It takes a while to truly get to know someone. After all, painting yourself an accurate picture of a person’s values, dreams, and quirks usually requires more than one conversation. But not always. Sometimes, people have such incompatible traits or beliefs that we sense it right away.

So when Reddit user Velcroshell asked everyone on the platform to share the things they’d heard on the first date that prevented a second one, the responses started pouring in.

#1

She called her ex boyfriend “cheap” because he would only take her out to eat 2-3 times per week and cooked the other days.

Image credits: itsmeazp

#2

“Don’t call me. My husband checks my phone”.

Image credits: GrimeyScorpioDuffman

#3

He told me he didn’t feel comfortable that I was pursuing a doctorate because he didn’t like women who thought they were smarter than he was.

Image credits: No_Reason8645

#4

“I’m posting everything we say on Instagram. And I’m getting suggestions on what to ask you from my followers”.

Went “to the toilet” and left.

Image credits: _TLDR_Swinton

#5

”Poor people shouldn’t get any help. They should just stop being poor.”

I can’t believe I went on a date with an actual Meme.

Image credits: HereticYojimbo

#6

“You’re not Black enough for me.”

When my date told me this, I excused myself to the bathroom and dipped out the side door of the restaurant, leaving her with the check.

Image credits: easy10pins

#7

I had a dude do nothing but monologue about his ex the entire date. He kept repeating the same “but I’m totally over her” line. It got so bad he even started showing me pictures and her social media (showing me that she was dating someone new now)

I kinda just realized this dude needed someone to talk to in that moment and I really had nothing better going on so f**k it, speak your truth man.

The date was 2.5h long.

Image credits: SinfullySinless

#8

“I have to live with my Mom because all three of my baby mama’s insist that I pay child support”.

NopeNopeNopeNopeNope!

ETA: I think I need to add that, he wasn’t mentioning it, he was COMPLAINING about it. Like “if these women didn’t insist on child support, I would be able to move out” and “I have to put dinner on my credit card because I’m always broke because I have to pay child support”…I paid for my own meal, BTW. Which I don’t mind doing, I always insist on the first date so they don’t think I “owe” them something in return, but he had to out his $12 Denny’s meal (yes, he insisted on Denny’s) on a credit card.

Image credits: TaraDactyl1978

#9

“I expect my women to be shaved from below the eyebrows”.

Image credits: Alex9Andy

#10

For context, I have cerebral palsy. I am well-adjusted so it’s not always obvious but I needed tons of OT and PT growing up, and I currently have a hard time with balance, spatial perception, and muscle control.

I landed a date with this very hot girl; ticked off all the boxes I liked and she was very sweet to boot. By all accounts the date was going perfectly. We were both having a great time, we held hands briefly, and the time seemed to fly by.

Towards the end though we decided to take a subway to a bar I really liked across town and she saw a sign that stated seated passengers would need to surrender their seats to elders and/or disabled people who need them. She blatantly said that she hates disabled people getting accommodations, said disabled people are drains on society, and expressed her view that if someone is disabled enough to need a special parking spot or a seat then they should commit themselves to “homes”. Her tone did a 180 and I couldn’t believe it, she became like a different person for a minute.

I finished the date but in my head I realized that no amount of external sexiness could make up for internal nastiness. An hour-ish after I got home she texted me saying she had a wonderful time and asked me on a second date, and I apologized and said no, not interested. She asked why and I told her that I was in fact a disabled person and was hurt by her comments on the subway, and she never responded. One of my friends was annoyed that I turned down such a hot girl, until I explained all of what happened. That was that.

Image credits: TheshizAlt

#11

We went to a club where there were lots of dancing. There was a woman there who was clearly trashed and blacked out on the dance floor. I don't know how she was still standing upright as she looked like she shouldn't be. I said to my date (I was 30, F) that I wanted to find her friends and make sure she got home safe and that that made me sad and worried for her. And my date said, "Well most girls have fantasies about being r*ped, so she probably would like it."

Needless to say, I rejected his offer to stay over that night, and braved the NYC subway at 2am instead. There was no second date.

Image credits: tillwehavefaces

#12

He was a lech the entire date. At the end he told me he’d pray for me. The next day I got a 4-page letter requesting I excuse his behavior, but after all, I’d encouraged it.

Image credits: OlderAndCynical

#13

“I don’t want to be in a relationship with a cripple”.

I wear an ankle support which you would never know unless I showed you. I don’t wear shorts as I’m a bit insecure about it. The only reason she found out was I loosened it off while we were sitting at the table as having it tightened up for long periods of time makes my ankle ache.

Image credits: Ravo93

#14

As I exited my car in the parking lot to meet up for dinner:
“OMG! YOU LIED!!! YOU SAID YOU WERE 5’8”!!!! YOU ARE AT LEAST 5’10” IN HEELS! DO YOU NOT SEE HOW EMBARRASSING THIS IS FOR ME?????”
I immediately got back in my car and drove away…

We hadn’t even greeted each other yet. He just angrily screamed this at me from 20 feet away… He is 5’10”. I had no problem with him being 5’10”, but apparently he does? It was a weird interaction.

