Nothing makes a woman’s heart flutter like being asked to reimburse her date for half of the pizza they shared, or being told that she’s not allowed to order any drinks except water because that would be too expensive.
Dating definitely should not be about having money, but it can sometimes be a red flag when individuals aren’t willing to spend at all. Women on Reddit have recently been detailing their experiences with dating people who are frugal to a fault, so we’ve gathered some of their most shocking stories below. Keep reading to find a conversation with Master Certified Relationship Coach Amie Leadingham, and be sure to upvote the tales that make you grateful that your partner doesn’t send invoices after every date!
#1
Bf of 3 years got into a small car accident, where air bags went off. He called me from the garage and said he decided to only replace the driver’s seat airbag and not passenger’s seat because each airbag was a few hundred dollars to replace.
I was the main person sitting in that passenger seat.
After I heard him say that with complete nonchalance (and knowing he had $10k in the bank), I realized he just truly did not care about me, and couldn’t be a partner.
Image credits: missdopamine
#2
He wanted to pay the dinner bill in front of his colleagues and then ask me to transfer him money afterwards so they didn’t see him making his girlfriend pay for her own meal. He made 4x what I made and was obsessed with saving every penny of that. Never again lmao
Image credits: BudgetInteraction811
#3
I went on a first date with a guy who suggested we go to a restaurant because he had a coupon and then decided it was too far of a drive and he didn’t want to spend the gas money (it was like a 15 minute drive) so then he flipped through his wallet of coupons and found one for applebees for free wings with the purchase of a beer. i’m not a huge fan of wings but just thought that’s great he can get some wings for his meal. we got there and he immediately told the waitress he had a coupon, asked for the cheapest beer they had, and ordered his wings. then the waitress looked at me and asked what i wanted, and before i could speak he tells her i’m having the wings with him and i said “actually no thanks” and ordered some food for myself and he got visibly upset and then wouldn’t speak to me and watched basketball on the tv for the remainder of the date. then when the waitress came and asked if the check would be together, he hesitated so i quickly asked for separate checks. frugality is fine, but this man’s financial situation was equal to my own.
bonus content: before the date, we met at a park and he started fishing (??) so I wandered around until he was done (and took a picture of him with his fish), then he played his guitar at me for an hour insisting i sing with him (i cannot sing), and on the way home he told me women shouldn’t work and belong in the home and basically told me i had a joke major because I was an art student and that that was great for me but he has to be more serious and isn’t comfortable working a service job after college.
Image credits: shiroh17
#4
I’d say this is just being a cheap idiot rather than frugal, but I was sick with COVID and asked if he could bring me some grapes and frozen mango. He dropped them off at my door, then sent me a Venmo request for the $10 they cost.
Meanwhile, I had gotten him a $300 pair of glasses, let him eat out of my cupboard & fridge whenever he came over, routinely picked him up at the airport, and the only date he ever took me on was our first date to Starbucks.
Image credits: moonstonemayhem
#5
He didn’t plan ahead and went on a roadtrip with his elderly father. He refused to pay for a hotel/motel because is was over $100 a night and made his father, who was in his late 80s sleep in his Volkswagen golf.
Image credits: gemhreqo
#6
I once was asked to Venmo him two dollars for the few bites I took out of his six-dollar rice platter.
Image credits: Ok-Pomelo494
#7
One guy told me he has a credit card that gives 25 cents back per transaction. He uses self checkout and does a separate transaction for each item. He also pays $400/month in rent, despite making around $120K/year as a private LMFT. When I went to his house it was infested with mice, he didn’t have flooring (literally was walking around on the subfloor), and the whole house smelled horribly like animal feces. Disgusting. And he comes across as super put together and professional.. it totally threw me off.
Image credits: VeryCoolAndFunny
#8
He asked if I wanted to go to dinner to a hungry horse (very budget restaurant in England) with him as he had a coupon for buy one meal get one free.
He ordered two meals and ate them both 😂😂😂
Image credits: Clioashlee
#9
We spent hours one day on the slopes and when we finally left I was starving. I begged him to stop at a gas station so I could get something to eat but he refused as “we had food at home.” It was an hour and a half drive and I felt light headed the whole time. We got home and he proceeded to make this obnoxious dinner of salmon and poached apples that took 2 hours. I ate like 3 granola bars while hiding in the bathroom. Gee I hated him.
