“You can never truly know another person,” people say. That can be really scary in relationships; a person can do a complete 180 without you ever knowing why. Sometimes, partners become increasingly controlling, and, as research shows, women bear the brunt of that.
68% of young women in the U.S. admit they’ve experienced one or more episodes of controlling behavior from their partners. Such an episode was the start of a really scary experience for this woman, who recently shared how her BF went from a controlling red flag to dangerous and even possibly psychotic.
A woman packed her bags and left after her BF started showing signs of controlling behavior
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When she wanted to go out with friends, he insisted on a curfew: “These are my standards”
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There may be early signs that a partner is too controlling
People have different standards and boundaries in relationships. Some may have jealous tendencies, for others – values just might not align. However, what some partners call boundaries are actually pretty alarming red flags.
Certain individuals might mask their controlling tendencies under the guise of boundaries and standards. But how do we know if what we’re experiencing are valid principles or just an attempt at domination?
Micromanaging is one of the most obvious signs of a manipulative partner. According to the experts at PsychCentral, a partner that is too controlling keeps tabs on everything from your weight to what people you are meeting and even what you are eating.
Clinical psychologist Andrea Bonior, Ph.D. writes for Psychology Today that some partners become overly protective and controlling out of jealousy. Although at first, that jealousy can seem romantic or flattering, constant suspicion and competitiveness are sighs of a controlling partner. They act paranoid about you meeting other people (or certain people) and view your every interaction as flirtatious.
Manipulative partners also make decisions for you. They think they can set curfews, agree or disagree with how you dress, insist on driving you everywhere, and purposefully wasting your time to make you late.
Some manipulative partners, like the BF in this story, even make threats, which can be both physical or emotional. Sometimes, a controlling partner might even make threats about other people closest to you.
The situation doesn’t have to turn physically violent for you to know you should leave. Gretchen Shaw, deputy director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, told Newsweek that when a partner’s actions cause a person harm, the relationship is exploitative.
“I give him 100% loyalty so when I want to go out with my girlfriends, he should have 100% trust in what I do,” the woman believed
People agreed that the way the BF was acting was not okay and she was right to run
The situation escalated very quickly: the woman had to start fearing for her and her family’s lives
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Sudden personality changes can be caused by something much more serious than listening to a Manosphere podcast
This Redditor’s story is scary and definitely not something anyone would want to experience. People in the comments speculated what could have caused the boyfriend’s sudden behavioral changes, guessing everything from the boyfriend possibly getting red-pilled online by the Manosphere to the onset of schizophrenia.
In reality, there can be several reasons for a sudden personality shift:
- A traumatic injury. Brain trauma to the frontal lobe may impact our speech, cognitive skills, and emotional expression. If a person gets into a car accident or suffers a blow to the head, one of the symptoms might impact their personality.
- Brain tumor. Not long ago, Bored Panda wrote about a husband who falsely insisted his wife was pregnant. The story turned out to be heartbreaking, as his delusion was a symptom of terminal brain cancer. So, brain tumor can sometimes be responsible for sudden personality changes.
- A mental health condition. Like some commenters already suggested, illnesses like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or PTSD may be responsible for a sudden shift in behavior. Many people in the comments were inclined to believe that it’s schizophrenia because the boyfriend is at the right age for when the symptoms first start: adolescence to eartly 30s.
- Dependance on substances. Conditions like alcoholism or dependance on harder and/or illegal substances might also be responsible for unexpected personality changes. People may become physically or psychologically violent since such substances change the brain and neurochemistry.
Some medical causes of a less extreme personality shift might include suffering a stroke Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, depression, dementia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, menopause, overactive thyroid, or an anxiety disorder.
“I fell like the word ‘yikes’ was invented for a situation like this,” people commented, reacting to the wild story
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