Image credits: feeen1ks

#15

“Are you sure you want to eat that?”

I wanted some fried banana peppers in addition to my small salad.

I was also 118lb and exercised regularly.

Good thing that dude was a jerk because I was on the fence about canceling my drinks date with another guy if this one went well. Luckily Mr. Judgy McJudgerson was not it, and the man I may have canceled became my husband. Thank you, Bachelor Number One, for being an a*s.

Image credits: mascara_flakes

#16

We walked into a bar and most of the people there were Black. No big deal, I live in a southern city that’s mostly Black, segregation might exist here, but you’ve got to work for it.

She had just moved to my city, so wasn’t accustomed to this I guess, she took one look around and said “do you want to go somewhere where there’s more people like us?” I thought she meant lesbians, so I said sure, and suggested a bar a lot of lesbians go to.

We get to the bar, lo and behold it’s roughly 50/50 split between Black and white folk. She said “there’s still so many of them”. I *finally* asked what she meant.

Bold as day she said “Black people. There’s so many Black people”. Date over.

Image credits: Avera_ge

#17

Bro yelled at our uber driver for being a couple minutes late. I was mortified to be on a date with someone who treats service workers like s**t.

Image credits: myunwastaken

#18

We had a great time at bar 1 and proceeded to bar 2. Immediately arriving at bar 2 music was playing and people were dancing. She started making fun of a woman just dancing enjoying herself. She even got other peoples attention around us and pointed at the dancing lady. I skipped out when she wasn’t looking.

Image credits: anon

#19

“I still live with my ex” ……… I’m out.

Image credits: Friendless_and_happy

#20

Not what he said, what he did. Took out his teeth and put it on a napkin to eat his steak. When I looked horrified, he said, “m*th f***s ya teeth up, but I’m thankful I’m clean now.”

Brother, I’m thankful you are too, but I am a vain and terrible person and that’s why I never called you back. I have always wished nothing but love and success in my heart. I’m sorry.

Image credits: hajjtoburningsands

#21

He was going on about a boys trip he took with his old college buddies, and I started tuning out. Then he said **"and my friend, Rob, was like 'wait until these b***hes figure out we're not choking them because they like it!' hahaha!"**

It took me way too long to fully comprehend what he was saying. Like dude, you're telling me you hate women (or your friend does, and it amuses you) on our first date. Are you aware I am in possession of a v*gina? That was the end of that.

Image credits: midnightsunofab*tch

#22

I told him I don’t drink due to substance abuse issues in the past; he suggested we go back to his place and do shots.

Image credits: Irish_Alchemy

#23

Had a date with a guy who interrupted me several times and then told me “I just really love interrupting you because you make this word face when I do.” I ended the date about 5 minutes later.
Edit: I did mean “weird” not word ?.

Image credits: Sad-Panda94

#24

“I cycle through my friend groups about once every three weeks when they get boring.” Ok. Cool. So you’ll bring in a new filly when you’re bored of me.

Image credits: Odd-Secret-8343

#25

Within seconds of my arrival, he mentioned that he needed the Medical Examiner to hurry up and release his wife's death certificate, because he needed the insurance money for a business he was starting. She "drowned in the bathtub while drunk."

His first wife allegedly died in an accidental fall.

The major airline he flies for has a serial k*ller in its ranks.

Image credits: Hiraeth1968

#26

25M

Girl (26F) I went on a date with: “I work two days a week and it’s soooooo draining (normal 8 hour days mind you). I just work to pay the minimum on my debt. I live with my parents otherwise, but they want me to find someone so I can move out.”

She had zero ambition to do anything besides get a boyfriend to take care of her.

#27

Went on a date with a guy once who had to share multiple times on the date about something Andrew Tate said about women and dating.

It’s like we couldn’t have a conversation about modern day dating without him quoting what this guy said about it.

1) Andrew Tate is terrible.

And 2) please formulate your own opinions rather than just adopting them all from someone else. I’m on a date with you, not Andrew Tate.

#28

Lunch date asked me what I’d do if I had a million dollars – stated status qua stuff (pay off debt, invest..) I asked him what would he do and his reply was

“I’d buy my mother a house.”
I replied “wow, that is very kind.”
He said “Nah, I hate my mother & if I buy her a home maybe she will then stay the f**k out of my life.”.

#29

I went on a date with a guy and brought him to an Italian resturaunt I really liked. It was a family owned operation and while not the most presentable, the food was amazing. Upon sitting down he remarks “Pfff, salt and pepper in shakers, ha, where are we, Waffle House?” basically insinuating that this place was trash based on this.

