Whether we’re opening our mouths without thinking, have social anxiety, or are just trying to cut through an awkward silence, everyone is bound to say something foolish every once in a while.

So it should come as no surprise that when Reddit user AlgorithmOmega asked people on the platform to share the dumbest statements they’ve heard, the responses came pouring in, showcasing just how common and relatable these moments are.

#1

Have a misogynistic coworker who claimed the male lions do all the hunting, because he couldn’t stand the idea of a female anything being better.

Image credits: anon

#2

I write software, had a boss with little technical knowledge for a bit.

He asked me to ‘make the software do X or Y depending on what the user wanted when they clicked the button’. I asked what he meant, he got upset, told me it was simple. If the user wants X to happen when they click the button, do that! If they want Y to happen when they click the button, do that! At first I thought maybe he meant there was some other way to figure that out from context.. but no, ultimately he meant ‘read the users mind and intent when they click the button’.

Image credits: supercyberlurker

#3

“Women are responsible for men’s loneliness epidemic.”

My dudes: Go get yourself a friend, a hobby, a dog. Your relationships, entertainment, and play dates are not our responsibility.

#4

“If you don’t have children, God will punish you”.

Image credits: Remote-Direction963

#5

The earth is flat and only 6000 years old.

Image credits: Persephone2009

#6

I used to work at a movie theatre and I would encounter dumb statements/questions on the daily.

The stupidest by far?

“if we’re late to the movie, do we get a discount?”

Image credits: sandwichthedog

#7

“You shouldn’t speak Spanish if you’re not Mexican”

– a customer who got mad at me for helping another customer in Spanish

Image credits: ZijoeLocs

#8

“Only real men weigh over 100 kg” overheard at the gym

Image credits: StoneSlacker

#9

Windmills cause cancer.

Global warming isn’t real because it’s cold outside.

Image credits: AlgorithmOmega

#10

“If we’re going south, how are we going uphill?”

Image credits: AnimatedHokie

#11

“Healthy women don’t get periods.”

#12

That’s why you have autism!

Response to “Well I’m getting the vax being I don’t want to die”

My response to that was “I thought you get Autism **after** the vaccine?”

Image credits: H010CR0N

#13

The US has “never been a racist country” is up there. Leaving out the fact that the civil war was fought over slavery is pretty stupid too.

Image credits: germane_switch

#14

There was a certain politician that, speaking about some military business, said "I know more about that than the generals". He was wrong.

Image credits: Upstairs-Radish1816

#15

Coworker: “If vegans care about animals so much, and they eat all the vegetables, then all the animals who eat vegetables will go hungry”

He genuinely thought it was some gotcha about vegans and I had to jump out of the argument for a minute to be like “wait is that actually something you think could happen?” Apparently we’re competing with rabbits in a zero sum game of who can eat the most carrots

#16

You’ll use less gas if you drive fast because you get there sooner…..friends little sister. 40 years ago.

Image credits: TheCanadianPrimate

#17

On a conservative forum, some person was lamenting cost of his medical procedure AFTER insurance paid their part.

“I can’t image how much it would cost if it were free!” 

Image credits: SnooMemesjellies7469

#18

It’s your duty as a woman to have a child and whether you want one or not, doesn’t matter.

Image credits: anon

#19

“There’s no such thing as mental health”

Parents say the weirdest s**t sometimes

Image credits: Co0lus3rn4me

#20

“I was angry, I could do whatever I want.”

Image credits: mrmulticultural99

#21

Coworker: “I know that’s what I wrote, but that’s not what I meant!”

#22

“This is a tough hurricane, one of the wettest we’ve ever seen, from the standpoint of water.”

Image credits: cardinalbard

#23

“The vaccine can’t survive 24h outside the fridge, and our body is not a fridge, so the vaccine can’t last more than 24h in our body.”

It took me 10second to even comprehend and recover from the stupidity of the statement.

Image credits: Keysrin

#24

“I don’t get why they keep changing the all the sciencey facts in schools.” – Some lady at a truck stop in Louisiana.

Image credits: Past-File3933

#25

“The way you’re raised has nothing to do with the way you turn out”

– my mom to me when I called her out on her behaviour

Image credits: JoeyJoJoShabadooYEAH

#26

“I wouldn’t say it was a failure, I’d say it didn’t work” – E. Macron

#27

“American Healthcare has some issues, but it’s still the best in the world” some ignorant redneck to me, a literal nurse working in an American ICU while he accumulates tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt

#28

When I was playing WoW and every guild having their own forum was a thing, a guild member posted some photos of his kills from a hunt.

Now it’s important to say that at the time I didn’t have strong opinions on hunting, and this in particular is not the point of the stupid statement, but is the cause of it.

The whole guild of members made fun of him for killing defenseless animals to the point where he made the following comment, slightly paraphrased because it’s been 18 years:

“OH YEA WELL YOU GUYS THINK YOURE SO INNOCENT GOING IN AND KILLING RAGNAROS EVERY WEEK AND ALL OF THOSE RAID BOSSES?”

To be clear, he was comparing actually hunting a defenseless animal to killing bosses in a video game, and yes he was very serious.

#29

If dinosaurs were real wouldn’t I see more of their bones laying around.

