Swear words and insults are an inescapable part of life. In fact, it’s hard to imagine humanity ever becoming so peaceful and kind that nobody would ever have anything bad to say about anyone else. There’s always going to be friction. Different perspectives, values, and agendas are always going to clash.
But for some people, simple and direct insults, though powerful, can get pretty mundane. User u/CoatedTrout4 recently inspired the r/AskReddit community to share their favorite subtle and creative insults that are beyond devastating. We’ve collected some of their most imaginative ones to share with you. Scroll down to check them out!
#1
“Everyone was right about you.”.
Image credits: RiflemanLax
#2
Wow, is that your real laugh?
Image credits: Perfect_Zone_4919
#3
“You look tired.”.
Image credits: dumbinternetstuff
There’s definitely a time and a place for swear words and insults. Swearing can relieve or distract us from pain, relieve stress, and even showcase linguistic creativity. However, you should not go around insulting everyone around you all day long just because you enjoy the rush. You’ll soon find that you no longer have any friends left!
However, a well-placed verbal jab or some witty banter can add color to everyone’s life. Especially if the other person has a good sense of humor and a dash of self-awareness to be able to laugh at themselves, too. Maybe they can appreciate how playful and intelligent your insult was. Of course, this only applies to situations where the person throwing around the insults isn’t completely mean-spirited.
#4
Man, you’re making that look real difficult.
Image credits: TypeGreen51
#5
I’m close to my sister and her friends. I’ve unironically heard, “I like how you’ll just wear anything” after they spent the past hour getting ready.
Image credits: GrammastolaRosea
#6
“Ah, so this is what everyone meant.”.
Image credits: mrlotato
Unfortunately, there will always be people who put others down to boost their own egos. They might have problems with self-esteem or self-image. But instead of working through their problems, they lash out at the world. Some folks become outright bullies. Others embrace passive aggression.
Robert N. Kraft, Ph.D., a professor of cognitive psychology at Otterbein University, argues that it’s not actually direct insults that do us the most harm. As it turns out, we’re most unsettled by casual put-downs because they catch us off guard.
According to the professor, subtle criticisms can be hidden or implied, take on the guise of a false compliment, or even masquerade as someone pretending to be concerned.
#7
> “You’re not making the point you think you are.”.
Image credits: garrettj100
#8
“You two look gorgeous” in the comments section of a social media post of a picture with 3 women in it.
Image credits: Witherboss445
#9
Man, I wish I had your confidence.
Also, one I always remember from xkcd: “the only thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you.”.
Image credits: zenspeed
However, subtle insults aren’t all-powerful. A lot depends on how you react to them. Or, to put it another way: is an insult still an insult if the person being insulted doesn’t feel insulted?
Professor Kraft urges people to first of all identify the hidden or implied insults. You can then directly confront the other person with a simple question and brief conversation. Or you move past the put-down by throwing out a general reply.
#10
(After a tirade or rude remark) “Are you okay”, spoken with the deepest sincerity.
Image credits: LurkingandPosting
#11
My days of not respecting you certainly are coming to a middle.
Image credits: fubes2000
#12
“He’s unburdened by the complications of a university education.”
Stolen from What We Do In The Shadows.
Image credits: mandiller
Alternatively, you could always downplay the put-down. For instance, you can acknowledge the insult and then either disagree with it or amplify it. If you throw some verbal playfulness into the mix, you can show that you’re not bothered.
At the end of the day, though, it’s up to each of us to decide who we spend time with. If we’re constantly dealing with a barrage of snarky remarks, maybe it’s time to focus on better friends.
What’s the most subtle but powerful insult you’ve ever heard, Pandas? Which of the put-downs in this post would you ever use in real life and why? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
#13
My brother told me that i looked easy to draw and i was too stunned to even say anything lmao.
Image credits: stealthy-cashew-69
#14
I’ve always liked, “you’re at the top of the bell curve.” .
Image credits: Reinmaker
#15
First of all, clean your teeth.
Image credits: Howitzer1967
#16
You’re difficult to underestimate.
Image credits: maplenut
#17
Couldn’t say it better than Ron Swanson
“When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.”.
Image credits: wh4tdoyoukn0w
#18
Five years ago, I met up with a friend. I asked her how my eyebrows were ( I had just waxed them and done them nicely). Her response: “I like the left one.”
Still remember that.
Image credits: KMermaid19
#19
After knowing you all these years, I truly consider you an acquaintance.
