Stroh alleged that she not only had an affair with Maroon 5’s vocalist Adam Levine, but that a few months later, he messaged her out of nowhere, saying his wife was pregnant.
According to Stroh’s screenshots, Levine’s text said: “Ok serious question. I’m having another baby and if it’s [a] boy I really wanna name it Sumner. You ok with that?”
The singer later released a statement denying the affair. “I used poor judgment in speaking with anyone other than my wife in ANY kind of flirtatious manner. I did not have an affair, nevertheless, I crossed the line during a regrettable period in my life,” it read.
Levine said that “in certain instances it became inappropriate,” but that he had “addressed that and taken proactive steps to remedy this with my family.”
Following these developments, many women tweeted, revealing that they, too, had been named after their dad’s exes, “the other woman,” or old crushes.
Even the woman behind this story didn’t see it coming
Experts say couples should extensively discuss baby names as they’re getting ready to have one
HuffPost asked two experts to share their thoughts on the topic, and baby name consultant Taylor A. Humphrey said that it’s typically the women who are the name innovators in the relationship. Men aren’t thinking about the significance as much.
“In my business, I’ve noticed that women tend to be more dialed into the realm of possibility when it comes to names,” she explained.
“As connective and communal creatures, women have friends, sisters, and cousins who are having babies and are more likely to take note of what those children’s names are, giving them vast reserves of creativity when it comes to naming their own children.”
Men, on the other hand, tend to consider what they’ve heard before, which includes who they’ve interacted with and what they’ve grown comfortable with.
“It’s why they’re more likely to recommend an ex’s name if they had a positive association with that person,” Humphrey said. “It’s a way of transferring their positive memories from one person onto their offspring.”
Pamela Redmond, the CEO of baby naming site Nameberry, thinks cases like this one highlight why it’s a good idea to compile a list of names that are strictly off-limits.
“People rule out names associated with a creepy kid from fourth grade or an unappealing literary character, so why not an ex?” Redmond said.
“It doesn’t matter how nice the name is, I don’t think you should use an ex for a baby, period,” she added. “You may not have residual feelings, but the name still has … strong associations that are very different for both parents, and that can cause future conflicts.”
Most of those who read the woman’s confession believe she’s not overreacting
Some, however, think she should compromise
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