I know its a tiny thing but I just couldn’t shake it that he would make such a comment after I said how much I liked the place.

#30

2 fun stories.

The first, I was talking about my experience going to Chicago; I said it was a cool place, but too easy to end up lost somewhere. The guy immediately said “Yeah there’s too many black people there”.

Then a different guy told me in the middle of the date, “you’re overweight and you have bad posture, you should go back to the gym”.

I said nope to both, although the first one still tried for a while to get me to go back out with him until I blocked his number.

#31

Within the first few minutes “I’ve been going to AA meetings and have been able to limit myself to only six beers a night”.

#32

For me its rarely about what is said, more about what ***isn’t*** said. I can’t believe how stupid hard it is to find people who know how to carry on a conversation without me doing all the work. Like when two of these people meet do they just blankly stare at each other till they bang? Boring.

#33

Not the first date but the first time we had sex- I forgot I left my NuvaRing in so it hurt when he tried to penetrate me. I couldn’t understand why it was sore and was actually really worried, but he looked unbelievably smug and proud that his d**k had hurt me (maybe cause it was validating as to his size) and said “don’t worry, you’ll learn to get better at taking it”.

(My ability to take it is fine, for the record).

#34

She said something to the effect of, “I have two kids. Don’t waste my time unless you plan to be a father to them.” I’m ok with kids but not with that approach.

#35

The date went really well. I was only looking for something casual and so was he. The chemistry and connection were good. The kiss goodbye was meh. The last thing he said on top of that sealed it for me: “great, it’ll be a few weeks but I’m sure I’ll be able to fit you in my rotation.”

I don’t expect to be the only one you see, but if your rotation is so big that it’ll be weeks before I’m *blessed* with an opening- I have a feeling that my enjoyment is not going to be the focus, and that’s a hard pass.

#36

Not said to me, but the fact that he took a casual phone call from his dad and talked to him for 10 minutes about nothing important while I just sat there nursing my beer and feeling awkward as f**k. He probably thought it made him seem super laid back lol.

#37

He came 2 hours late (without any message in between). When he arrived he said “I”m late but that doesn’t matter because I’m here now.”.

#38

This is me telling on myself. I don’t date much, but my first time meeting a girl we were hitting a lull in the conversation. For some reason I tried to fill the lull with a discussion about what she wanted her wedding to be like. Maybe a little too soon for that discussion.

#39

He insisted on ordering my food for me and got it wrong.

Image credits: F*ckOff8932

#40

"I was a suspect in the m*rder of my third wife. They never caught her m*rderer."

It was then that I realized he had positioned himself so that the exit was behind him, and the bathroom was behind me. I.e. I could not excuse myself to the bathroom and then make a run for it. I sat through the rest of the date and made sure I got safely home, then ghosted him. Only time I've ever ghosted anyone.

Image credits: youhadmeatmerlot7

#41

I was on a date with a girl and she said she hated Nickelback. I didn’t even wait to finish my fries or McNuggets. I just got up and called my mom to come get me.

Image credits: Gek-keG

#42

I had a bumble date a few years ago, and within literally 2 mins of meeting her, she started b*tching about her ex, referring to him as "c*nt-bucket".
Instant red flag. Leave the ex talk until at least date 3. I didn't wanna risk becoming a future C*ntBucket!

Image credits: OilAgitated969

#43

I asked what her hobbies were or what she liked to do for fun and she said “netflix and talking to boys”. I was like, “oh i like netflix too.. what shows”. She responded with, “i just like having something on and sitting there. I dont really have favorite shows, I dont like doing anything that makes me sweat, and I dont like ‘hobbies'”.

BYEEEEEEEEEEE. I noped out of that date in like 25 minutes. You like nothing? Not only am I the complete opposite of that but she admitted to not liking “liking” something to do. F**k outa here.

Image credits: PINHEADLARRY5

#44

“This is my aunt and nephew”

She brought her aunt and nephew on our first date.

I’m like cool whatever. Had a few margs and some Mexican food. I payed for everyone of course.

I’ve never seen a chick clean a plate like that on a date.

I f****d the aunt that night.

#45

He told me that he lost his drivers license for driving drunk. Instant nope.

#46

Went out with a women who talked about herself the entire time. Like not a single question about me. I’m a decent conversationalist and want to get to know someone so I’ll ask questions but apart from that I didn’t really talk. The only person that seemed to ask me any questions was the server.

#47

She went on an anti-immigrant rant in a crowded donut shop. She had her back to everyone, so she couldn’t see that people were looking at her. But I was facing them and saw everyone’s stares. Fun times.

#48

Something I said on a first date. I had a nightmare the night before and it was on my mind still so I talked about it on my first date with this chick. Bad idea. Never heard from her again.

#49

This guy took me to his house and walked me through it, explaining that everying was mine, I could do anything I wanted, and he could provide it all.

#50

“Your a*s is nice, can I see it?”.

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