Image credits: madameporcupine
#20
Had this rude girl at work a few years back, who thought she was so hot and perfect and.. well you know the type. Anyway, one day I got sick of her attitude and said, “ Kendra, what’s it like being like the third hottest girl here?”
Drove her mad.
Image credits: kkerins86
#21
You look itchy.
#22
Ever been hit by the Gen Z special? “I love that for you!” Said with all the fake enthusiasm you can muster. Gut shot, every time.
#23
You seem like the kind of guy who would be embarrassed to buy tampons for his girlfriend.
#24
Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster.
#25
You have not been cursed with knowledge.
#26
My granddaughter asked me what I wore to bed in the 1900s. I was 49.
#27
I don’t.respect you enough for you to hurt my feelings.
#28
If you met youself you would regret every minute of the experience.
#29
I work at a grocery store that has a “senior day” once a month (they receive 10% off their entire order, includng alcohol and tobacco). I had a very rude young lady in my lane (probably late 30s). I added the senior discount, she saw it, and I said “I’m not quite sure if you qualify for the senior discount, but I gave it to you just in case. That’s 10% off your purchase
Have a nice day!” The look on her face was priceless. ?.
#30
The best line I heard was in a gym car park. A martial arts instructor was reversing his car and was nearly upended by a mid-40s feral in lycra on her P plates. She was looking for an argument and chose a soft target – country of origin based on appearance and skin colour. She fired off all insults based around the subject of “go back to where you came from”.
The guy, who I perceived to be much older, said, “In my country, abortion is illegal. But with you, we can make an exception.”.
#31
You might be smart enough to be a bimbo, but the looks just don’t qualify.
#32
As a woman, you have to be very careful when you use this one, but anything “oh wow are you trying something new with your makeup? (Or hair or insert something) Oh no it doesn’t look bad- it’s just interesting.” Did that to a girl who was bullying a friend of mine, she immediately shut up and seemed self conscious.
#33
When I was living I the UK I learned my favourite, most polite roast, of all times:
“You are so brave to say that”.
I love British sarcasm.
#34
Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder.
#35
Working with you is like working by myself, but harder.
#36
“You look like you have a dirty microwave”.
#37
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries…
#38
I have a beard that takes a bit to fully grow in. When I trim it down, it looks neater but for the first day or so it has spots that aren’t as full as others. I went to a wedding for my wife’s friend and one girl there said to me “I like your little beard or whatever that is” and it destroyed me. This was 5+ years ago and it still bothers me and affects my shaving routine.
Image credits: Suddenly_Something
#39
Walk away without a response.
#40
To someone who’s yelling at you “Oh wow, big feelings!!”.
#41
It looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays.
#42
I heard a kid say this before:
“You know I bet you eat your cereal with water, ’cause your dad never came back with the milk.”
Kinda basic but it hit the other guy hard.
#43
I just cooked dinner for my wife, she casually remarked after eating ‘shame the restaurant was closed today’.
Image credits: deadfish974
#44
I’ll say one that destroyed me. Overhead someone tell my ex girlfriend “you could do better.” In reference to me.
She eventually cheated on me btw.
#45
Boomer at work hit me with, “Damn, I bet your father wishes he had a son.” With the “let me show you how it’s done before you hurt yourself” kind of disapproving head shake and hand gesture.
Said while I was clearly lacking the strength to complete a basic mechanical task in front of a group of coworkers.
Ouch.
#46
I love the way you don’t care what anybody thinks.
#47
“Are you going to have *another* bad attitude today?”.
#48
Why is it no one likes you ?
#49
What’s the matter with your hair today?
#50
“Why can’t I meet someone like you?”.
#51
Never underestimate the power of okay:
“You’re ugly” okay
“You’re stupid” okay
“You’ll never be cool” okay
Stops them in their tracks and makes them look weird as hell for saying it in the first place.
#52
“Have the day you deserve!”.
#53
I had a really self-obsessed grade 12 student start bragging about how good looking he was, trying to get some girls’ attention. He said “people always tell me I look like a model.” I was at my desk marking, while the students were *supposed to be* working and, without even looking up I piped in with “Yah, a hand model.” His friends roared with laughter and I got many high fives. Even from the “model” kid.
#54
You are not the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be.
#55
Is that what you are wearing?
#56
I think you are talking about things that you don’t have the capacity to understand.
It went right over his head.
#57
My niece jiggled my belly and then called me fat lmao.
#58
Any insult said by a little kid.
#59
You’re trying too hard.
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