It’s one thing to be intelligent. It’s a whole different can of worms to possess wisdom. And all those times when someone was telling you “you’ll understand when you’re older”—those were moments when they were exercising the latter.
And once folks grew up and understood that all the grown-ups were right—they did understand once they got older—they took to Reddit to share their wisdom and experience in a dedicated thread about the single most “you’ll understand it when you’re older” thing.
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#1
It’s better to be alone than in bad company.
© Photo: Business_Estate8445
#2
That sitting outside in a nice weather just doing absolutely nothing is a gift, and that you can really think of nothing.
© Photo: Satures
#3
Not everybody is going to like you, even if you’re a good person.
© Photo: User
The online thread in question was one from r/AskReddit, the second biggest subreddit on the platform. Reddit user NetworkOver7742 approached the community with the question what is the single most “you’ll understand it when you’re older” thing?. The thread quickly gathered a crowd, netting it 9,000 upvotes and 5,300 comments.
#4
That turning 18 doesn’t make you an adult. Neither does graduating, getting your first place, getting married, or having a baby. It’s kind of a gradual thing, and then one day you’re excited because your favorite variety of potatoes are on sale, and you go “Oh, this is adulthood.”
© Photo: User
#5
[intimacy] won’t make them love you and a baby won’t make them stay.
© Photo: Mysterious_Ad9307
#6
How fast time actually passes. A year feels like an eternity as a kid. As an adult. i’m pretty sure I just blinked and missed my time since I left university
© Photo: User
So, why is age such a big factor in understanding the world?
The short answer is: more time means more experience, and more experience means more smarts (hopefully).
It goes without saying that kids too can be smart, but the amount of things they have experienced throughout their short lives do not stand against the sheer volume of time grownups have spent living on this planet.
#7
The joy of a good mattress.
© Photo: Accurate-Tip6410
#8
“Annoying” or “boring” things like listening to older people tell stories or eating dinner with your family become precious memories when they’re gone. When we’re younger we take so many people in our lives for granted. You never know how much time you’re going to get. Be grateful for “boring”.
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#9
Sleep is a gift, not a punishment.
© Photo: Steven_Dj
But there is more to it than just time.
You see, the brain also needs to develop in order to be able to take in and properly process certain information. Studies suggest that older adults have larger vocabularies and greater knowledge of the depth of the meaning in these vocabularies than younger adults caused by changes in cognition in the brain.
#10
How awesome staying home can be if your home is comfortable and safe.
#11
How dumb you actually are as a teenager and well into your twenties. We all thought we knew better, didn’t we? Some of us still do, but most of us have matured enough to realize that aside from maybe one or two topics, we know exactly two things: “Jack” and “S**t”, and Jack left town.
© Photo: User
#12
How much of a waste of time and mental energy it is to be very concerned with your looks. Especially as a woman. There’s a reason most makeup/fashion etc social media gals are in their 20s … older women have stopped giving a s**t. Doesn’t mean we’ve given up on our appearance, we’ve just realized we are naturally hot anyway and devoted our attention to other things that enrich our lives.
And it doesn’t stop there as the older you get, the more your brain changes—certain parts of the brain shrink, the neurons in some parts become less effective, blood flow may decrease, and inflammation can become more frequent. Unfortunately, all of these aren’t all that good of a change, but that doesn’t stop folks from learning new things, nor does it diminish their aptitude for it.
#13
How your body really does decline even if you do everything right (work out, maintain a good weight, good sleep, food, etc). When you’re young you can’t imagine not having the strength or energy to do anything you want. Then you get much older and your body can just give out on you.
© Photo: OriginalState2988
#14
Sometimes, you don’t get closure, either as the victim of wrongdoing, or what I’m really talking about, as the perpetrator. Let’s say you did someone badly, and you’ve really, honestly had a change of heart and mind, and you want to make amends. If they don’t want to hear from you, and don’t want to forgive you, you’re out of luck. I know you want to put it to rest. But you don’t get to force your “sorry” on someone who may still be traumatized by your prior actions. They don’t owe you that opportunity for atonement. And insisting on them forgiving you, or even talking to you, is forcing them to relive the trauma from the first time, and re-traumatizing them. It doesn’t matter that your intentions are pure. They have a right to be left alone. If this happens to you, as the perpetrator, the only step left to you is to live with your guilt. How you go about that is up to you, as long as you continue a life of not hurting others. Get comfortable with that guilt, because no one owes you closure.
