Equally contributing to maintaining a household is widely considered to be the key to a healthy and lasting relationship. It boosts understanding and empathy and prevents resentment from building up.
Some researchers even believe that it’s not about dividing the tasks—as in, I do laundry and you cook dinner—but about sharing them. That is, both partners take on a similar load of different tasks. That might mean doing the cooking and cleaning interchangeably every other day or divvying up the tasks in any other way that seems fair and appropriate to each partner’s schedules.
In the light of these findings, the behavior of the author of the following story might come off as a little problematic. The whole “sharing the tasks” idea just seems silly to him. Scroll down to see why.
Sharing household chores is an important part of an equal and lasting relationship that allows both partners to feel respected and understood
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
But what if one partner is more competent at doing the chores? That is the dilemma that the author of the following story has
Image credits: Le Creuset (not the actual photo)
Image credits: anon
The author of the story seems to be weaponizing his incompetence
The phrase “weaponizing incompetence” has been growing in popularity online. It means that a person puts little to no effort into a task to avoid responsibility. This is especially common in relationships and, unfortunately, is often done by men.
Purposefully screwing a task up so that you won’t get asked to do it again is a prime example of weaponizing incompetence. So is the phrase “You’re so much better at this than I am, why don’t you just take it on?” The author of this story seems to be using both of these to get out of his cooking responsibility.
This behavior can be detrimental to a relationship
Avoiding responsibilities can erode even the most stable of partnerships because, ultimately, it is unfair. Frustration and resentment are bound to build up over time. Partners might also experience lack of trust because they don’t feel supported in the everyday tasks. All of that might lead to more conflict and a breakdown of communication.
So, the couple needs to remedy the situation. The first step to do so is to acknowledge the problematic behavior. Then, it’s all about communicating what both partners find fair.
When you think about it, cooking once a week is not that big of an ask. If working with fresh food is a bit too much, the boyfriend can use premade options to make cooking easier. Having take-out or going out to eat can also be an option here.
The majority of people agreed that this type of behavior is unacceptable
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