“Would I Be The [Jerk] For Not Offering A Meat Option At Our Wedding?”

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When planning a wedding menu, many couples aim for a mix of their favorite dishes and crowd-pleasers. With the rise in plant-based lifestyles, many weddings now include vegetarian or vegan options. But what if a couple’s choice doesn’t align with their family’s expectations?

This very scenario played out when one woman turned to the internet for advice after her mother objected to her and her fiancé’s decision to offer only vegetarian food at their wedding. The couple, who primarily follow a vegan lifestyle, felt that supporting the meat industry on their big day contradicted their values. However, her mother argued that restricting the menu would be unfair to guests. Keep reading to see how others weigh in on this ethical and dietary debate.

Couples often aim to create a wedding menu that aligns with their values and personal tastes

Hands holding forks, eating a colorful vegetarian dish, highlighting wedding meal options without meat.

Image credits: S O C I A L . C U T / unsplash (not the actual photo)

A bride-to-be shared her dilemma after her mother voiced concerns over her decision to have a fully vegetarian wedding menu

Text discussing wedding planning and considering not having a meat option, mentioning family contributions to costs.

Text explaining a vegetarian and vegan diet choice for family meals.

Two people preparing vegetarian sandwiches, slicing bread and adding greens, related to wedding meal discussions.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text about wedding choices, discussing not offering a meat option to avoid supporting the meat industry.

Text about considering a meat option at a wedding, discussing dietary preferences.

Guests enjoying a vegetarian meal at a wedding reception, smiling and chatting around a table.

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text discussing expectation of vegetarian options at weddings and asking if not offering a meat option makes someone a jerk.

Image credits: PurpleUnicorn434

The bride-to-be shared more details about her plans for the food menu on her big day

Reddit discussion on vegetarian wedding menu options, addressing concerns about not offering meat.

Debate about skipping formal meal and hiring pizza truck at wedding in comments discussing meat options.

Text discussion about wedding meal options and allergies, focusing on not providing a meat option.

Text exchange debating vegetarian wedding menu options and quality.

For wedding guests, the food often stands out as one of the most memorable parts of the celebration, leaving a lasting impression

Guests serving from a vegetarian buffet at a wedding reception.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Setting the menu for your wedding can be one of the most fun (and delicious) parts of planning. From elegant dishes like gourmet steak to playful additions like a cotton candy stand, there’s no limit to what you can dream up. Couples now have the freedom to design a menu that reflects their personalities and tastes, making the food experience memorable for everyone.

Let’s be real: while guests love the heartfelt vows and the fun dance floor, the food often becomes the star of the evening. It’s a chance to indulge, celebrate, and enjoy a special meal together. Food is, for many, a highlight they eagerly look forward to.

Catering is one of the most expensive parts of a wedding. According to ‘The Knot’s 2023 Real Weddings Study’, newlyweds are spending an average of $85 per guest on catering. This includes everything from appetizers to desserts, making it a major part of the budget.

Surprisingly, catering costs per guest remain fairly stable regardless of guest count. For instance, weddings with 50 guests spent around $85 per person, while those with 51-100 guests spent slightly less on average. Larger weddings with over 100 guests also stayed in the same range, costing about $86 per person. So, for a wedding of 50 guests, a couple can expect a catering bill of around $4,250 and it scales up quickly as the guest list grows.

These days, more couples are making their menus inclusive, offering options like dairy-free or gluten-free dishes to ensure everyone can enjoy the meal

Vegetarian wedding platter with fruits and vegetables arranged on a wooden table, without meat options.

Image credits: Luisa Brimble / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Many couples are adding a personal touch to their wedding menu. According to the survey, about 14% of newlyweds included dishes inspired by their culture or hometowns. It’s a lovely way to bring guests closer to the couple’s heritage and to make the celebration feel more intimate and meaningful.

Today’s couples are also focusing on inclusivity. Approximately 61% of those surveyed by ‘The Knot’ offered options for guests with dietary restrictions, from gluten-free to vegan selections. Offering a diverse menu has become essential, making sure all guests feel welcomed and included in the celebration.

For this particular couple, the decision to have a meat-free wedding menu reflected their vegan lifestyle. They felt it was important not to spend money on meat out of personal beliefs, hoping their guests would understand. However, the bride’s mother questioned if it was fair, asking how they’d feel if another wedding only served meat options. 

Couples face unique challenges when balancing their preferences with guests’ expectations. Food is often a sensitive topic, and many families expect certain dishes to be served at a wedding. For those going against the norm, like serving only vegetarian dishes, they may encounter mixed reactions from family and friends who expect traditional fare.

This topic brings up an interesting question for many of us: where do you stand on having an all-vegetarian wedding menu? Do you think it’s fair to ask guests to step outside their usual preferences for one day? What’s one food you’d love to see at a wedding? Would you go traditional, or stick with something unique to you and your partner’s tastes?

Some people said it’s entirely up to the author to decide what’s on the menu, since it’s her wedding

Text screenshot discussing not offering meat at a wedding, emphasizing guest choice.

Wedding comment about offering only vegetarian meal options instead of meat for a better guest experience.

Comment on wedding food options, discussing appealing simple vegan and vegetarian dishes for fussy eaters.

Reddit comment discussing lack of meat option at wedding with bold “NTA” response.

Online discussion about wedding meal choices, focusing on not offering a meat option.

Reddit comment discussing not offering meat at a wedding, suggesting guests can eat elsewhere.

Reddit comment discussing vegetarian options at a meat-free wedding.

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Text comment discussing the lack of meat option at a wedding, supporting the vegetarian menu choice.

Reddit comment discussing opinions on offering meat at weddings, mentioning cultural dietary choices.

Comment discussing the choice of not offering a meat option at a wedding, emphasizing guest flexibility.

Comment supports no meat option at wedding, emphasizing guest choice and accepting dietary preferences.

A few others felt it was unfair to make non-vegetarian guests eat only vegetarian food

Text comment discussing wedding menu options and guest preferences.

Debate on meat options at weddings; one comment questions moral superiority, another cites sustainability and demand issues.

Discussion about offering meat at a wedding and whether it makes someone a jerk for not including it.

Reddit debate discussing wedding meat options, featuring opinions on animal welfare and vegetarian choices.

Debate on offering meat option at wedding; one user thinks it's rude, while another clarifies all guests will have food.

Others chimed in with their own stories of attending weddings with veggie menus and actually enjoying the meals

Text thread discussing a vegetarian wedding without meat options, highlighting guest reactions and diverse menu choices.

Comment discussing wedding menu choices, mentioning being vegetarian and including a lasagna option.

Comment discussing offering a meat option at a wedding; guest brought meat to a vegan one.

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