#15
How rare real friends you can count on.
© Photo: User
Another study suggests that kids see words and faces differently from adults. TL;DR: the center of the brain that processes these is in a slightly different place and the different sides of the brain process information at a different pace. Again, another indicator that the brain needs to develop in order to reach a certain milestone of understanding.
#16
“We got food at home.” We sure as h**l do and it cost me 10x less than any fast food place my kids point out every day.
© Photo: User
#17
The importance of good posture and stretching.
© Photo: User
#18
Comfort trumps all. Good warm socks and very comfortable shoes. Brands be damned.
Yet another study showed that kids have trouble understanding what people say sometimes for a number of reasons. This might be caused by trouble with focus, working memory or processing sounds and words in general. However, since the brain works on a practice makes perfect basis, working on it might likely help develop the skills needed. Again, it’s all about putting time and effort into it.
#19
Karma is a myth. Plenty of s****y people out here living their best life. So when people hurt you, dust yourself up and move on. Don’t wait on the “universe” to avenge you, it will not.
#20
Choosing your battles.
© Photo: Mr-Hat
#21
Pop music, slang, and other teen culture. Teens always think they invented culture and their opinions are objective truth. Older people see those fads come and go every year and know they are just passing fads.
© Photo: AgentElman
It’s not to say kids don’t understand anything. On the contrary, they excel in other ways. Because kids are extremely curious and their attention is all over the place, they often notice things adults don’t. Even if they are asked to focus on a particular aspect of a picture, they will likely notice changes where they weren’t asked to focus, while adults often fail at that.
#22
You really do stop caring about other people’s opinions. That self doubt you have in your 20’s where you’re always concerned about how you appear to others- it absolutely diminishes or goes away completely in your mid to late 30’s. For most people anyways. As I’ve gotten older I’ve cared less and less about clothing trends, people pleasing, and sacrificing my own well being for the happiness or pleasure of others. I see TikTok’s from younger generations that talk about how millennials can change their style to look less old or dated. And I just can’t fathom who actually needs that information except younger folks who wanna dogpile on an older generation. I can say with the utmost confidence, the vast majority of people have so much more to worry and care about than what a 20 year old thinks of the rise on their pants. You realize that the majority of people aren’t actually thinking about you at all, let alone what you’re wearing or how you look. ETA- I’m not saying that no one should ever care about anyone else’s opinion ever. Some level of awareness is important. However, so many people spend so much time trying to become something or someone else in order to fit in. People spend so much money and time trying to be *that girl or guy*. Women especially have so much pressure to fit certain standards under the guise that everyone is watching and judging them. When you get older, you realize that the vast majority of that pressure was most likely a lie to either sell you something or to make you feel bad so others can feel better about themselves.
#23
I would say that the world is not black and white. What seems to clear and straightforward becomes murkier and harder to cleanly divide as you get older. It’s not (just) dementia: as you get older, you realize more and more what causes people to act the way they do and the roles of victim and perpetrator become harder to distinguish. The key concept is that victims become perpetrators.
© Photo: User
#24
There’s always room to grow, never stop.
© Photo: Wonderful_Lillies
At that point, their brain is in a different mode—one that allows them to soak in more from their environment with that kind of unfocused focusing. Of course, they do need to learn to focus as it is a skill that will benefit them in later life, but you can see how perspective changes over time.
#25
1. Avril Lavigne was right. It has all been done before. So chill out. 2. This, too, shall pass. No, really. 3. How awesome it is to be a mostly average human being living an average life of whom only mediocrity is expected. For one thing, you’re never alone with whatever it is. 4. If you’re young you take for granted so many things. Your time. Your health. Your natural beauty. The friendships you so easily make. Only by getting older and seeing those things get jeopardised or taken away, can you learn to understand the power of these things.
#26
The phrase ‘youth is wasted on the young’ I would always get so offended hearing that when I was a child, usually spoken to me after I had done some ridiculous feat that took so much energy to do absolutely nothing at all. I know what they meant now. And I’m only in mid 30s. The adults that would tell me this were 50 and up and looking at me so wistfully. I understand.
© Photo: nahimana_dyani
#27
Naptime
Ultimately, these changes lead to new and more complex understandings of the world and the things in it. And throw some creativity into the mix—you might end up with more than just an understanding, but actually with a better way of dealing with issues in general.
#28
The sheer power of compound interest over time.
© Photo: User
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