For many men, finding out about a pregnancy is good news. England’s national maternity survey of 2010 showed that over 80% of fathers’ reactions to the news of their first baby included being “overjoyed” and “pleased.” However, such a reaction isn’t always a given.
This dad-to-be got mad at his wife when she broke the news during his birthday. After receiving the positive pregnancy test as a birthday gift, he blew up at his wife, calling the present “stupid” and asking why she didn’t tell him right away. At a loss, the wife turned to the internet for advice.
A woman found out she was pregnant and decided to surprise her husband for his birthday
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Yet, his reaction wasn’t positive and left her dumbfounded
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
Image source: Famous-Ask-3105
News of a pregnancy can be overwhelming, but it’s best to break it as soon as possible
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
The biggest issue for the father-to-be in this story seems to be the fact that the wife kept the baby news from him for three days. But not all fathers are usually there when the mother finds out about her pregnancy.
According to England’s national maternity survey of 2010, 62% of the fathers were present for the pregnancy test or when the pregnancy was confirmed. Experts recommend telling family members and friends after the first trimester is over. But a partner should find out earlier.
Although there’s no exact rule about when a partner should find out about a pregnancy, sooner is always better than later. “It’s important to let your partner know sooner rather than later so they can be supportive and with you throughout the process,” Christine Greves, MD, FACOG, an ob-gyn at the Orlando Health Women’s Institute, told The Bump.
It’s about the level of honesty and intimacy, too. If the couple already shares everything and anything, keeping a pregnancy a secret, even for as little as three days, might seem hurtful to the other person. In the end, it’s all about what kind of relationship the future parents have.
Experts recommend announcing a pregnancy to a partner in an intimate environment
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
When breaking the news about a planned pregnancy (despite the husband’s reaction, the wife claims in her post that they were actively trying), experts recommend picking a private place and dedicating as much time to it as needed.
Such news can be overwhelming, so moms-to-be should curb their expectations about the dad’s reaction. Allie Kidd, LISW-S, LCSW, told What To Expect that a good time and place to make the announcement is when the couple are both home after work in the evening.
“You may both be having some big feelings after you share the news — even pleasant feelings, when intense, can be overwhelming!” Kidd noted. “So be mindful of what’s on your agenda after the chat.”
However, all couples are different, so the way a mom-to-be makes the pregnancy announcement can differ from couple to couple. Some like light-hearted jokes, so they may incorporate that.
If they’re both straightforward, no-nonsense people, a simple picture of the positive test right after taking it might be the best way.
Perhaps another thing that irked the husband about finding out this way was the lack of intimacy. A birthday party isn’t the most intimate of places. Maybe he wanted to find out while only he and his wife were present at home or in the room so it would feel more personal and special.
People in the comments went off on the husband, and many even accused him of infidelity
A few commenters shared how happy their husbands were to find out about a pregnancy
However, some folks felt that a positive pregnancy test was an inappropriate birthday gift
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