The way to someone’s heart is often through their stomach. Bring your crush warm, freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, and they’ll be swooning in no time. Make a delicious, comforting lasagna on date night, and your partner will be absolutely smitten.
But relationships should be 50/50, and it’s going to leave a sour taste in your partner’s mouth if you refuse to help out in the kitchen at all. One woman recently reached out to Mumsnet asking for advice after she decided that she was tired of doing all of the meal preparation in her household. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies readers shared.
Cooking for your partner can be an act of love
Image credits: arthurhidden / envato (not the actual photo)
But this woman is tired of being expected to do all the cooking in her household, even after working incredibly long hours
Image credits: ADDICTIVE_STOCK / envato (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman shared even more details about her situation
Image credits: ZanyPlumExpert
Women do the bulk of meal preparation in the vast majority of households
Cooking for or with your partner is a great way to strengthen your relationship. In fact, 71% of Americans say that cooking is their love language, and over 80% of people who are currently in relationships find it impressive when their partner makes them a delicious meal.
Nearly three quarters of Americans also say that cooking alongside their partner is one of their favorite activities, and 70% love cooking with their family members as well.
But just like many other acts of love, cooking can be a wonderful experience when you choose to do it or a huge chore when you’re forced or expected to spend hours in the kitchen. I personally love cooking and baking, and I will happily do so nearly every day of the week. But I need my partner to take the reins at least one evening a week when I’m exhausted, or I will lose my mind.
And despite the fact that feminism has come a long way during the past century, it’s still incredibly common for women to take on the bulk of responsibilities when it comes to meal preparation.
The Pew Research Center reports that in a whopping 80% of American households with kids, women are in charge of most of the meals and the majority of grocery shopping. In homes without children, three quarters of women say that they usually do the cooking, and 68% report being in charge of most of the grocery shopping.
An imbalance of domestic labor between partners can take a huge toll on a relationship
Now, there’s nothing wrong with this arrangement if both partners consent to it. If you truly love cooking, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t do it! But it’s undeniable that the acts of cooking and grocery shopping do take time out of your day, and that time can be incredibly valuable if you’re commuting 3 hours home after a brutal shift.
According to the Pew Research Center, moms spend 68 minutes on meal prep every day, while dads usually only spend about 23 minutes preparing food. But Verywell Mind notes that this imbalance when it comes to housework can take a huge toll on relationships.
A person’s satisfaction in their relationship can be greatly decreased if they feel like they’re contributing more to the relationship than their partner. They might also feel distressed if they are constantly worried about what they need to get done at home after a long day of accomplishing tasks at work.
The feeling of being overwhelmed with housework can negatively impact a person’ mental health, and if they’re married, it can increase the chance that they’ll get divorced in the future.
It’s incredibly unfair to expect your partner to do all of the cooking in your household, and it can create a “me versus you” dynamic, instead of both partners working together as a team. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What advice would you give this young woman? Then, we recommend checking out another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes right here.
Readers urged the author not to return to her relationship, warning that her partner’s behavior will probably never improve
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