Image credits: iiM_Nuckin_Futz

#30

“If China’s been around for so long, how come they never invented anything?”

If it were a genuine, ignorant question, that’d be one thing, but it was rhetorically asked as if to say China’s never accomplished anything. Baffling.

#31

“you weren’t poor growing up like me. That’s why you didn’t eat bananas as a kid”

The stupid thing was she wasn’t poor.

Image credits: dinoaids

#32

Had a friend insist Hawaii is a seperate country, not a US state. (We’re both Americans) I’m still very embarrassed that we both attended the same high school.

Image credits: Scribe625

#33

“The center of the Galaxy and the earth are aligned! We so are in the end times!”

To which I responded, “two points are always aligned, it’s called a line!”

He was super religious by the way…

Image credits: TheEPGFiles

#34

Watching an episode of The First 48. A detective investigating a murder says, “Nobody expects to go to sleep and wake up dead the next morning.”

Image credits: HeyYall4792

#35

Bill Gates tried to block the sun with chemicals

Image credits: PayasoCanuto

#36

“The Bible is historical fact and never contradicts itself.”

“No matter where you are, you’re always going North.”

“You can’t cook with gas.”

“Cool ranch doritos are ranch flavored?!?” -Me-

Image credits: Sparkyninja38

#37

“I’m a very stable genius.”

#38

Heard from a guy I was working with over the weekend. He was on the phone with his mom.
“Im not even going to vote. I just hate politics nowadays. Now if I say i hate black people, they say I’m a racist. What’s so racist about that?!”

#39

In the middle of a “Bill Gates created Covid to microchip us” (which itself is pretty up there) rant: “He tested it in Africa. There were no diseases in Africa until Bill Gates went there and started spreading them”

#40

“I’m not racist my dogs black”Heard it more than once. Abhorrent statement to make. And yes that is the first time I’ve used that word Abhorrent in a sentence, but needs must.

#41

A Christian told me that “slavery in the Bible days is like being a live in nanny now,” and she said it with a straight face.

#42

“pseudoscience is still science”

#43

“I’ve met Boris Johnson; I think his heart’s in the right place.”

Image credits: Riffler

#44

Not really a statement but “what if Isaac Newton never invented gravity?”

#45

“The smell on your skin after using a tanning bed is the smell of your organs burning inside”. -She was dead serious. She now owns a skin clinic. Another example of why I don’t trust professionals just because they call themselves professionals

#46

I worked with someone who had a Bachelor’s degree and was a Registered nurse and I don’t remember why but the conversation about the sun being a star came up and she said “The sun isn’t a star, it’s too close. If it was a star it’d be a dot like the other ones.”

#47

The best way to find a job is to walk in the front door with a copy of your resume.

#48

I’m infertile just like my mom.

#49

“It’s just a bad cold.” Said by my mother who had Covid 5 times, 3 of her friends died from it and so did my step-dad, but like “it’s just a bad cold”.

#50

“Health at every size”.

#51

“ you can have your facts and I’ll have mine”

#52

The freezing temperature of water is 36 degrees. We all were baffled when we heard this said in the car by my friend’s girlfriend.

#53

Friend, in the pool, while choking…. “I couldn’t breathe underwater”….

He was 23 at the time.

#54

My personal favourite was the anti-vaxxer who told me all about how dangerous vaccines are. How many weird and toxic chemicals are in them, and what those chemicals would do to my body. Then she lit up a cigarette…

#55

I used to debate conservatives and Republicans online. The dumbest thing I ever heard any of them say was:

>”Within ten years of leaving office, George W. Bush will be ranked among the greatest U.S. Presidents of all time.”

#56

“In my day no one needed therapy”

#57

Heard a boomer I work with say to another in reference to a storm we were getting: “This generation has got the weather so f****d up nowadays.”

You might think he meant generation as in time period, but if you knew the guy like I do, you would know he was actually blaming young people for the weather being inclimate.

#58

I was talking about how terrible the homeless situation in America is and my step mother said “well It’s mostly brown people and that’s what they get for coming here illegally”. All I could do was lol and say you need to quit watching Faux news 24/7. The struggle is real people.

#59

I was working for a contracting company and doing work for a hospital. I started off just hooking up and moving PCs. Really basic stuff that anyone who can walk and chew gum could figure out. And a lot of the people they hired had a hard time with that.

After the project was done the hospital realized I wasn’t a moron and kept me around. I worked my way up to a system admin level job. And the contracting company had to cut my pay. I asked for a raise and explained to them how I was doing far more advanced work but I heard the stupidest thing I’ve ever been told.

My “boss” ( all he did was sign a check ) explained to me by getting a $2/hr pay cut I will be better off because I will be paying less taxes. I started off making $16/hr.

My contract ended a bit later and I got hired on directly and got a really nice raise.

#60

“I don’t date people with pronouns”

*insert eyeroll.*

Image credits: Charming_Wrapper

#61

You can only get HPV if you sleep with many men. If you stick to 1 partner, you are not at risk and don’t need the vaccine.

Because the virus checks if you have reached your duck quotum yet, before it hops off and into your vagina. Of course. And you can’t get it through aaaaany other means.

#62

“If you stay humble, work hard, and tell the truth, people will respect and reward you for it.”

Also

“It’s all part of God’s plan.”

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