Image credits: momzspaghettti
#10
Once dated a guy who wasn’t exactly rich, but had more than your average person with a hefty inheritance. Early on into our relationship, he invited 6 of his friends over on Valentine’s Day (which was apparently his valentines gift to me: quality time with his friends) for a home cooked meal. At the end of the meal, he asked everyone for £10 a head. I couldn’t image ever inviting people over to my house and charging them to eat.
Image credits: bvladkin95 (not the actual photo)
#11
I was together for 10 years with one. For me the worst of it was the psychological effect it had on me. I lived in constant anxiety on how I would set him off this month, if it would be anger or a panic attack that would fall onto me to handle. We both made a similar salary and were able to put over €1000 each into our savings account every month so we were very much not poor. Yet I was not allowed to buy ‘non essential items’ because they were too expensive. The list of non essential items was long and included everything that was not necessary to live. Oranges were on it for example. I found out through trial and error what he considered essential and a trip to the supermarket became a whole ordeal on about what I was allowed to purchase and what not. We never went on a holiday once when together because non-essential. We very rarely did take-out. We never went on dates together that required money. House appliances that were very much needed became a whole discussion of months to purchase and I had to really motivate as to why I would need something. We each contributed a set amount of money to groceries each month but with the growing inflation this was not enough anymore. Instead of raising the amount along with the inflation (our salaries grew accordingly btw, we live in Belgium and here salaries are automatically scaled to the inflation rate so again, money was very much not a problem) I was tasked with finding ways to cut our spendings. I couldn’t and this was met nearly every time I purchased something with either being berated for buying ‘luxury items’ such as the expensive lunch meat instead of the cheap one, or it triggered a panic attack in him. I eventually started paying for a lot of things with my own money just to avoid his reactions. It also overflowed to expenses I made with my own money, like buying new clothes or hobby things became a whole drama because those were also non-essential. I couldn’t spend my own money how I wanted. I started to work from home a lot to save on gas and avoid meltdowns about the price of fuel. Money controlled my whole life even though we had plenty of it.
To this day I still can’t purchase things for myself without feeling guilty. It goes as far as things like oranges and avocados. I get panic attacks when I have to spend a large amount of money.
#12
Well, it was mostly that he was frugal with me, but spent whatever he wanted on himself. We were married. My son and I got the cheapest of everything, asked if I truly needed items (like new shoes because mine were falling apart or my son had outgrown his) but had to have name brand everything for himself, just because he wanted it.
Image credits: Cukimonster
#13
I’m a guy but I had a previous girlfriend tell me about one of her previous first dates with a guy and when she offered to pay he said “oh, in that case I’m getting a sandwich to take home too” and order ANOTHER meal to go.
Image credits: JoJack82
#14
This was technically before we started dating, but one of my exes is so cheap we went on holiday once and she refused to spend money on public transportation so she made me walk like 50-60k steps every day for an entire week. I thought my feet were gonna fall off.
Image credits: chitchita
#15
He believed that mattresses and cots were a waste of time and believed everyone should sleep on the floor.
I noped out of that one pretty fast.
Image credits: SoullessCactus
#16
I bought my own ($300) engagement ring 🫠 I can’t remember if he every paid me back, but suffice it to say… we did not get married.
Image credits: mamaneedsacar
#17
Instead of buying pads for her period, she’d ask me to steal diapers from the daycare I worked at to save money. Another time I came home, and there was a box of diapers. She got them from a diaper bank, claiming she was a mom. I even offered to buy her pads, tampons, or a Diva cup. She only wanted diapers.
Image credits: thebabepee
#18
Three rooms, a light fitting in each, but only two lamp shades and one light bulb between them.
Yes you guessed it, you either used your phone for light or had to transport the bulb to use the light for a 2am wee.
Image credits: Blah0013
#19
Instead of getting a hotel for the road-trip we were going on, he suggested we just sleep in his regular-sized car.
I did not go on said road-trip after this suggestion.
Image credits: Beautiful_Feature190
#20
He had planned a short getaway for us together. I was shocked to arrive at the hotel and find out that our rooms had no windows. He said that these rooms were cheaper by about 5 to 10 dollars…
Also, meticulously noting down every single expense on his phone so that we could go halvesies later. Nothing inherently wrong with that, I concede, but I was happy to just take it in turns to pay for stuff and not be so calculative lol
We didn’t last long
Image credits: alexisohyes
#21
Went for pizza with my ex bf (he was really cheap, too many stories), he “forgot” his wallet and after I paid he broke up with me lol
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